The Phone Call

Player Rating3.61/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 34 ratings since 02/10/2021
played 201 times (finished 37)

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

You can hear it ringing again. The endless droll of mechanical laughter that mocks you. Without fail, it rings at precisely 3:02 in the morning, never a good nights sleep allowed. Some days you yearn to smash it, others you let it ring until you think you may go deaf. And even still others lead you to answering...

the phone call.

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Just an extremely, bare minimum game (though this says nothing of quality) to test the waters on this site before I finish up the game I've been chipping away at for almost two years. Don't expect too much from it, I just wanted to tell a simple and short story!

Player Comments

This is a little underrated. It's probably because it's linear and not everyone's cup of tea. This is as described, bare bones, but they are of good quality.
-- ugilick on 4/13/2021 6:43:27 PM with a score of 1
This story seems underrated to me, I love psychological horror and this really did it well. The twist is unsettling and while the story is basically linear, it works here. You can't truly give the experience of being caught in a hellish cycle when there's an easy way to click out of it.
-- Klockwerk on 4/10/2021 10:06:51 PM with a score of 1
I see what you were going for the lines really show a raw emotional story (maybe a personal nightmare), Sadly the way it was presented was very disorienting and hard to follow and could use a little bit of touch ups but I think it has potential sooo just keep working at it.
-- Zardoz on 4/3/2021 1:02:02 AM with a score of 1
First time I've ever heard pregnant silence used in a sentence.

Liked the aesthetic of the story and how it went along for the majority of the beginning, felt like it fell flat a little towards the ending but not to much for it to detract essence from the overall feel.

Like from what I first said I feel like some of the idioms and similes used were kind of confusing, but maybe it was just me.

Found quite a number of spelling errors but I feel like it shouldn't take all that much time to fix them in the paths that they were in.

Quite dissapointed in the linearity of the story so hope you try to make it more expansive next time you make a story.

Overall not bad.
-- Digit on 3/13/2021 12:43:39 AM with a score of 1
Overview: this story game is about uncovering the secrets of your past via a mysterious phone call. Personally I enjoyed the story a lot, but here is my review!!

Positives:
-The story isn’t really fucking obvious from the start. I thought that maybe Alex (the one calling) committed suicide and the story was about your regret for not picking up/ listening to them when they needed you most, but learning that it was your death that Alex caused was a pretty good twist (even if there was very little set up as far as I am aware).
-There’s not any/many grammar mistakes (as far as I can make out) and it reads relatively smoothly.
-The relationship between the POV character and Alex is pretty well established and builds a lot of empathy for the character, especially when we find out they are being abused.

Things to improve:
-Some of the description is a bit weird, especially the bit about a scratch under ‘your largest organ’. That was slightly strange because I don’t think many people associate the skin with an organ, even though it is, and it doesn’t really make a lot of sense.
-This game is very linear, there’s essentially one path to take even though you can go through it in a few different ways, your actions don’t have any major story consequences.
-I’m deaf so have never heard a phone call, seems pretty ableist to me friend

Jokes aside this is pretty well written and well paced, can’t wait to see what you make next!! :)

-- Green44 on 3/10/2021 3:40:51 PM with a score of 1
Oh, wow. I thought about trying to do one of those review things I see other people do, but seeing as I’ve never written a story I’m not going to try to criticize others’. Thins is a great story, though!
-- writeyourstory on 3/10/2021 3:03:26 PM with a score of 1
Interesting story a bit confusing for me but still a decent read!
-- Aldreda on 2/23/2021 9:44:08 AM with a score of 1
I’ll be writing this as I go along[Slight Spoilers Ahead, skip to paragraph 4 ].

It starts off with a phone call, okay. Not necessarily the most original concept, but it depends on how it’s executed. I smashed it! I’m also revealed a piece of information, about someone named “Alex”. From what i can pick up, there’s some sort of feud with the Protagonist’s friend(s), and this Alex is some sort of love interest.
Continuing on. I see that I’m forced to ignore it, as I fall asleep with this call again. Ignoring it, I get it again after a while. I see that eventually I’m forced to answer it. It seems that this Alex is on the other side of the line.
This is where the story is unraveled a bit more, there’s a confession, and there’s a response similar to answering the call, more and more story and possibilities are revealed, which is pretty nice. But then, it ends.

Overall, I feel that this story is interesting enough. It doesn’t give much detail at the start, and leads you along the way to choose all the paths and learn about the story, which is the good aspect. Unfortunately for this one, it ends there, after the story is revealed, after the information is dumped down. I would definitely like to see more as this shows great potential. It’s descriptive, intriguing, and it’s only downfall is the rushed-ness(It’s justified with the author’s self imposed deadline).
-- PerforatedPenguin on 2/19/2021 2:07:14 PM with a score of 1
The story that's told her is a rather emotional one, and I found myself liking that aspect of this work. However, this is certainly rather linear, but fortunately, I feel that the rather moving story that's here holds this story up.

I would definitely not mind seeing another story that is made from this writer, as story-telling certainty doesn't seem to be an aspect that they struggle in.
-- TharaApples on 2/17/2021 9:32:06 PM with a score of 1
I loved the concept of this story. This was definitely a psychological story than anything else. However, I felt there was lost potential in the story, as every choice I made seemed to loop around back to your other choice. It didn't necessarily feel like a choose your own adventure story as there is never really any significance in choosing one option over another. This would be THE criticism I would have with this story.

That being said, as a project to test the waters, this was well written despite it lacking context and a little bit more meat to make it stand out.

In the future, I'm looking forward to the authour's next works as this wasn't a bad story by any means. I'm confident that the authour will have success writing bigger and better stories. All the best to future works!
-- The_Devil on 2/17/2021 12:44:04 AM with a score of 1
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