In The Deep Of Night

Player Rating5.27/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 34 ratings since 01/22/2017
played 233 times (finished 38)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length6/8

"It'll be a while, better grab a SnickersĀ®"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

A man on the edge of civilization, haunted by memories, journeys into the darkness of the forest in search of a monster; for in the deep of night, an evil creature hunts.

 

(Submitted For January's "A New Frontier" Writing Contest)

Player Comments

A good stretch of this story proved quite linear, and some of the choices really had no bearing on the plot.

You spent an awful lot of words on the breakfast scene but nothing of importance to the story happened. While it was written well, it didn't add anything to the plot, it didn't develop any characters, and it didn't advance the story. I would have rather seen you use these words to work on more branching pathways or something else that advanced the actual story.

In places, I felt you feel into spats of over-writing, but overall, I thought the writing was generally pretty good.

It was evident that you put considerable thought and time into this. Though the story could have used more variation and substance on plot-focused pathways.
-- Bucky on 1/24/2017 3:42:39 PM
Interesting read and I'm on the fence about commending it.

There are some really good things about this story. Namely, the author is excellent at painting a picture and at evoking emotion. I loved the description of preparing a meal and I really felt like I understood the cabin intimately. I thought the setting was well established and more so, naturally established! It was rare to be introduced to a story set in the past so well. Additionally, the author put some effort into writing a good plot, but I'll talk more about that next.

That said, there were a few substantial distractors too. First and foremost, there were a number of very noticeable grammatical mistakes. I would recommend that the author spends more time proofreading their story, particularly with the intention of pruning for missing or extraneous commas and more generally, for flow. This story was also rather linear until the very end, where a number of similar endings were presented. My biggest gripe was with the plot. This felt like a run-of-the-mill horror film complete with the unimportant side character whose sole purpose is to fill in plot details and a very predictable twist (though it could have been worse).

Overall, this was an enjoyable read and I'm glad that it was published but I would urge the author to spend more time proofreading and to leverage the medium better.
-- JJJ-thebanisher on 1/23/2017 12:17:43 AM
This was a good read, especially since I'm considering writing a werewolf story myself. The imagery and emotions you conjured were really well done.

It was awfully linear - at one point I actually had to click through 6-7 long stretches of text with no decisions and where little of impact happened. There were a few key decisions but I feel there could be more. The "twist" at the end didn't really move me, though...and the ending was rather unfulfilling. Perhaps there's a better ending.

It did keep me reading, however, and was rather captivating overall.
-- Saika on 3/8/2017 1:18:55 PM
This was good, well written and captivating. I wish it were longer though since it took so much to set the scene and get us to know the main character.
-- jcury on 2/25/2017 12:10:58 PM
Great story. Nice length, doesn't feel linear, the words are spaced out nicely to give it a sort of poetic feel, has a moral dilemma, and is presented nicely. The only issue I can find is that you explained too much on the wrong subjects. A little less words in another area could really help.
-- Anonymous on 1/29/2017 3:55:05 PM
This was excellent: great atmospheric writing and an interesting plot, well drawn characters and good emotive settings, the writing in this story particularly stands out as being of exceptional quality. I agree with 3J the plot wasn't unfamiliar but the writing really brought it alive and made this little story a very enjoyable read :D
-- Will11 on 1/23/2017 8:16:47 AM
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