The quest for pancakes

It's Not fun It's Funny Though

Kinda random, but I enjoyed it anyway.

Well, this is certainly a game, not so sure on the story part though. Well, though everything wrong with this storygame has been already said by the many other commenters, but I'll try to condense it all into one comment so that people may be able to see if this "story"game is any good.

First of all, length! This was so short that I will probably have a higher word count by the end of this mini-review than your story actually had... jokes aside though, not only was this so painfully short, but what's worse, the pages themselves almost never had more than one sentence(and even then, it often did not even have good punctuation).

Now, for the concept itself. You are hungry and you want to make pancakes to end said hunger, it doesn't get any more simple than that. If written well, this could have left me both satisfied that I read a good story and hungry since I wanted to eat pancakes quite badly... this left me only hungry and unsatisfied and what's worse, you actually show a bit of potential on the first page, only to let it all fall down in shambles for the rest of the story itself.

Now for the grammar... or the lack thereof. The only place where I can get a good hold of your grammatical skills is on the first page and as I've previously mentioned, just from that, it had the potential to become at least a somewhat entertaining piece of writing, but again, you simply quit after that page and decided that writing three to six word pages was a more effective way to quickly be done with this story... I suppose writing about food made you hungry as well and rushed this so that you could go and actually make some pancakes.

Well, here's the end of the review and I can honestly say that I am quite disappointed. This could have a good and informative(or amusing, depending on what you wished to do) storygame about one person wishing to make some pancakes to end their hunger, but instead it was short, messy and left me unsatisfied when I got to the end of it.

In the end, I rate it a 2/8. At first, I wanted to rate a 1/8, but the potential of the storygame and the blockbuster joke itself allowed me to at least bump this up to a 2.

Humorous, but there was about three words on each page.

Man, now I want pancakes. ;)

For some unfathomable reason, I just decided to just flood my house apparently. xD

I like burnt pancakes!

This game has funny endings, like throwing your p. Cake out the window. It made me smile! Love it!

Kind of linear, and can you spell bowl instead of bowel. It was kind of creepy.

A short linear storygame about eating pancakes.

nice.