I've found a website where you can create your own stories using boxes such as: Name and adjectives. At the end the website makes you a story based on what you have put in the boxes, there are many types of story you can make. Try them all for fun!

http://www.plot-generator.org.uk/

Just click one of the blurbs to get started!

What would you do if you knew there were dsgf sdfg with shocking habits near the ones you love?

The night of the sdfg changes everything for f fgs, a zero-year-old sdg from gs.

One moment, she is discussing dsfg with her sgf , gf gfs; the next, watching with horror as dsgf sdfg sdfg each other.

She knows these sdfg came from gf but she can't prove it - at least not without some dsfg sdfg.

The dsfg, sgf woman knows that her gfds life is over. She acquires some dsfg sdfg and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from dsgf sdfg.

However, f finds herself troubled by her gfds ideals and becomes overwhelmed with moral questions. Will her conscience allow her to do whatever is needed to stop the dsgf sdfg?

I did a crime one for you :P

Mangled eyeballs have been turning up all over Leicestershire and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a Crossbow, and still nobody has a clue who the Slow killer is.

Sir James Peterson is a Sensitive and Strong mechanic with a fondness for Teddy Bears. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the Clumsy killer.

When his Friend, Amber Matthews, is kidnapped, Sir Peterson finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a Shiny Mug.

He enlists the help of a Tall chef called Grim Bones.

Can Bones help Peterson overcome his video games addiction and find the answers before the Hairy killer and his deadly Crossbow strike again?

Ha. That makes even less sense. 

I know :P

Hah, I'm actually from Leicestershire :p

It sounds like a sex story...

"watching with horror as dsgf sdfg sdfg each other."

This part right? xD

Yep, you've read my mind.

I've been entertaining myself by just hitting the suggest buttons and seeing what happens. Here is my favorite so far.

"I'm going to need warped sausages, big, warped sausages."

It was a time of terror. Arrogant teens would poke each other in the street.

Only one man knows how to stop the terror. One generous, energetic man - Tony Giantbulb.

Tony is a 99-year-old computer programmer from Shanghai with a thirst for bananas.

He knows that to stop the arrogant teens from continuing their dastardly deeds, he must betray his articulate girlfriend, Alice Pigeon.

He gives up his cosy life and travels to Cambridge where he attends an important bar mitzvah and acquires some warped sausages.

However, when one of the arrogant teens bites off Tony's lips with crippling effect, it looks like his quest is over.

Without lips, will Tony Giantbulb be able to save the day?

I take that back... this one is just too good... I love this generator and it's random fill in button.

Luke Wishmonger is a puny, flabby and down to earth cleaner from the city. His life is going nowhere until he meets Carla Snozcumber, a curvy, bald woman with a passion for jam doughnuts.

Luke takes an instant disliking to Carla and the brutal and tactless ways she learnt during her years in the sea.

However, when a hooligan tries to destroy Luke, Carla springs to the rescue. Luke begins to notices that Carla is actually rather gentle at heart.

But, the pressures of Carla's job as a gardener leave her blind to Luke's affections and Luke takes up boxing to try an distract herself.

Finally, when hungry hairdresser, Casper Blackman, threatens to come between them, Carla has to act fast. But will they ever find the brutal love that they deserve?

Here a song one i made

May I have your attention please? 
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my arm (come take my arm)
We'll walk through New York together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm

His fingers are skinny, knees hard, eyes are rough
There's food on his shoes already, friend's sandwiches
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to take a stand,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,

And I am, a nice person
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, a nice person
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

You better make some money
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to take a stand
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
You better make some money
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to take a stand
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

So lets go back
Follow the star as we go on another episode
Journey with me as I take you through New York
I once used to call home sweet home

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the lake now

And when I'm gone, just take a stand, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my skinny fingers
Just know that I'm looking down on you acting
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just make some money

And when he's gone, just take a stand, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of his hard knees
Just know that he's looking down on you shouting
And his didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just make some money in your shoes.

*Snickers.

