Quick heads up rearding these two parts from your storygame description:
'After a few hours, you and your friends participate in a gruesome killing game called Love Sick'
'in.... LOVE SICK!'
Love SICK is a storygame that already exists, and I can pretty much guarantee you will disappoint people as they will not have the expectation you expect them to have when they start reading your story...
Anyway, you can also get feedback in the Writing Workshop forums, so feel free to stop by there. At any rate, good like making storygames, it is a lot more work than you might initially expect btw, tho it can be made a lot easier with clever use of scripting/variables (I feel learning how to use them might help with what you are going for, but then again I don't know for sure what you are going for).
TL;DR
Browse the site a bit, good way to learn some handy things. Good luck writing.