Best of luck, Wibn. I'm excited to see what you come up with ^_^

Your story was graded with exactly the same standards and amount of criticism as any other story on the site. People don't give good ratings to stories that are less than 500 words with little story to speak of and some random song lyrics thrown in. As for comments, "trial by fire" is kinda how things work around here. Usually it's constructive criticism masked in a slew of insults because it makes people laugh. This is a place for writers to hone their skills and readers to find good and engaging stories (which are the ones that survive.) If you're using it for a school project, I would suggest you take the advice I gave you in my "nasty" comment.

It's from Penguins of Madagascar, formerly from the Madagascar movies.

Long story short, I got pissed off at Ford earlier and quit the Discord server after being thown into hell. I joined back, asked to be put back in hell (dunno if that message made it before I was switched or not, but I ended up there regardless), and now need to write a thing to get out. So here's a thing. Or rather, the beginning of a thing. It's very rushed and I'm not the best writer when I'm in a bad mood, but it is what it is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tranquil music flooded the area as Kyrie stood motionless. The grass beneath her feet was a perfect shade of laurel green, each blade dancing in the wind. Leaves and petals blew in front of her, carried by this same breeze. She shifted her weight. The slightly rusted armor she wore responded well enough to this motion, it’s creaking barely audible through the music and wind. Two suns illuminated the scene, one setting, one rising. Both cast brilliant shades of pink and orange upon the purple sky. Kyrie’s cape fluttered, changing courses only slightly as she shifted her weight again. Aside from this simple movement though, she stood rooted to her spot, staring ahead as if mesmerized by the scene. “Damn,” muttered Annabelle Wolfe from the other side of her computer screen. “Those are some crazy good graphics...” Then there were footsteps. The stairwell! Annabelle thought, quickly muting her computer and switching the screen to a Microsoft Word document. The music abruptly stopped, replaced by the suspicious tones of Anna’s mother. “You’d better be doing your homework up there!” “Of course I am!” she called back toward the doorway. She made a silent prayer to the gods of gaming that her mother wouldn’t come into the room. Eliza Wolfe may have been oblivious at times, but a blank word document wasn’t that great of an alibi. Besides, when it came to Anna’s video game habits, her mother knew all too well what was really happening when she sat in front of that screen. It was never homework. “If you’re playing that game again…” The door swung open. Apparently the gaming gods were AFK. “I can take that computer away, you know. I did pay for it.” Couldn’t you have paid a little more? Anna’s first thought was entirely selfish. At least she was smart enough to keep her mouth shut. Of course, she did like to think she had a point. Her computer was bulky and slow, so old that it was nearly obsolete. Half the games her friends played wouldn’t even run on it. “That game” her mother was referring to seemed to be the only exception. She had been shocked when it didn’t crash the second she booted up something as complicated as Draesanor. It ran without lag too… maybe she shouldn’t complain. “I need it for school,” she returned the standard excuse. Anna wasn’t particularly worried. Her mom made this threat on a regular basis, but she hardly ever went through with it. “Maybe I’d believe you if you used it for school.” The reply was still suspicious, but the door began to close. “I worry about you. You’re gonna pass out one of these days, like these people on TV” “Mhm” Anna muttered, listening carefully until the footsteps in the stairwell faded away. Mother was always worried about her. And she watched way too much TV. Every since they’d done that news release on how game addicts were falling into comas or something like that, mom had constantly been on Anna’s case about the computer. Rolling her eyes, she returned to her game. It wasn’t like she was addicted or anything. Parents just didn’t get it. The second sun had risen higher now, and the purple sky was quickly becoming blue. Kyrie was sitting now, cross-legged in the grass. Cartoon “Z’s” floated above her head. Occasionally she’d look up, glancing almost impatiently behind her, before returning to her virtual slumber. To every other player in the game, this would indicate that Annabelle was away from the keyboard. Anna pressed the directional arrow “up”, and Kyrie struggled to her feet. The rusted armor creaked and shifted as she stood. “Sorry Kyrie…” Anna whispered, though she knew full well that the avatar could not hear her. “Mom’s being nosy again.” She’d only been playing for about a month, but in that time she’d formed a fairly strong attachment to the character on the screen. Kyrie was everything Annabelle wished she could be. She was beautiful of course, as all computer generated characters are. The character creation process had been fairly involved, allowing Anna to sculpt practically every aspect of the face and body. As such, the two did look very much alike. Kyrie had Anna’s chin, brow, and inquisitive grey eyes. The nose was similar too, though the player had elected to make it a bit smaller. She’d never liked her nose. Kyrie’s form was thinner than Anna’s, and her flawless skin and golden hair remained too perfect to be human, but still one could not help but notice the similarities. Kyrie was just more… animated. She was stronger too. That was part of the attraction of gaming, at least in Annabelle’s eyes. Kyrie could run across entire cities, slay hordes of monsters, and stay awake for days on end without ever growing weary. She may stumble or miss with the sword, but she never had any real injury. Even when Kyrie would run into too much trouble and get killed, she’d simply respawn at the nearest town. Gaming gave Anna a sense of immortality. Though she was incredibly clumsy in real life, in game she could be a warrior. Warrior. That was the class she’d chosen for Kyrie. Now that she was level 9 though, that branch of her powers was nearly completed. Draesanor’s class system was one of the most intense and diverse of any game she’d ever played, allowing for what seemed like an infinite number of specializations. It started with the basic three classes of any MMO, Warrior, Rogue, and Mage. Warriors started with greater strength and defense, but lacked magical ability. Rouges focused on critical hits and dodging enemy blows, and Mages cast impressive spells, but could do little to defend themselves. It was all pretty standard. But after