The Phone Call

Player Rating3.65/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 21 ratings since 02/10/2021
played 91 times (finished 24)

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

You can hear it ringing again. The endless droll of mechanical laughter that mocks you. Without fail, it rings at precisely 3:02 in the morning, never a good nights sleep allowed. Some days you yearn to smash it, others you let it ring until you think you may go deaf. And even still others lead you to answering...

the phone call.

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Just an extremely, bare minimum game (though this says nothing of quality) to test the waters on this site before I finish up the game I've been chipping away at for almost two years. Don't expect too much from it, I just wanted to tell a simple and short story!

Player Comments

Interesting story a bit confusing for me but still a decent read!
-- Aldreda on 2/23/2021 9:44:08 AM with a score of 1
I’ll be writing this as I go along[Slight Spoilers Ahead, skip to paragraph 4 ].

It starts off with a phone call, okay. Not necessarily the most original concept, but it depends on how it’s executed. I smashed it! I’m also revealed a piece of information, about someone named “Alex”. From what i can pick up, there’s some sort of feud with the Protagonist’s friend(s), and this Alex is some sort of love interest.
Continuing on. I see that I’m forced to ignore it, as I fall asleep with this call again. Ignoring it, I get it again after a while. I see that eventually I’m forced to answer it. It seems that this Alex is on the other side of the line.
This is where the story is unraveled a bit more, there’s a confession, and there’s a response similar to answering the call, more and more story and possibilities are revealed, which is pretty nice. But then, it ends.

Overall, I feel that this story is interesting enough. It doesn’t give much detail at the start, and leads you along the way to choose all the paths and learn about the story, which is the good aspect. Unfortunately for this one, it ends there, after the story is revealed, after the information is dumped down. I would definitely like to see more as this shows great potential. It’s descriptive, intriguing, and it’s only downfall is the rushed-ness(It’s justified with the author’s self imposed deadline).
-- PerforatedPenguin on 2/19/2021 2:07:14 PM with a score of 1
The story that's told her is a rather emotional one, and I found myself liking that aspect of this work. However, this is certainly rather linear, but fortunately, I feel that the rather moving story that's here holds this story up.

I would definitely not mind seeing another story that is made from this writer, as story-telling certainty doesn't seem to be an aspect that they struggle in.
-- TharaApples on 2/17/2021 9:32:06 PM with a score of 1
I loved the concept of this story. This was definitely a psychological story than anything else. However, I felt there was lost potential in the story, as every choice I made seemed to loop around back to your other choice. It didn't necessarily feel like a choose your own adventure story as there is never really any significance in choosing one option over another. This would be THE criticism I would have with this story.

That being said, as a project to test the waters, this was well written despite it lacking context and a little bit more meat to make it stand out.

In the future, I'm looking forward to the authour's next works as this wasn't a bad story by any means. I'm confident that the authour will have success writing bigger and better stories. All the best to future works!
-- The_Devil on 2/17/2021 12:44:04 AM with a score of 1
No real branching at all so that is going to hurt the rating, but as a psychological horror piece this really works. Was this a short story converted to a storygame?

Anyhow, between this and the Alone story posted on the forum, TP's got the short unsettling horror niche covered. Looking forward to the larger project this author is working on, but in the mean time I recommend taking a couple of minutes to read this one.
-- mizal on 2/14/2021 8:47:03 AM with a score of 1
Wow, this got....strange. This should be in Horror. But very good, I loved it.
-- eatyourveggies on 2/13/2021 11:23:18 AM with a score of 1
It was fun.
-- CarterBrazensky on 2/13/2021 9:59:47 AM with a score of 1
Grammatical errors, spelling errors, too repetitive, not enough choices. Disappointing.
-- Quorrah on 2/12/2021 11:44:51 AM with a score of 1
Overall I feel like this was a good short story. There are a few minor issues like switching tense(I do that myself a lot), but overall it has good grammar and pacing.

I like the concept and the lack of explanation for the backstory leaves it open to interpretation, which is something I highly appreciate in a story game when done correctly. Personally, I feel like the player is dealing with their regrets over a poorly handled phone conversation that was followed by their friend's suicide.

My one complaint is that the story is very linear. While I like the idea of the time loop, there is no true branching or weight to the choices. No matter what, you loop back to the other choice before continuing. If the loop had involved some subtle changes rather than just a true repeat I think it would have carried more weight. I would have also liked to have seen a choice branch that allowed for a little more exploration of the player's guilt and how they are dealing with it.

Overall, it's a solid little story despite being linear. Great job! I give it a 4, though it would have been a 5 if not for being linear.
-- simplesabley on 2/12/2021 8:51:10 AM with a score of 1
This is like a mini Christopher Nolan plot. The character is stuck in this odd loop, and slowly the reader understands what's happening.

The writing itself is pretty good, there's no glaring issues that I noticed.

Spoiler: The plot starts off with absolutely no information. You slowly find out more stuff about the plot, but it only leaves me with MORE questions. You die in a car crash because you're... annoying your partner? Now you're in Hell, and you're being tortured by phone calls from your partner? Are these real phone calls, or an illusion? Why are you in Hell anyways? What does the ending mean?

Additionally, you end up going through all the links in the story (I think), so this isn't really a storygame, just a story with a cyclical structure. A neat concept, but imperfect execution.
-- WizzyCat on 2/10/2021 1:10:52 PM with a score of 1
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