Mike Thornton is a stunning, strong and splendid nurse from Europe. His life is going nowhere until he meets Warwick Smith, a tall, handsome man with a passion for love.

Mike takes an instant disliking to Warwick and the snotty and ruthless ways he learnt during his years in Ireland.

However, when a jilted lover tries to eat Mike, Warwick springs to the rescue. Mike begins to notices that Warwick is actually rather giving at heart.

But, the pressures of Warwick's job as a actor leave him blind to Mike's affections and Mike takes up socialising to try an distract himself.

Finally, when tactless author, Virginia Wishmonger, threatens to come between them, Warwick has to act fast. But will they ever find the incredible love that they deserve?

(xD Hit the "random" buttons a few times and this is what popped out for a romance. The sequel to Brokeback Mountain? Maybe. :P Don't ask me why "EAT" and "DRINK" were "terrible things you could do to someone. Also, is it wrong that I laughed really hard over "the pressures of Warwick's job as an actor"? )

This Love is Chewy But It's Stunning
    - In the style of Taylor Swift

We were both stinky when I first saw you.
You shake some bootie and the flashback starts:
My office is where I'm standing in the autumn air.

What are you doing with that new lover?
Who wears that rancid scarf,
When I wear a lifeless sarong,
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for is my greasy teeth.

So this is me kissing, 
Standing in front of you saying, "I didn't mean to hurt you!"
And I go back to autumn all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but collapsing bravely,
Wishing I'd realised I murdered your goldfish.
I'd go back to autumn, turn around and do some complaining.
I go back to autumn quite often.

Pookie, let's do some juggling,
This love is chewy but it's stunning.
It's a love story, pookie,
Just be my useful frog.

We are never ever ever going to try smoking carelessly together,
We are never ever ever going to try smoking carelessly together,
You go talk to your aunt, talk to my son, talk to me,
But we are never ever ever ever going to try smoking carelessly together,
Just kicking abnormally forever.

I didn't mean to hurt you pookie, I didn't mean to hurt you.

"Wishing I'd realized I murdered your goldfish" holy crap, this is funny...

Vampire in Bangkok
    - a teen vampire story

by Kiel

There's an admirable new girl in Bangkok and she has everybody talking. Stunningly pale and devastatingly scruffy, all the boys want her. However, Alice Barker has a secret - she's a stingy vampire.

Luke Barker is a clever, pale boy who enjoys football. He becomes fascinated by Alice who can stop cars with her bare hands. He doesn't understand why she's so standoffish.

His best friend, a thoughtful gremlin called James, helps Luke begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the pink, weathered rifle.

When bodies start turning up all over Bangkok, Luke begins to fear the worst. The gremlin urges her to report Alice to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?

He may resist Alice's bite, but can he resist her charms?

Will he be caught partying with the vampire?

(I'm more concerned about the fact that they have the same last name. xD Er, spoilers? Also, "devastatingly scruffy" is just awesome.)

"Something that you can get addicted to" ... *hits random button* "Vaseline" ... what? o.0
 

I humped a burglar and I liked it
    - In the style of Katy Perry
by Sabley
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, gear stick in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

I humped a burglar and I liked it
The taste of his ample thighs
I humped a burglar just to try it
I hope my spouse don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I humped a burglar and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter,
You're my experimental game
Just human nature,
It's not what,
Moist people do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I humped a burglar and I liked it
The smell of his big tummy
I humped a burglar just to try it
I hope my spouse don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I humped a burglar and I liked it
I liked it,

Those boys they are so magical
Ample thighs, big tummy, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I humped a burglar and I liked it
The sound of his lifeless teeth
I humped a burglar just to try it
I hope my spouse don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I humped a burglar and I liked it
I liked it

I liked the feel of his wild jaw
I liked the feel of his wild jaw.

Liverpool
    - a mystery

by Kiel

The damp, seaside town of Liverpool holds a secret.

Suzanne Superhalk has the perfect life working as a police officer in the city and bouncing with her friendly girlfriend, Polly Sweet.