level 10, all of that would change. Each of these three would branch off into several paths, each with its own skillset and powers. Anna pressed more keys, and Kyrie broke into a sprint. Her armor clanked as she ran, leaving boot-shaped footprints in the grass. It won’t be long now. She reached a dirt path, and turned toward the village of EverSpell. Within a minute, she could see the outlines of a few small brick houses. The music shifted as she approached the town, transitioning smoothly from the peaceful meadow theme to a jaunty melody as the path turned to stone. Kyrie’s footsteps grew louder now, no longer muffled by grass and dirt. Nervous that her Mom might hear, Anna muted the computer again. She kept playing though, and the second Kyrie entered the town, she made a beeline for the local blacksmith. Scrolling quickly through the dialogue, Anna sat on the edge of her seat. Her heart started pounding faster, and she tapped her foot impatiently. Okay, maybe she was a little addicted… but this was where the fun would really start. It was a simple side quest: collect 10 Razorboar Hides and bring them to the blacksmith. The dialogue would be just as simple… a few thank you’s, some talk about his business, and an instruction to come back when there was more work for her. She was far more concerned with the quest reward. There was some gold, a leather helmet, and most importantly, 500 experience points- enough to bring Kyrie up to level 10. Finally, the speech bubble closed. Light swirled around the avatar, the classic indicator that she’d just gained experience. “LEVEL UP!” The game announced in beautiful gold letters that filled the screen. “User: Kyrie is now lvl 10!” Anna could almost hear the usual fanfare that went with the message, though her computer was still muted. Then a new image covered the screen. It was divided into five columns, each depicting Kyrie in a different way. Above them was written in red capital letters “Choose Your Destiny” This was a page she hoped to see often, as the further one progressed in Draesanor, the more branches would be opened up to them. Each of these “Kyries” looked strong and impressive, all with different poses and outfits far cooler than her rusted warrior armor. In one she was clad in animal hide, fierce war paint outlining a determined glare. In another she wore tight leather armor, hands wrapped in bloody bandages. Yet from the look on her face it was the blood of her enemies. There was a Kyrie is bright silver armor who wielded a hammer twice her size, and one shrouded by darkness with an aura of great power. Anna already knew which she desired for her character. The Kyrie in the middle column was dressed in brilliant white and gold armor, a greatsword clutched in a gauntleted fist. At her feet there was a shield, and a gold amulet hung around her neck. This Kyrie glowed yellow, a soft light coming from her skin. She smiled back at Anna with confidence in her eyes. The text underneath it read “Paladin.” This was the one. Paladins (as it said in the description when she moused over it) were warriors of light. They used a mixture of defense and healing capabilities to survive the fiercest of onslaughts, and were renowned for their heroism and chivalry. It was absolutely perfect! When she’d first created Kyrie, this was exactly the sort of character she’d envisioned. Even her name was taken from the latin name for “light” (or “lord”, but it’s Latin… she figured she could pick which meaning she wanted and nobody would care.) She’d heard it in some song they were singing in a choir she’d joined for about two weeks before deciding it “wasn’t her thing,” but the name had stuck with her. And now there she was… the Paladin Kyrie. Eagerly she selected the middle column, and a new set of skills popped up on the bottom of the screen. She had new armor in her inventory too, and her class had changed to “Paladin Initiate.” Apparently there would be a lot more work ahead of her before she reached the gilded form in the picture. She equipped the new armor, happy to find that it both looked and performed better than her old, rusted set. As she closed out all of the new notifications and tutorials she’d figure out later, a yellow exclamation mark appeared over the blacksmith’s head. There was a new quest. Perfect, Anna thought. Now she could test out her new skills. After scrolling through some more dialogue and getting her objective, she sent Kyrie down another stone path. “Defeat 20 KeyWardens,” it said. That meant she would have to travel to another area. Keywardens, the blacksmith had informed her, were relatively weak creatures that resided in The Obsidian Plains a good distance from EverSpell on the map. It would take several minutes just to walk there, but seeing as she hadn’t been to the area before, she didn’t have any other travel options. Besides, now that she’d hit level 10, she thought it might be fun to do some exploring. It wasn’t long before the stone path faded into dirt again. The scene seemed to shift rather frequently, from grassland to mountain, to forest. It all transitioned so smoothly, without even having to load. The changing background was her only indicator that she’d changed areas at all. The win had died down now, and the trees and grasses only shifted slightly as she charged past them. The the second sun pierced through the clouds, glinting off her new armor with such ferocity that Anna kept forgetting to look at the path in front of her. Kyrie looked so much more… majestic now. She couldn’t help but feel a tinge of pride. When she did look back at the surroundings, she found herself surrounded by tall, healthy oaks. Must be some forest area, she decided. Kyrie slowed to a walk as Anna shifted the mouse, looking closely at each of the proud trees. They were beautifully detailed, each with a different pattern to its bark. Their tops stretched far above the character’s head, the branched twisting and interlocking so that as she went deeper into this forest, the glaring sunlight was reduced to tiny rays, barely able to penetrate the leafy ceiling. The young gamer couldn’t help admiring the graphics. She shook her head slightly, preparing to run again. It’s just a game. Gotta focus on the quest. There was no way she was going to get anything done if she was always stopping to admire every tree in her path. Sure it all looked amazing, but that wasn’t the point in the end. She turned the mouse forward, ready to charge again, but was suddenly frozen in her tracks. Anna jumped back in her seat, flooded with a sudden sense of panic. One of those trees was moving. And it was charging directly at Kyrie.

Good idea, if you claimed me as your property I'd tear up everything you packed out of spite.

It would be much more practical to put Ford in the suitcase. He's shorter and less likely to make noise.