7/28/2015

4/17/2021 7:55 PM

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0 wins / 1 loss

Architect

My attempts at explaining variables/scripting haven't been the best, so I wanted to keep it simple. It's good though, means I can save the words for actual projects. Now, if only ambitious projects weren't so damn alluring...

Don't worry about reading my post, it is much less useful than your one (but I pointed at some storygames, that's something!). Using javascript might not be as horrible as it seems, since it being popular means there are plenty of learning resources out there. It def is more effort tho.

Variables just hold a number.

You can create them under the 'variables' tab with the 'Create New Variable' button. You can also create variables by declaring them when using scripting. They exist separate to the pages, and you can use them in scripting or (more likely) making link restrictions (i.e. needing STR = 1 to pick a choice).

With that said, scripting doesn't need to be used, as mentioned you can make something where you just use variables and link restrictions (to have delayed consequences or stat based choices).

Also, under 'Storygame Properties' there is 'Editor Features', here you can click '[change editor features]' and crank everything up to the most complicated (that way you have access to everything). Doing this on a new storygame and trying to mess around with stuff might be a good idea. I know messing around in a test storygame helped me figure out some things.

Otherwise, most scripting articles are alright, and if something isn't well explained, you can ask a question in the advanced editor forums and someone should have an answer. I think if you've figured out the CoG system you should be able to figure this one out too.

The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost is a CoG style game, you'll even see it has a stats page link! (Implementing new buttons is more complicated tho, but again, people can help with that).

You can see how it uses variables so that might help give you some idea of what you can do.

Dungeon Stompage! also shows some of what the editor can do, but making something at this level shouldn't be the goal for every story (but if your story requires it, it is possible!).

Koi Koi! is a more recent example that makes heavy use of the editor to create the game of Koi Koi, which is insane.

Suffice to say, you can have a choice 'do 1 push up' and have that increase the %STREGNTH variable by 1.

I wouldn't consider dialogue punctuation mistakes as 'struggling', aha. It is a very common mistake, so I assume it just isn't taught well. I know I only learnt to do it right once I had it pointed out here. So do take a look at that article when you have some time, it isn't too long (or I can try to give you a tl;dr). Repetition is a neat tool that can have annoying results, but I think you used it well! The short sentences were good too, and helped keep the scene tight and tense, which is what you want. Those plusses far outweigh the dialogue punctuation mistakes!

As Mizal mentioned, nice hook.

I liked the pace for this too.

I will say that the coughing blood thing reminded me of some satirical thing I saw that poked fun at that trope (since coughing blood is generally a very bad sign...but not in fiction!).

Technicalities

Writing is looking good too, but what I did notice was some issues with dialogue punctuation (probably since you had some shorter sentences this time around).

e.g.

• “This is yummy, must be since I got two of my most favorite people here an stuffs.” Billy said with a slightly crooked smile.

Should have a comma at the end of the dialogue:

• “This is yummy, must be since I got two of my most favorite people here an stuffs,” Billy said with a slightly crooked smile.

Here's a link to Gower's article: http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=4309

But getting used to this can be a bit annoying, so feel free to ask any questions (I just feel I shouldn't ramble about it...but I certainly can, if it might help!).

Another example:

• “I should kill you for corrupting him.” Ereriel practically snarled out.

Should also be a comma:

• “I should kill you for corrupting him,” Ereriel practically snarled out.

You also missed a space before the first capitalised 'NO' here: “No.NO. NO. NO!”, but now I'm just nit-picking, lol.

I did like the images this scene conveyed, so none of the above ended up being a detriment in that regard.

Looking forward to more!

You can use html!

Where 'link' is a link to the image you're posting (so an imgur link if you uploaded it there).

If your image is big, you can add an extra thing to make it smaller.

This will restrict its size. You can edit your post quickly if you notice the image is poorly sized.

So, what confuses me here is that the wizard is capable of creating an ice bridge (with ice magic) and then melting it (with fire magic). Can't he just freeze/burn the bear? Does he feel like killing a bear is morally dubious?

Anyway, doing puzzles that are solved with fire & ice can be a fun gimmick.

To avoid rambling, I'd say think about:

• The Wizard's Motivation.
  Why is he traveling the world? Is there a destination? How you answer this can give you some idea of where to put puzzles (and maybe what kind, too).
• Types of Puzzles.
  Your example makes it seem like the puzzles will be trying to solve conflicts with logic (using the magic). If that's right, just think of more conflicts based on where the wizard is going, and see what solutions you can come up with.
• Magic System.
  There are lots of ways to handle magic, but generally consider if there are limitations and what they might be. Having the reader know what the limitations are can help inform their choices when trying to solve puzzles, but you knowing the limitations can also help you come up with the puzzles.

Regarding examples, I'll leave it up to more creative folk. Mizal's idea is certainly not an obvious one, aha.

Having weeks/months pass in a sentence or so can work, 'realistic portrayal of time' is only going to matter for a specific kind of story, but generally isn't required (and can easily kill pacing). Open book exams! I will say what you've described does sound better than having to play through multiple hours worth of exam questions, aha. Sounds good. Inaccessible philosophical concepts can still be used if you want, as having to be 'accessible' isn't required, it just worth being aware of. Even if certain things are hard to understand for some readers, they'd still be able to understand other parts, and if you somehow write a story that cannot be understood at all except by certain readers...that'd still be interesting to have exist (and try to read, lol). With that said, what you've written in that paragraph does sound promising. Dialogue punctuation is a crazy common mistake. Doing it right is good since you can control flow and meaning better. Saving the changes for later (when proofreading) is good. When I first changed to punctuate dialogue like that, it looked weird to me, even if books were written like that. As for that last point, I think Gower means original as in the thing you're quoting, not original as in fiction you made up. In fiction, you make up what you're quoting, so the original sentence is fiction. But if I'm quoting my bus driver, the original thing I'm quoting is what he said (even if it isn't fiction). You could ask him tho, I believe Gower has accepted his fate of being burden by knowledge that ought to be shared (and by his PhD), so I'm sure he'd be happy to clarify.

I think there's a way to use JavaScript instead (tho I might be wrong).