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Just lost a duel. Fire vs. Gun

Fire can melt the metal gun.

Fire can be used to start an ignition of a gun (old-fashioned anyways like a flint) and thus should have superiority over the gun.

Fire can burn the gunholder.

Yet gun beats fire because "gun fires?"

Because of some goddamn shitty wordplay, I lost five very valuable points. And it gets worse.

"Air evaporates water."

No, that's heat. Air can't do that.

"Dragon commands devil."

What sense is this?

"Dynamite smoke blots out sun."

What? God damn, that's stupid.

"Fire beats moon because of campfire by moonlight."

How does this indicate superiority?

"Lightning defuses nuke."

Not sensibly.

"Scissors sharper than axe."

Dafu-?

"Women subdues dragon."

"Wolf outruns dynamite."

"Sponge looks like moon."

"Tree imprisons devil."

RPS is so full of shit.

"Bowl drowns dragon." Like what.

I mean, it never guaranteed that it'd be a big dragon.

<3

Puns are 10 times as powerful as science. It is known.

Evaporated water becomes part of the air.

The Dragon in revelations is literally the devil, which commands all demons, whereas the devil in RPS seems to be mostly "Devil" in the technical sense, synonymous with demons, since cockroaches make men devils.

Haven't you ever seen a big dynamite gunfight wild west movie? Do you honestly think you'll be seeing the sun in the midst of that shit?

Fire By Moonlight, by rules of wordplay, can also imply that the moon is responsible for the fire. It is this particular fire's creator and superior.

Without certain electrical signals, nukes cannot be launched, they're just sat there. If lightning shorted out that electricity, the nuke would never fire without repair.

Axes don't need to be as sharp to cut flesh effectively. Scissors, on the other hand, are sharp by necessity. They have to be sharp if you're, say, duelling a living person with it. Therefore, a scissors can hold its edge better and bite further into the axe blade upon parrying. You might not win the battle, but your weapon will be in better shape than their worn old axe.

Women have often been said to subdue dragons. This is an ancient trope. Everything from the fairy tales where dragons were said to have a compulsive need for treasure and maidens to the scaly porn of today knows that humanoid women are a bizarrely craved thing among dragons for things other than food.

Wolves can accelerate to 30 mph in seconds, run for several miles, hop over most natural obstacles, and easily find nooks and crannies to hide in. The average person who throws dynamite could maybe get a to go 23 miles per hour for 15 feet  in one direction. If the wolf knew they needed to avoid it in the first place, by, say, being challenged to a duel by a dude who throws dynamite, they would outrun the fuck out of it.

I got nothing for that Sponge shit.

That's also a legitimate thing that happened. Don't you know how Jack'o'Lanterns were invented?

Still salty, but of course, you manage to bring up good points all around. Still, most of this is rather subjective, if not forced. I could say that Devil commands Dragon because he is the Dragon or use that same fact to justify just the opposite. Also, have you used certain brands of scissors? They can be real shit, even for cutting paper. Axes, often battle-ready, are more likely to be sharp. And honestly a kid with safety scissors in his pudgy little hands isn't gonna be able to reach past a wielded axe. But I know there's a thread somewhere about how all of these are supposed to work and how they became part of CYS legend.

The sponge thing is just damn stupid, though. Sponge looks like moon. Moon looks like sponge. Would Moon win because it's bigger, brighter, has its own gravity? Or sponge because screw logic or some contrived Spongebob joke?

These don't have to be weapon axes. Have you seen the average farmer's axe these days? All they need to be able to do is split medium branches and smack into long dead wood now that people don't just go out logging.  Axes don't need to be sharp, and the fact that, by weight alone, they pose a significant threat to a human's life, means they do not require as much quality or upkeep. Since this duel says nothing of the wielders but only the weapons, a duelling scissors by its very nature needs to be of much stronger, better quality than a duelling axe, because otherwise nobody'd use scissors to duel. The weapon would win in a fight against the weapon. If one person wielding one got into a fight with another, the scissors would be in stronger condition no matter who wins because a damaged duelling scissors is hardly still scissors.

True. But who uses scissors, anyways, amirite?

Kindergarteners.

The thread was actually more lively than I expected it to be (I initially just meant for it to be a rant), so I'll bother posing a few questions: What mechanics of RPS do you to be the strangest/ most advantageous/ most crippling/ most interesting? Any favorite choices out there?