The Duet

Player Rating4.83/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 27 ratings since 06/16/2018
played 223 times (finished 25)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.
This's an indirect sequel to my storygame Solstice. You don't need to play it to understand this one. I did have fun writing this. I've been meaning to return to Hawthorn School for nearly two years.

You never got along with her well. Cerise acts very abrasive. For the past few weeks, she's been raving about the talent show for your middle school. It's a big deal. Parents come in to see their kids perform, a rare opportunity to show off when you hardly ever see them. And Cerise likes to show off, a lot. The day before the talent show, you're confused. Why is she hiding behind a tree crying?

If you're wondering what the piece Jesus bleibet meine Freude sounds like when it's mentioned in the story, here's an audio file.

EDIT: I fixed the grammar errors that I could find. Also, the jacket choice does matter. One of them opens up a choice for you later on that wouldn't be there otherwise.

EDIT #2: I had a hilariously unfortunate error. Essentially, I had a wrong link that caused 60% of the story to be skipped yet still seemed logical enough to not throw off the readers. Shoot. Well, that's fixed now.

Player Comments

I liked the story itself, but there were a few things that I felt were lacking. I can't tell if this is supposed to be a Middle School or a High School, or perhaps it is a big enough boarding school to house both? At one point the main character revisits a memory of Cerise when she was in eighth grade, so I am assuming both characters are currently in High School.

The story itself is written mostly informal and there are quite a few typo errors in it. For example, there are multiple instances where you meant to write the word 'your' and instead wrote 'you'. Things like that mostly. The parts of the story where you actually wrote out descriptions are written more formal and have a really nice flow to them, I wish that had been present throughout the entire story instead of just a few places. The informal style of writing itself suites the setting of the story, but the way it seems to switch back and forth makes it a little difficult to set one particular mood for it.

I would have also liked to see more backstory to this. It is very clear that Cerise has abandonment issues, but it is stated that the main character himself is also left at the school year round and does not see his parents. Why is it that he feels no abandonment issues at all? Why is he left there even during the summer? Who is Mags and what was her purpose? I played through several times and there is only one scene that I found with her in it. There are so many questions left unanswered that could have provided a deeper, more cohesive story if they had been covered in it.

Another thing I am unsure of is why the main character even cares about her. Until the end of the story, Cerise is very rude and childishly mean to Taylor. I feel like it would have been easier to sympathize with her character if Taylor's own backstory and abandonment at the boarding school had been more fleshed out. Showing their similarities at a deeper level than just that the two of them are left there even during the summer time would have helped achieve that.

All that being said, it really is a nice story. I wish it had been longer as the ending felt rather abrupt and only two choices felt like they really effected the story at all. But, there were two separate paths and endings that I found after playing it a few times. The descriptive parts were lovely and drew me into the story and the characters mostly acted appropriately for what I assume are their ages (14-15).

I give it a 4/8 currently, but would raise the rating to 5/8 if the typos are fixed.
-- simplesabley on 9/18/2018 7:54:05 PM with a score of 888
I’m a little confused as the story starts. On the title page, I’m told this is a middle school drama, and I’m preparing for adventures of middle school students. However, on the first page I’m reading about the crowded pool and the wild dorms, which sounds like a college or university-level program. I suppose there could be a middle school where parents just ship their kids off and they’re left utterly unsupervised, but at this point, I don’t know what’s going on and if I’m dealing with 10-year-olds or 21-year-olds.

It was an interesting setup and good descriptions on that page leading to Cerise. I see the note we’re back in middle school, but these kids are wandering the woods utterly unsupervised. Perhaps this is set in a different time or place. Again, good descriptions there with the interactions with Cerise, it felt realistic and like I was in the story there. I’m not sure about the two options that appear to lead to exactly the same path – what was the point in that? It seems liked an option just to put an option in there.

The story ended pretty quickly, just like when it felt like it was getting going. Then again, it also ends when you eat “ice scream,” which is probably a good thing, because that doesn’t sound tasty at all! All-in-all it was a nice little short story. Thank you for sharing it with the site.
-- Ogre11 on 6/10/2018 5:34:45 PM with a score of 0
I really like this one. I read the second one to this first so when I start reading this a lot of the things sounded familiar and that's when I realized that I read the stories out of order and I really wish I had read them in the right order, cause the second one would have made more sense. But I enjoyed this one very much and the second one too. Thanks for sharing
-- Francesca1986 on 11/2/2018 4:23:41 PM with a score of 888
It was cute and touching.
-- 3iguy on 9/17/2018 12:07:47 AM with a score of 888
This was a really cool story a I think it will get lots of goog feedback/comments.
-- Elizabeth on 8/26/2018 12:36:38 AM with a score of 888
Being a Piano Player myself, I feel like this piece was an excellent representation of the beauty of the instrument as well as the music it can create. The feeling of getting lost in the music was wonderfully done. The descriptions of the scenery are simply detailed, which is a nice fit with the length of the story. The length of the story is also a nice fit for the genre you've chosen to write.

The only complaint I have is that the story is written in 2nd PoV and yet we have been assigned a specific name. In 2nd PoV, we are supposed to put ourselves into the story, but if the story is to follow Taylor then it should be written in either 1st or 3rd.

Great story. Well done. I enjoyed it. :)
-- MysteriousMystery on 7/10/2018 11:44:33 AM with a score of 888
Some typos still- but didn't disturb the flow really. I enjoyed it. I have some questions about the spooky girl, but I imagine if I played other versions, it would flesh out. Well done.
-- LuvLee on 6/19/2018 11:04:29 PM with a score of 0
This story was obviously rushed and there were quite a few typos and a couple of POV issues as a result, but this is the WIBN that I remember and the only one who should be allowed to write.

Keep up the good work!
-- TheNewIAP on 6/8/2018 11:44:12 AM with a score of 0
And here Wibbins the competent writer has come back and locked Wibbins the alien talker in the broom closet.

Good job.
-- Bucky on 6/8/2018 8:12:29 AM with a score of 0
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