You should try the second one. They are VERY LONG books, but just read them at nights. They are funner that way.

Anyone read any of the Harry Potter books? If you haven't, you should do! I once spent my whole day reading one of those books, I had to skip my morning shower and my afternoon nap.

Thank you. Sorry about that, I've only been on this site for 2 days and I need locating around the areas. Thanks anyway!

Gonna write a story, here's a description of it!

Jack awakes from deep-sleep expecting to have arrived in orbit of a distant world, but instead he finds that something has gone terribly wrong. The colony ship should have taken only a few hundred years to arrive at its destination, but he has been in stasis for much longer; many thousands of years, in fact. The ship has somehow missed its destination and flown right by, or perhaps veered off course and headed out into the unknown. It is now thousands of years into deep space.

After a thousand years of drifting through deep space, many of the ship’s systems began to fail. A power shortage resulted in some of the stasis chambers opening, and hundreds of passengers woke up to find themselves stranded. With limited supplies, surviving a life trapped aboard the ship wasn’t easy, but many of them managed to adapt. They split into several different groups based on their individual skills and how far they were willing to go to stay alive.

The farmers managed to grow their own food using the agricultural supplies intended for the colony, but there wasn’t enough to go around. Another group, made up of the remnants of the crew and some members of the military, were forced to be more creative. When the farmers refused to share their food, they turned to cannibalism. At first, they harvested the passengers whose stasis chambers had not yet malfunctioned, opening their stasis pods and killing them in their sleep. Later, as the food source became scarce, they began hunting the other survivors. While their numbers dwindled, both groups were able to adapt well enough to survive and breed, as were their children and grandchildren.

After many successive generations, the descendants of the passengers are now perfectly adapted to life aboard ship, some of them hideously so. The memory of life on Earth has become a half-remembered legend, and the word “humanity” no longer applies.

Just switch it off on the story editor. If you don't mind people looking at your work, just leave the switch to on.

James Peterson looked at the shiny cheese in his hands and felt lonely.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Busy surroundings. He had always loved Smelly Millenium Fish & Chip Shop with its freezing, flaky Fries. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel lonely.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Olivia Zantherone. Olivia was a mean ogre with dirty legs and greasy vaginas.

James gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a cowardly, violent, coffee drinker with large legs and slimy vaginas. His friends saw him as a spicy, shaggy saint. Once, he had even rescued an easy kitten from a burning building.

But not even a cowardly person who had once rescued an easy kitten from a burning building, was prepared for what Olivia had in store today.

The sleet rained like rampaging koalas, making James fuzzy.

As James stepped outside and Olivia came closer, he could see the fried glint in her eye.

"Look James," growled Olivia, with a courageous glare that reminded James of mean dogs. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a penis. You owe me 718 dollars."

James looked back, even more fuzzy and still fingering the shiny cheese. "Olivia, yabba Dabba Doo," he replied.

They looked at each other with shocked feelings, like two curried, cool cows drinking at a very clumsy dinner party, which had rock music playing in the background and two wild uncles jogging to the beat.

Suddenly, Olivia lunged forward and tried to punch James in the face. Quickly, James grabbed the shiny cheese and brought it down on Olivia's skull.

Olivia's dirty legs trembled and her greasy vaginas wobbled. She looked afraid, her wallet raw like a blue, bulbous bacon.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Olivia Zantherone was dead.

James Peterson went back inside and made himself a nice cup of coffee.

THE END

The snow reminded me of a Kitten that day - what a day for Armageddon.

I panicked, my fear reflected in the eyes of Santa Claus and A Pizza Guy.

But then we saw it - a hot BBQ. Santa Claus smiled. A sexual penis, a delicious toad and a sweet bullfrog - the BBQ seemed like the answer to our prayers.

A Pizza Guy looked at the vagina! and frowned badly. Santa Claus, humping bashfully, conveyed similar sentiments.

A sense of anticipation ran through my penis, skipping brutally.

Santa Claus admired the BBQ's lickable santa, breath held tight.

MMMMF...!

With help from a stripy banana, the BBQ saved the world.

"It's time for calmy humping!" whispered the goblin that lives on my penis.

I looked at the pineapple; it had cold vagina! and fluffy tits. I loved Jimmy Savile. I loved Rolf Harris. I did not want to take the pineapple from them. Jimmy Savile, especially, loved the testicles.

I examined the swanky wanker. I studied the hot dick, which slept like a gay hyena.

I remembered raping badly at the goblin's will and knew I would comply again.

The thunder made me tremble like colourful penis.

Boom!

The pineapple was destroyed.

The goblin that lives on my penis slept happily.

:P Mine was better.
 

A Lickable Orangutan Brandishing a Pair of Monty Python Killer Rabbit Ate My Homework

Dear Mr Roppler,

Have I told you lately how much I love your fat testicles?

I am writing to you to ask for an extension on my my tits. As you know, I've always had a very slippery attitude towards deadlines. However, something unexpected happened.

My sister and I were in my lounge enjoying some smiley cauliflowers when a lickable orangutan came barging in brandishing a pair of Monty Python killer rabbits.

It looked at me with chubby eyes. I stared at its obese testicle #1. When it started singing, I knew it meant business.

I made a dive for my my tits but the lickable orangutan decided to rape them until I realised my testicle #2 and then run off dancing. I was taken aback.

So shocked was I, that I didn't realise that the lickable orangutan had grabbed my my tits until much later.

That evening, I was humping with my mother when I suddenly noticed that one of my tits was missing. I searched high and low, I even looked in someone's skirt.

Eventually, I reached the obvious conclusion - the lickable orangutan had taken my my tits to feed to its picky brother.

Thank you or being understanding and allowing me more time to complete my picky my tits.

Thanks
Mr. Milligope

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE READ THIS ONE AND POST A COMMENT ON IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.