Conquest: Chapter I

Player Rating3.56/8

"#626 overall, #46 for 2011"
based on 211 ratings since 07/06/2011
played 2,855 times (finished 238)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

The beginning of the Conquest series. A Serious/Minorly Humerous game of the Arts of magic, war, and more. You play as the average disturbed child who always had that spark of magic in them, who's mom is dead and father is too damn busy to give a shit about anything. You want something to do, and you think of the thing you have wanted since you began to think of that sort of thing, Taking over the land of Nul. My first adventure game. (Warning, MANY ways to die.)

Player Comments

Spoiler alert! Some of the following lines may spoiler you for the upcoming storygame.

First I want to tell you that plot wise I really like what you did. The endings all made sense and would ultimately lead to the same events just from three different perspectives. Or two guessing the searcher end and the other one where you don't meet the female demon could lead to the same path.

The biggest problem with this game is the fact that it's so short. It is only just the beginning of a potentially great story. But it is just a chapter of a book. Like reading just the prologue of a story, deciding to never read it to the end. That is really a shame because this has a lot of potential to be a fantastic story.

I did not notice any grammatical errors, but I'm no native speaker so that means basically I can't be sure there are none.

The pages weren't too well described. I did not get a lot of an Idea how my surroundings looked like, but the dialogues and the characters themselves seemed quite fascinating and made me want to read more.

The death with the looking for a job however seems awfully random. Why would someone kill me for looking at a gem?

It was good, but much to short and lacking most of the actual plot. 4/8 for the so far captivating story and interesting plot.
-- LJacko on 2/28/2020 5:11:36 AM with a score of 0
There's many good things about this storygame that made it very enjoyable, but there were also a few downsides.

One thing I did not like was that it was another chapter one with no chapter two or three or anything. Please, publish a complete storygame, because I want to know what happened and how it really ended, and not just part of a storygame.

Like October said, I liked how there were multiple endings, because it's a nice change of pace to have branching and actual choices in a storygame.

The length was nothing special, but there were quite a number of links and pages and there was quite a bit of writing.

However, I did not like how it was a bit linear. Sometimes I was a bit cofused because it was hard to understand what was going on with the transitions from one event to another.

4/&.
-- MinnieKing on 3/21/2017 8:48:34 PM with a score of 0
I like that you've included multiple endings in this storygame, and choices that lead to different outcomes. This is how storygames should be, however unfortunately it's not always the case on CYS.

With that said, there was a lot wrong with this.

The grammar is dodgy. To give just one example, in the sentence, "There was a Great War that once plagued the land when it was once worth something, now its like the giant version of a New York allyway, nothing but trouble." you use "its" instead of "it's", misspell "alleyway", and use the word "once" twice. You also capitalise "Great War" and refer to it as "a Great War" rather than "the Great War", suggesting that a Great War is a name (like World War II for example) rather than a description of a big war - this is okay, but you proceed to not give any details about this Great War, which leads me to my next point.

You leave a lot unexplained. What happened in the Shayr War? Who are all these characters you're introducing?

The choices sometimes lead to unexpected and unlikely consequences. Clicking on "get a job" gets you killed for looking at a gem. How is the reader meant to foresee this happening?

Finally, what is a car doing in a fantasy storygame?
-- October on 3/3/2013 1:14:14 PM with a score of 0
First of all, the story is incomplete, and the endings don't even feel like a complete chapter.
The descriptions are functional, but rather barebones and don't give much insight as to what's going on or what choice to pick. For example, the part where it says, "There are people fighting in an alleyway and you think you might go join them," seems a bit off. What's my reasoning here? What reason do I have to get into a fight?
What's more, when you click the "get a job" link at the beginning, it's an instant death. If you didn't want that to be an option, you could have eliminated that choice altogether and spent more time developing the first page.
I do like the optional information branches, but there wasn't exactly enough lore to warrant those. The "half the page is burnt off and you can't see the rest" was a clever trick, though I do want to know why you're reading a summary of your parents in book format.
Judging by the presence of a truck in the story, I assume this is set closer to modern times, which could have been a cool take had you explored it a little bit more.
In terms of characterization there was basically none.
The spelling was pretty good and the grammar was okay, though I did notice a few awkward phrases and run-on sentences.
Overall, I think this is a story with a lot of potential, but a lack of effort made it fall flat.
-- Cupcakitty__13 on 12/10/2020 12:09:58 PM with a score of 0
I got searcher ending first try!
-- ArtsyGirl38 on 2/4/2020 8:14:21 AM with a score of 0
Hard, but rewording.
-- LittleWich on 11/30/2019 11:05:45 PM with a score of 0
Searcher Ending (First Try)
-- Buweh on 10/2/2019 4:48:07 AM with a score of 0
Has the basis for an interesting story, but lasts like 5 minutes. Would rather have a complete saga or long chapter than this little background info excerpt. I did get the searcher ending, wasn't too hard. Really just left me feeling incomplete everything was short with little detail, couldn't get into it much.
-- Zdudezy on 5/12/2017 6:43:38 AM with a score of 0
Really inventive make 2 now
-- Jacob on 3/30/2017 1:08:55 AM with a score of 0
The back story and era needs a little working on. There's little description, but I suppose the story is okay.
-- Crescentstar on 6/28/2016 11:54:56 AM with a score of 0
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