WRenby, The Reader

Member Since

6/22/2021

Last Activity

9/10/2022 5:55 PM

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50

Post Count

36

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0

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Hello! Nice to meet you, I am me. How about you?

Recent Posts

A Cygnet's Story on 9/10/2022 5:34:11 PM
Storygame inspired by this thread.

I will have a few nice swan photos as part of it, and maybe a section with trivia to make it more educational.

This one will mostly be to track my progress. I'm aiming for two pages a day, or roughly 800 words. I'm sure there will be days when I do a lot more than that but I'm trying to leave ample time for school and family things without making it stressful.

I don't like having my games in sneak peek, but I'll just post the first page here as proof I'm working on it:

######

Pen and her husband Cob had been resting in a pond thick with reeds since late morning, diving and pulling up vegetation when they were hungry, and then preening and cleaning their feathers while caressed by the cool breezes.

It was not until the evening air began to deepen in color when the two swans took to flight. The sun hung low over a dip between the hills and washed the world in a brilliant orange. With each beat of their powerful wings--the span of them spreading six feet across in flight--the couple rose higher and higher until they were barely discernible against the fluffy white of the clouds.

Flying north, they could see the patchwork farmland spread before them, and long twining roads snaking up to the distant lights of a city. But it was westward and away from it that they turned, aiming for the gap between the hills, two white specks striving for the sinking sun.

Their destination was a isolated lake nestled against a curve in the landscape, its still waters reflecting and doubling the gold and purple glories of the clouds in a display fit for royalty. There were other swans who made their homes here, and they all began arriving from their daily errands in ones and two, touching down alongside the last rays of sunlight caressing the water.

Pen and Cob glided across the lake to a spot where a tiny inlet flowed up between the roots of seven trees, each bending slightly to touch their leafy crowns together, creating a vaulted ceiling of sunlit green and cool shadows overhead.

In a hollow by the seventh tree rested seven sleepy cygnets. Each of these young swans is covered in a pale grey fuzz, the graceful white feathers of adulthood having not grown out yet.

One of them, of course is you.

######

Just an aside, has anyone read The Trumpet of the Swan? It's by the author of Charlotte's Web and it's pretty old but it's the first chapter book I ever read. So in a way I always liked swans.


Queen Elizabeth is dead on 9/10/2022 2:49:27 PM
I have learned an interesting fact: All the swans in England and in Wales, ALL of them, belonged to the Queen.

Story Ideas on 9/10/2022 12:43:06 PM

Fine, I will.

Challenge accepted! But I better get points for this.


Story Ideas on 9/10/2022 11:21:12 AM
I bet it's the same reason you only have one 2/8 length storygame when you probably have had thousands of ideas.

HAH LOSERS on 9/10/2022 11:16:14 AM
Buy less groceries, fatty.

Story Ideas on 9/10/2022 9:57:27 AM
How do you not have ideas? I mean I really am curious, how does that work? Is your mind just this serene blank space with nothing in it?

Here's a story about a war on 9/10/2022 9:55:13 AM
Not trying to be mean but I was bored immediately. The first paragraph is introducing all these fantasy names and then tells me the story is all about tired modern political stuff instead of any of the infinitely cool possibilities of sci fi. I just skimmed most of the rest and I'm not going to apologize for that, I don't think it's possible for any human to stay focused while reading a bunch of numbers attached to gibberish words you haven't taken the time to assign any meaning to. Then I saw three link and realized that this isn't even meant to be a real story, just a chunk carved out of the rest of your worldbuilding lore. But even as worldbuilding it could've been organized better in a way that was more readable. I'm sure you could turn the things you list as happening here into a whole novel that would be cool and interesting, but the reason people are being critical is that you presented it as a story. But "stories" have characters first of all and the setting is also supposed to be a part of that, not just more worldbuilding facts shoved in a link.

Queen Elizabeth is dead on 9/10/2022 9:27:19 AM
People that old freak me out a little, it's really weird to think it's still possible to talk to people who remember things from almost a century ago that everyone else had only read about. But just the fact that there are people making fun of a woman in her 90s dying proves that our society sucks too much to deserve them. This is just random but has everyone thought about how everyone who remembers WWII will be dead soon, and then not long after it'll be everyone who remembers the civil rights era and Vietnam, and then we'll all be old and all we'll remember is that covid made the economy suck so we stayed at home and played games and watched more superhero shows?

passwords not case sensitive on 9/10/2022 9:07:15 AM
I was wondering why I couldn't log in. Good job whoever fixed this!

Is it okay to say hi? on 1/19/2022 1:40:10 PM
No it is not okay, how dare you say hi. You've made me so angry now!