Zake, The Dramatist
'ello! I am Zake. Welcome to my profile.
Writing is fun, hard, and interesting.
Feel free to message me.
Some sites that may be worth reading, especially the first:
P.S. Profile picture appears to be a shrunk version of this artwork, by Deviantart MenasLG. I think someone else resized it, because I doubt I would've known how to when I first found it on google (but I can't seem to find it anymore, so maybe it was I who resized it).
Recent PostsCYS Discord: Now with flying cars! on 1/28/2020 5:00:18 AM
Paper's please you say? Uh, sure... (crap, I think this library card might've expired, best not mention that).
Discord User: Zero118#6709P.S. I hear people like maps. Forgive the lack of mountains and trees.
What are we reading now? on 1/14/2020 10:47:03 PM
Legacy on 1/12/2020 2:59:16 AM
Aussie Roll Call on 1/10/2020 6:25:18 PM
Aussie Roll Call on 1/9/2020 7:23:33 PM
Arising from the dead- Hello! on 1/2/2020 2:07:34 AM
A common writing mistake is not doing dialogue punctuation correctly. There is actually a site article about it now, so reading it is worthwhile (even if just to confirm you are doing it right, if you already are).
Other than that, when writing branching narratives, things tend to get out of hand rather easily, which means starting small is generally encouraged (if you lack prior experience). Otherwise, just be mindful of the scope if you do go for an epic right away (but be warned that this is generally unsuccessful).
For the site, you just want to keep in mind that only finished works should be published. If you want to share unfinished stuff you can set the storygame to sneak preview, which will allow people to access it without it being published. Good way to get feedback.
Other than that, if you annoy someone they'll likely let you know, so just learn from it and you should be fine. That is, of course, assuming you don't do something extra stupid that warrants an immediate ban, but judging by this post of yours, I am hopeful that you won't (so this last part shouldn't be too much of a concern for you).
Regardless, welcome back from the dead. Enjoy what time you've got now.
Time Travel Game Sneak Preview [Recursion Theory] on 12/19/2019 6:14:09 PM
New Guy! on 12/17/2019 6:15:37 PM
It is worth keeping in mind that branching narratives can get out of hand a lot more easily than linear stories, so being aware of the scope of what you're writing can be extra useful. Also, don't be afraid to cut down on things if the story starts becoming unwieldy. Planning things out might be helpful.
However, I don't really want to tell you how to write, because there are many ways that work, and you just want to find what's best for you. With that said, if you haven't written much before, don't be afraid to experiment and try different things.
How to Write
Other than that, dialogue punctuation is something many people get wrong, so brushing up on it is a good idea (even if you think you do it right, because the rules aren't the most obvious thing). Here is a site article on it: Dialogue Punctuation.
Actually, there are a few articles under the Help & Info section which deal with the actual writing, so looking through them might be beneficial.
Another piece of general advice is to read. Reading stories on the site is a good way to get a feel for the expected quality. Reading linear books by professionals is also good, and pay attention to the writing when you do, as most published books have editors (I assume) so they are punctuated and written correctly. Or don't pay attention, learning through osmosis should still work!
Main things regarding the site are that:
- Stories split into parts are generally frowned upon, demos especially so, so know that publishing is for finished works! Sneak preview can let people see unfinished works. (Though do note multi-part stories can exist, however each part should be capable of standing on its own).
- This ties in with the previous point, but some writing sites encourage users to publish piece by piece (i.e. chapter by chapter). That is not the case here.
- This may be 'just a forum', but taking care to capitlise your i's and names is worth doing, because it is a writing forum (you're good on this front though).
Also, consider backing up your work, as it is good practice. (I think it might have gotten fixed, but the editor was capable of timing out, which means work could be lost. You could mostly avoid this by saving to clipboard [copying] whatever you had written before hitting save).
I'll stop there because I think I mentioned enough things. Other people can fill in any gaps for things I missed. If there is anything that isn't clear just ask and I should be able to explain it better.
Other than that, welcome!
Time Travel Game Sneak Preview [Recursion Theory] on 12/17/2019 12:11:26 AM
Just gonna put some general things, but you definitely seem to be going well, which is nice to see.
The writing looks pretty good to me, so I'll just mention the things that stood out to me (thought some might just be style differences):
- “Sorry, I think we’re in front of the wrong building, but the right one isn’t far on foot – follow me – now ..is it ..okay, I think it’s to the west, just this way..” | Ellipses are supposed to be three dots, but all these are two. You used three earlier, too, so I'll go with this being an oversight?
- ("A lot of distinguished lecturers host their conferences here," Sara explained. "It's designed to appear very welcoming.") | Having dialogue inside parenthesis is interesting to me, but as I generally avoid them in fiction writing, I can't comment on if the usage is correct or not (but I can say that it isn't annoying me, as their usage is sometimes prone to do).
Mirror, Mirror, what does the Notebook say?
Does our protagonist have a phone on him? He should totally take a photo of the creepy notebook and transform it in whatever way is necessary. Crystal does have a phone, so if being seen with something that isn't yours isn't weird, could even ask to borrow hers. Anyway, figured I'd mention this, because I find phones to be pretty useful and that their functionality is sometimes overlooked in written works (too early to tell here though, and lets not forget reasons can be given for their minimal usage).
Also dammit! I went to the washroom, there is a mirror there (probably)! Seems I'm more interested in this book than the protagonist, but we'll see if his attitude changes when the looping begins...
Speaking of the looping, it seems to be handled well, in that it is interesting so far. Greying out duplicate text is a great idea too, so I commend you for that, but it does make me worry you'll use it later on with new text as some sort of meta breaking device (but hey, I shouldn't worry... not yet at least).
Just wanted to say that this is an interesting name.
I hit the back button a few times, nothing seemed to break, figured I'd mention it. Everything else seemed to work as well, but I didn't test every possibility (although doing that can be a poor way to test, depending on how many combinations exist, especially for looping games).
Would using the extension make this easier to hack? As brute-forcing seems like a waste of time...
That aside, I'd not mention that it is a five digit passcode, just so that it is more secure (although depending on how it is coded, mentioning it or not might not matter).
The main thing would be having more to read, as nothing really happened yet... you know, barring introductions and the beginning of the looping. What is there has a good pace to it, and while it seems to be on the linear side it is handled in a way that keeps it engaging (as there are still choices, but how impactful they are I cannot say, considering you're using variables).
What I'm trying to say is, keep writing, you're doing good. How good the final story will be, however, depends on how it all fits together, which I can't really comment on, but I can say that at the very least you can end up with a well-written story, assuming the writing quality doesn't nosedive.
Peeps who are put off by the length shouldn't worry, what can be reached isn't that long (unless I missed some path, which is possible), so you should also give some feedback.
Year's End Contest - Choose Your Own Prompt II on 12/9/2019 5:34:11 AM