a Fantasy Adventure by Steve24833

Commended by JJJ-thebanisher on 2/9/2017 8:46:44 PM

Player Rating5.88/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 54 ratings since 02/09/2017
played 888 times (finished 55)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length8/8

"Even light has to break at the rest stop"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

There is a prophecy that one day, the barrier between reality and that which lies beyond will weaken. That day the great Mol'Chu will come forth, for it has its infinite eyes set upon this realm. It will drive all creatures to the realms of insanity and torment. However, the prophecy also tells of a great hero who will rise up, and the fate of the world will lie in his hands.

You are not that hero. You are a Ratling, your blood as weak as can be, your lineage one of thieves and cowards. Still, with your path there's a chance for betterment. You might be able to lift yourself up and find yourself some power in this world. Power you will wield. 

Thanks to WouldntItBeNice for beta-reading this, she was a great help. This is my longest storygame so far and I've decided to delve into some fantasy again. Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy!

Player Comments

In short, this was a great journey. Prophecy had well crafted locations, lore, and interesting events to keep your attention and the digital pages turning. There's also a substantial amount of content, and it kept my attention for the whole 3.5 hours it took to go through every route I could find (~12 epilogues). Prophecy has a good number of things going in its favor, and a few that are not.

(minor spoilers)

//Things that work well

The substantial and varied locales you visit in order to get the plot coupons are fun to picture in your head
The intricate descriptions of a number of settings, the opening is particularly well detailed
The backstories and lore are intriguing, though not as prominent as they could have been
A couple of the characters (Mira and Dikiz) were well written and had their own depth, which were expanded upon in their routes
The ogre side story towards the end
//Things I have mixed feelings about

The romances changed a fair bit of the flavor text throughout the latter half of the journey, and they were wittily written. However, one or two of the endings (if you had a romantic partner) came across as a bit jarring
The larger story arc driving the adventurers was interesting in its resolution, but perhaps could have had a bit more foreshadowing. The ideas the arc touched on were interesting though.
The endings were varied, however I felt that a bit more meat to them would have been appreciated (they often felt more brief than they needed be)

//Things that didn't work

It was entirely possible to miss story critical information in situations where you only had time to talk to one party member, leading to confusion as to where a certain choice was hinted at.
The linearity - outside of three decision choices, and one boxers vs briefs clothing choice there were very few things that you could do that didn't kill you AND affected the story in a meaningful way down the line.
Decision making - there were a number of occasions where you would have two or three choices, and honestly not much information to help you choose the right decision (the others would usually leave you dead). More information would be appreciated
The token minorities - you go around picking up followers like a stamp collector, and always one at a time. That cliche slightly taxed my willing suspension of disbelief
Consequentiality from certain actions felt lacking
Typos - There were many, however I look forward to them being patched out
The voice - this one I take particular issue with. The author often would have his characters engage in tirades or mouth off at something, but the wording used was distinctly modern, and highly unlikely to have been appropriate in the setting it was displayed in. This was a pretty strong immersion breaker, and would benefit from being written with more fantasy contextual insults
(/minor spoilers)

While it may look like there were more negatives than positives, that would not be a correct assessment. The author is a seasoned writer and knows how to build an epic story that keeps you engaged. Prophecy is a great work, perhaps not the greatest, but I'd gladly recommend it as a great experience.
-- StrykerL on 2/10/2017 12:00:38 AM with a score of 0
I’ll try to avoid spoilers here.

Well, this is a great storygame even though some guest put four 1’s into the ratings to screw with it. Anyway, this’s impressive. The story is long and took me several hours to read through. I actually never became bored with the story. Even though the storygame is very linear, there main storyline is very entertaining (and there’re many ways to die). Now, there is some branching in the plot but it does not occur immediately in the story.

I also liked your characters including your protagonist Ritz. He honestly could be a huge arse, but you gave enough options to make him a relatively decent person (or an arse) if the reader so chooses. He's probably my favorite protagonist of yours yet since he isn't necessary an unlikable bastard and he feels like a fleshed-out character with his own “personal arc”.

