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Hi folks!

I've just published my first storygame: http://chooseyourstory.com/Story/The_End_of_Your_Life.aspx

I've seen stories on this site that just leave me in absolute awe, and I know I can't write anywhere on that level, but if you could find time to read it I'd appreciate if you could leave a comment with your thoughts just the same. It would help me to know if anyone enjoyed it or if there's any obvious thing I need to focus on to improve.

Just a note: you will die a lot. That's by design, the main character starts off in a very dangerous and unfair situation.

Well there are definitely things that can be improved, and I'm just not fond of these style of stories where you die over and over until you find the path the author wanted you to take. But at least here the deaths are making sense so far.

I will say though that this was more interactive than at least half the games entered into a major IF competition this year, and more interestingly written than several of them I saw, so at least you've got that going for you.

Well I'll take that all as mostly a good thing, and I hope you'll be able to leave a comment on the story later.

I know it could be better, my writing ability is just nowhere near some of the other authors here. It was supposed to be a much bigger story a couple of friends were going to help me with, but they never got started on their segments so I just worked in the main endings from some of what we planned.