Unlikely Heroes

Player Rating3.48/8

"#620 overall, #73 for 2015"
based on 77 ratings since 06/13/2015
played 1,069 times (finished 102)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

After seeing an unnatural streak of light flashing in the sky,  some people across the city of Dallion fainted on the spot. The light fell onto a part of the city then violently exploded, creating a giant crater, throwing the city into anarchy in the process. You, Derek, a seventeen-year-old high school student and your girlfriend, Julia, were one of those who fainted. When you woke up, you discover that you were granted powers you two only ever dreamed of. Now you're both out of the hospital, it's up to you and the others who presumably got the same power, to help what's left of the police and the government to restore order to Dallion. Or, of course, to go in the opposite direction: dominate the city and defeat those who oppose you. 

Goal: To win. If a page contains "End game and leave comments" it is an ending. Sometimes it says you didn't win, others You failed, and You have won. You know which one you want. Choose wisely. 

Warning: Suggestive themes may occur or mention sped like sexual themes, death, torture (not so much) and drug use, so on. If you use ESRB rating (which I do cause I'm a big gamer) this game would be on M. Definitely not on R. Probably. Also, don't go crying over a random death because they do exist. Also, please no "OMG did you just write that that's so sick" I appreciate feedback, and I will happily listen to thppwhatever criticism you have, on plot, grammar, themes or anything. Just please, don't overreact. 

Good day to you and have a good time! 

Player Comments

A 6/8 length story is impressive, but, in so many ways this is almost unreadable. The grammar needs serious work, to begin with.

I mean... 'Once you and Julia was out of the hospital, you demanded to go home.' ...we're talking the very first sentence of the story here. And there are other examples on the first page alone. I didn't get the sense any proofreading was done at all here.

The protagonist not seeming to have any reaction at all to the loss of his family, his home, or the unknown numbers of other people who would've died in the area, makes me pretty much instantly unable to care about or relate to him, and Julia's not any better.

And unless freak accidents bestowing super powers is just a normal thing in this setting, the underwhelming response of absolutely everyone else--doctors, authorities, etc--is a little difficult to just accept.

It's possible I missed a few details because it all honesty I had trouble staying engaged with this story, with the things I mentioned all happening in the first couple of pages and being pretty off putting. Unlikeable characters + lack of immersion = uninteresting story.

This is a genre I love in theory, just the way this one was executed felt really rushed and lazy. The grammar at the very least, there was no excuse for.
-- mizal on 1/18/2017 10:03:37 PM with a score of 0
(Sorry if I'm being rude, I just want to help)

Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. First off, what the heck is even going on here?

Here's the first sentence: 'Once you and Julia was out of the hospital, you demanded to go home.' Besides the grammatical errors, there are so many things wrong with this sentence. Why were we in the hospital? Who are you even talking to? What is going on here?

You should probably provide some more info in the story, plus some more information about these powers and how you're getting them, since not everyone reads the description, and add some backstory while you're at it.

This story has so much potential, but it needs some work. 3/8.
-- abchiaramonte on 12/5/2018 12:15:57 AM with a score of 0
Grammar and spelling, bad they are. Waste of time, felt like it did. On purpose, is this speech.
-- lonewarriorjs on 2/16/2017 2:42:53 AM with a score of 0
It was fun, I got the best ending, and is very suspensful. It does not really give much info though. Nice]
-- DRAKERLORD on 11/26/2016 3:38:14 PM with a score of 0
found the canon ending
-- jacorossi17 on 7/3/2015 7:26:15 PM with a score of 0
Grammar mistakes. Shitty
-- EternalDeath on 6/18/2015 4:55:07 PM with a score of 0
i liked it...when is the squeal coming
-- dragon396 on 6/16/2015 3:35:47 PM with a score of 0
The sudden end was kind of abrupt. I guess you could have made it longer. But I guess it's slightly more fun than homework, what can I say?
-- At_Your_Throat on 6/16/2015 2:54:56 PM with a score of 0
Bwahaha! The mutants are my army and I will rule this city with an iron fist!
-- Mardox on 6/15/2015 6:45:20 PM with a score of 0
Nice work. I really liked the storyline and wish it was longer. I agree with Will by the fact that the story has very few grammar errors (except for the Canon ending after clicking the text 'Two months later' if you read at the top of the screen it says 'Ontario, Canada. One year later'). Overall nice story, slightly weird plot and well done for proof reading. :)
-- Gumpy93 on 6/15/2015 9:17:40 AM with a score of 0
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