Oh shit Chopped is a family show. Oh well I guess we can have an unscrupulous family show.

Name: Pierre 'Calzone' Peters

Age: 30

Sex: Femoid

Nationality: French

Bio:

Pierre 'Calzone' Peters, born Jacques Smith, is the adopted daughter of Mr Peters - a world-renowned patissiere that recently keeled over and died while judging at a certain cooking contest. Being a pretty good chef herself, Pierre's subbing in to finish the job. Following an intense spiritual awakening caused by her consumption of the fabled Peterson pizza ball, the meek, little girl sacrificed her biological parents on the Altar of Pastries at the age of ten. Quickly, she migrated to the United States, and away from the jurisdiction of local authorities. There, she embarked on a path of conquest - challenging any and all to high-stakes cook offs. The uniquely saccharine sweetness with which an adolescent Pierre brutalised her opponents captured the spotlight. Thus, she became a controversial figure; an inspiring advocate for the 'greater good' marred by hollow magnetism and a propensity for clout chasing. Despite the warrants for her arrest (she's wanted in every European country) these unscrupulous methods served her powerful connections in the culinary spheres, forged by dark passion and relatively good looks. Most importantly, it captured the attention of Mr Peters - the man who knew the secrets of the pizza ball. While Pierre did initially plan on discreetly dispensing with Mrs Peters, she decided that becoming heir to a patisserie empire was a better idea. She got adopted. One unfortunate plane crash later - coined the Crash of 2009 - and all ten of Mr Peters' children were conveniently expired. In one fell swoop, Pierre became sole successor - to the money, to the power, to the pizza ball. 

Pierre can usually be found at the Peters' Pastries central laboratory in New York City, perfecting the art of pizza ballery in between photo shoots, interviews and bouts of Twitter savagery. She runs the pastry conglomerate with an iron fist, and likes to dance in the shower during her down time.

:(

Name: Calzone

Age: is just a number

Sex: Male

Nationality: Turnover

Bio:

Calzone is an Italian oven-baked folded pizza that gained sentience after contracting breast dough. Stuffed with salami, ham, vegetables, mozzarella, Parmesan cheese, and egg. He travelled all over the world advertising his services at children's birthday parties, rich people orgies, and everything in between. Some suspect he speaks through a blow-hole hidden somewhere in his cheese crust. Procreation is off the table, but that doesn't stop him from trying to find love. Who knows, perhaps he'll find 'the one' at the bestest cooking comp in the world.

Yeap. Until someone steps in I'll use this to preserve anonymity, and post stories. Then you guys could reply under the one you wrote (after voting finishes). Seems like a very stupid roundabout way but oh well.