Redmond seemed nice, almost too nice; however, he's a paladin which sort of comes with the job. I still don't know exactly why he let Ritz come along with him. (I know he had his sword while Ritz had the necklace, yet it still seemed rather odd.) Mira was fine. She seemed to partially be in there to throw your insults. :)

Orut was the strong guy. Tilia was the hippie. Each was interesting. I only wish they were introduced into the plot sooner. Anna seemed sort of thrown into the plot only to serve a specific plot-wise purpose. She was the only character that I didn’t care much for, but she didn’t do much anyway.

Dikiz was actually my favorite character of the book. She was very childish but apparently spent a great deal of free time reading. Also, their lifespan was quite interesting for the species. Though, it did make sense from a biological perspective. She also took part in my favorite scene from the story. It was when she rolled the ball to Ritz and he rolled it back when they first met. Their conversation was rather simple and sweet (even though it was about topics that were certainly not). She seemed so innocent in a world of very non-innocent people.

I do have a few nitpicks however. There were many plot-wise parts of this storygame that I found to be somewhat similar to your previous ones. For example, Redmond reminded me of the necromancer from Path of Death while Ritz seemed like the orc. The dialogue style was sometimes reminiscent to other stories of yours; however, that isn't necessary a bad thing (since I like your dialogue style). I also feel like some of the long names (such as the mountain and the god's name) were encoded, but I couldn't figure that out. Maybe, you just felt like creating long, odd names.

Enough with the nitpicking now… Acquiring the materials needed to unlock the door could've been monotonous, but it was exciting through certain surprises that I didn’t expect. It was a pretty interesting portrayal of the classic "heroes walk around to gather stuff" trope.

Well, except for the linearity and occasional grammar error, it seemed without fault to me. Prophesy is yet another oddly amazing work by Steve.
-- WouldntItBeNice on 2/9/2017 4:01:06 PM with a score of 0
This was very fun to read and play, this was very awesome.
-- Dimas15 on 3/25/2017 8:35:22 PM with a score of 0
A great story. A must read. The writing was superb and I'm pretty happy with the life ending :)
-- Zeryr on 3/13/2017 10:59:15 PM with a score of 0
Bloody good, this continuity. Keep it up!
-- Tyrant44 on 2/28/2017 4:31:40 AM with a score of 0
Mr. Chinkrinski!!!!!!!!...

You've deserved the commendation on this one. Spectacularly amazing story with great plot! I only spotted a few grammatical errors, but that was it.

I liked how you were never the "chosen one" to start like in many generic adventures. That gets quite redundant the more it's repeated. And in the end, you still wasn't the chosen one, but you rose from the filthy rapist murderous thieving scum-of-the-fantasy-earth-appropriately-named Ratling that you are to still a Ratling, but different (hah, no spoiling). You've managed to retain the magic length and story The Path of Death has, and I absolutely thank you for providing me this experience to read a new gem of CYStia.

Lucky for you that's what I like. Much more than Reeses' Cups. 7/8.
-- AgentX on 2/25/2017 6:32:11 AM with a score of 0
I must say, that was an amazing adventure I had just embarked on. Not only was it a fascinating read, but the plot was extremely captivating with the multi-dimensional story you chose to play upon. The characters were extremely entertaining, each personality adding flavor to this game you have created. A few things you may have improved on, however, was the dialogue. I noticed an abundant amount of "_____ says," and although that is acceptable, the repetition of this was a bit distracting, and you could have developed the character and plot more thoroughly this small qualm I had.

All in all, you are a fantastic writer, I thank you for giving me such a good time with your book. Thank you for this!
-- TheTraveler on 2/20/2017 10:35:15 PM with a score of 0
I was pleasantly surprised at this, for some time now the quality of the writing, here has been horrible with crappy stories and short games. This looks almost as good as the works by BerkaZerka and EndMaster. Yes, it did have typos and yes it did have flaws but I really enjoyed it. Great work and going to go through the other works by this author.
-- John Cury on 2/19/2017 5:20:28 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story.The tourist is also the one from the path of death right? and that made the story a lot interesting. You are an excellent author dude, excited to read more stories from you.
-- futurehero97 on 2/12/2017 8:49:52 AM with a score of 0
Impressive how you manage to create so many good stories in such a small time!
-- Negative (forgot to log) on 2/11/2017 12:31:30 AM with a score of 0
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