Vicious Moles of Nature

a Horror by Bill_Ingersoll

Commended by mizal on 11/29/2019 4:48:24 AM

Player Rating?/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 8 ratings since 11/29/2019
played 71 times (finished 11)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

Vicious Mole Main Title 2As evening arrives on Thanksgiving Day, Hammie Dansker is still struggling with the recent death of his father — and the even more recent marriage of his mother to his uncle. After a tense dinner prepared by his mother and former girlfriend, Hammie steps out onto the porch of his late father's farm… and notices that the dogs, Guildenstern and Rosencrantz, are dead. A familiar but unwelcome sound can be heard out in the pastures. This can mean only one thing: the Vicious Moles of Nature have returned!

This is horror story… based on a tragic misinterpretation of Hamlet.

Important Stats:

- 8 endings

- 1 night of terror

- ??? vicious moles

 

© 2019 Bill Ingersoll

Image source: wallhere.com.

Player Comments

I just want to start off by saying amazing job on the title page. You consistently add these to the start of your storygames, and they really help create the feel that you’re reading a physical book. I also want to say that I’ve never read Hamlet (or any adaptation of it), so this review is just my experience with this story alone. Alright, let’s get to the actual story now.

As soon as I saw the Hamlet excerpt at the beginning it was easy to see where the “tragic misinterpretation” came from. I could already tell that the story would be entertaining, and began looking forward to what laughs horrors I would be experiencing soon. Bill’s style of writing drew me in immediately and kept me interested the entire time I was reading. Just as Mizal said, it’s incredible how much attention Bill pays to the little details, utilizing the ability to make even cows sound intriguing. Something I really enjoyed when reading was the satirical undertone of the horror story. When the moles are first introduced, they are described as “vicious mole-beasts that live underground, coming up to feed only when the nights are freezing,'' which is not the way a true horror story would describe is “terrifying monsters”. Instead, it’s written more as a parody on the horror genre, and how stories attempt to create beasts out of common creatures.

One thing that I didn’t enjoy about the story were the path lengths. The paths and pages were written so that it seemed like they would continue on for a while, building on the story and adding more plot. Instead, the choices would lead to an interesting scene of events, but then the story would just end. No resolution, no epilogue, one of the characters would speak (seemingly leading to another choice), and then I would be hit with the end game link. This was only an issue for me because I felt that a lot of the paths had so much potential, and it just wasn’t quite reached in the short amount of time it took to finish.

Mizal already pointed out the few typos/grammar errors, so I’m not going to bother doing it again. I wasn’t able to find any more, and I find it incredible that the story was published and only two grammatical errors were found. Vicious Moles of Nature was written extremely well, and the lack of grammar and typing mistakes definitely shows that.

In conclusion, I really enjoyed reading Vicious Moles of Nature, although I hadn’t read Hamlet to understand the parody. It was a nice short read, filled with great storytelling and an interesting plot. You have yet to publish a less-than-amazing storygame Bill, and I’m excited to see whatever you put out next.
-- C6H8O6 on 12/11/2019 12:15:32 AM with a score of 0
First, you really need to be careful of phrases like 'his mother and former girlfriend'. On CYS, that is known as false advertising. Also, just so you know, every time I've seen this since it's been published I read the damn name as 'Hammie Dankster' and was sorely disappointed when I realized this was not the case.

The story itself from page one does its job making me sympathize and even get angry on behalf of the MC. Even though the title picture and description made it obvious that moles were going to be a threat in more than the allegorical sense, the shift from the more 'grounded reality' to the horror elements as I came up to the first choice made me almost regretful, at that point I was all caught up in Ham's family troubles and uncertainty and wanting to see how that all developed.

The way the story progresses though, there's so much realism and the small details Bill has a knack for--everything down to the small wisps of snow still lingering on the grass to the orange glow of a distant city on the horizon, to the humming of cars somewhere off on the highway at night--all build this completely believable setting and situation where everything is our familiar normal reality, except that you just HAPPEN to be on the trail of legendary truck-sized moles, and no one can stop with the Hamlet references.

"Compared to watching football with Claude, then yeah, this shit kicks ass." Made me laugh.

The way Seymour is described is just one of many examples of just straight up fantastic writing in here. What a great way to tell you everything you need to know about a character in three simple sentences.

On the whole I preferred the branches where you went out investigating alone for the horror atmosphere, and for sort of reminding me of the movie Tremors (not to say that having your group picked off one by one every time you turn around isn't a classic...) but of course the inspiration of this story being what it is, gotta follow the trail to where the references are thick and goofy.

In the end I couldn't find any actual 'happy' ending, and I really would've liked a confrontation with the uncle or for it to be revealed what happened to the dad, but then again it's Hamlet and a horror, mere survival a couple of times is realistically more than anyone could have hoped for. It was a fascinating little adventure though that really explored the depths of how gross and creepy star nosed moles are.


TYPOS:
Of course, this is assuming that your assumptions are correct, and that they have deoured your dogs.

Gertrude watches politely from the porch, as if she is having a hard time seeing what the issue is, but wants to feign interest anyway if this is important to you, he only child.
-- mizal on 12/10/2019 10:21:19 PM with a score of 0
It was a fun--and dangerous--adventure in the wilderness.

There was a Hamlet parody here, and a potentially lethal hunt, and both bits had interesting elements (and often witty moments in the Hamlet bit!) I expect exciting wilderness adventure from Bill, and this game serves it up.

My one significant gripe: I didn't think the Hamlet part felt like it fit with the game, feeling more like an overlay than an integral part of the structure. There were times I felt it distracted from the game, with certain bits in there strictly for a pun, which is fine--Shakespeare loved his puns too--but I wasn't sure it fit the overall atmosphere of the game.

-- Gower on 12/7/2019 1:42:06 PM with a score of 0
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