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I want to make a short film about a really tough underground poker game that goes south, and fake kung fu is involved. I need props and shit.

Which is more intimidating, Tea Shades or an Eye Patch? What sort of character traits do you automatically associate with these? We already have both, so this is just going to determine which character wears which.

One guy's going to flick open a swiss army knife, one guy's going to pull out a bigger kitchen knife, the next guy will pull out a Crocodile Dundee knife, and then the guy after that will leave the room and come back with a double-handed meat cleaver. Thing is, the average beef splitter will set you back about $300 USD. Is this gag worth it, or should I just get something big and dangerous-looking from a hardware store and save myself the trouble? Making a fake Beef Splitter would look pretty gay imo.

Our crocodile dundee knife is going to be one of those freaky-looking ham carvers that look like little Dao swords/Pointed Machetes. I know my uncle has one, probably, but he's from forever away, so we'll have to figure out what they're called. What are they called? And, if possible, could you find a fancy-looking one and a cheap-looking one so I can compare?

Where's the best place to buy taxidermy eyes for non-mammals? I'm seriously considering using googly eyes because that would probably look more endearing on this "character" but I'd like to know my options.

Are dog collars naturally round, or can I get them to fit around a stuffed leather fish's neck without squeezing it too hard? Does it depend on the collar? Which kind in general would fit around a flat, sort of eliptical neck?

Can you use a regular tobacco pipe as a bubble pipe without ruining it?  What sort of bubble formula is nice to laminated plasticwood or whatever the fuck pipes are made of?

Are fancy umbrellas or fancy canes more intimidating? What sort of character traits do you associate with it? Just like the last question that did this, we already have both, it's just going to determine who starts with what and who uses what in the final battle.

What's a really powerful Magic: The Gathering creature that can be cast entirely using White, Green, Red, and/or Blue mana?

No prize? No compliment? Bullshit!

The Lounge has long been a place to ask lengthy sets of questions, Minnie. Just because Steve offered a reward once doesn't mean you get to be spoiled millenial filth. This is the kind of shit that easy-mode egg hunts will do to a child! What kind of world do we live in these days where showing off knowledge and opinions isn't even a reward in itself anymore!?

The kind of world where you can get famous for posting a fuckin' meme on instagram.

Wait, that happened? When did that happen? Why did they allow this to happen!?

Yes. Idk. "They," are fucktards.

>I'd say an eyepatch. You've lost an eye, and you're still truckin' around? Surely not to be messed with.

>Fork over the money, or get something big and impressive. Either is cool.

>I could try, but I'm sure you're better at finding what you want.

>No idea where to buy that mess. Googly eyes are the way to go.

>It depends on the collar. I'm sure you can make it work.

>No idea. Try experimenting with soaps and liquids to make your own bubble formula.

>Both are classy in my opinion, but no one wants to look like a dolt carrying around an umbrella when it's not particularly sunny or raining. Also, I think you could beat someone with a cane easier than with an umbrella.

>Not too sure, but a nature titan or whatever with giant growth applied should work.

> Do you have any thoughts on the Lennons, though? Does it depend more on context in that case?

> We're considering using a weed popper for the big weapon. Which is good, because that means we'll actually be able to choreograph "fatalities" in a believable way. We don't have the budget to split people in half, but we do have the budget to "Uproot" the viscera of a downed foe.

> Okay.

> We'll probably just cut up a belt, on second thought. Those fit different shapes.

> BUT CHEMISTRY IS HARD!

> I think the deal with an umbrella is that you're supposed to stab, parry, and bamboozle your opponent with it. It's a little too soft for bludgeoning. Compared to hard stuff like a cane, anyway.

> That might work, honestly. The original plan was for a guy to encourage everyone to put their black chips in, and then reveal that he had a pair of Drifting Shades, thus making them both 30/30 and higher than all the other cards, but then we realized our poker set didn't have any black chips...

Yes, or any combination therein.

You motherfucker, taking interest away from my questionnaire. Eat a dick. Like a big, hard one.

You got a response from every Tom, Dick and Mary on the site, and you didn't even need to compliment half of them. Don't be a greedy answer-whore!

Unrelated question, but I figured I was already asking about violent shit and there are bikers in this movie. Bikers use Maglites as weapons. That's a well-known thing, right? It's about as classic a biker thing to do as whipping people with chains or growing a beard.

When you smack somebody with a giant Maglite, are you supposed to use the handle or the light as the hitting end? The light has curves and edges and stuff, and it's pretty unlikely to break, so it's more likely to hit an edge and focus all that force on one spot, like an elbow does. On the other hand, the handle of the maglite is a lot more solid and hefty, giving you a presumably harder smack, but compromised range because it's harder to grip the light itself, so you ought to not bother and just hold onto the other end of the handle.

Ideally you'd be holding the handle proper and hit them with the light end. The natural swing and comfort of your grip just works better that way.

Would strapping bits of scrap to make it into a mace help or hurt its performance? I'm thinking it might cause more serious wounds, but it's a heavy enough weapon already that getting it stuck in clothes or flesh might be a serious hinderance if you wanna hit 'em more than once. There's gore effects I'm considering trying out with that, but we'll probably be able to use them at other parts of the movie without it.

Unless you've got experience in metal welding, it doesn't seem that advantageous to just start sticking sharp bits on to a Maglight and potentially ruining it, since presumably you still want to use it for its intended purpose which is as a flashlight. 

If you're intending to just use it as a club, you might as well just get a police baton/cudgel or better yet a baseball bat so you can stick spikey bits to it.

Well, I was thinking something like sharp bits of whatever sort of strapped onto it with those aluminum zip-tie things. Temporary flanges that stand a good chance of snapping off into the body, if anything, crippling the target if they keep flexing the stabbed muscles. Or really any attachments that could be removed if the Fuzz shows up, since the reason Bikers use stuff like wrenches and chains and flashlights is so they can drive over state/county lines and get pulled over without having conspicuous weapons.