However, when she finds a tiny map in her cellar, she begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Superhalk family.

A funeral leaves Suzanne with some startling questions about her past, and she sets off to idyllic Liverpool to find some answers.

At first the people of Liverpool are articulate and loving. She is intrigued by the curiously modest police officer, Molly Wu. However, after she introduces her to hard Vaseline, Suzanne slowly finds herself drawn into a web of jealousy, vandalism and perhaps, even cruelty.

Can Suzanne resist the charms of Molly Wu and uncover the secret of the tiny map before it's too late, or will her demise become yet another Liverpool legend?

(Well. This is the second story it's given me with a gay couple and it includes the words "However, after she introduces her to hard Vaseline," ... )

This one is just literally out of this world.

That's What Makes You Chubby
    - In the style of One Direction

by Zafaria

Lately I found myself dancing (dancing)
Been dreaming about you a lot (a lot)
And up in my head I'm your clown (clown)
But that's one thing you've already got.

You're sexy,
Don't know what for,
You're turning heads when you hump a hot girl,
Don't need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough.

Sweetie, you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you pick your nose gets me overwhelmed,
But when you marry a transvestite it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh, oh,
You don't know you're sexy,
If only you saw what I can see,
You'd understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know,
Oh, oh,
You don't know you're sexy,
Oh, oh,
That's what makes you sexy.

I've tried playing it cool,
But when I'm looking at you,
I can't ever be chubby,
'Cause you make my heart wash.

One way or another I'm gonna marry a transvestite,
I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you.
One way or another I'm gonna hump a hot girl,
I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you.

It feels like I'm constantly dancing,
'Cause I can't compete with your clown,
She's got eleven a penis.

I spewed coffee out my nose while reading this. That is hilarious!

Spank Me Jack Duckworth One More Time
    - In the Style of Britney Spears
by Nameless Singer
Oh snookums, snookums!
Oh Jack Duckworth, Jack Duckworth!
I must confess,
I still believe (still believe),
That I'm your mother!
Give me a sign,
Spank me Jack Duckworth one more time!

Oh snookums, snookums!
Oh George Bush, George Bush!
I'm addicted to you.
Don't you know that you're bumpy!
And I love what you do.
Don't you know that you're bumpy!

Oh snookums, snookums!
Oh Michael Caine, Michael Caine!
I think I did it again,
I made you believe that willies have bones in them,
Oh Michael Caine!
To steal candy from babies like that is just so typically me.
Oh snookums, snookums!

Oops!.. I did it again!
I fell asleep on a bus!

Oh snookums, snookums!
Oh Julie Andrews, Julie Andrews!
I think I made you believe that you can freeze ladybirds.
Oops!.. You think that you can freeze ladybirds.

Oh snookums, snookums!
I'm not that hairy!
You see my problem is this,
I don't like cheese,
Wishing that my prince will come.

Oh snookums, snookums!
Oh Jack Duckworth, Jack Duckworth!
Oh George Bush, George Bush!
Oh Michael Caine, Michael Caine!
Oh Julie Andrews, Julie Andrews!
I must confess,
I still believe (still believe),
That I'm your mother!
Give me a sign,
Spank me Jack Duckworth one more time!

If I was your repugnant clown
    - In the style of Justin Bieber

Oh
Yeah
gee

You know you love me, I know you care
Just snooze whenever, and I'll be there
You are my Irishman, you are my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart

If I was your clown, I'd never let you mash
Keep you on my arm, you'd never be alone
I can be your ears, anything you want
If I was your clown, I'd never let you mash, I'd never let you mash

Snookums, snookums, snookums gee
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like snookums, snookums, snookums gee
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

When I met you snookums my fingers went crackle
Now them spiders in my moustache won't stop stop
And even though it's a struggle love is all we got
So we gonna keep keep juggling to the mountain top

There's gonna be one more fingers going crackle
One more fingers going crackle
One more fingers going crackle

Your beard, my biggest weakness
Shouldn't have let you know
I'm always gonna do what they say (hey)
If you need me
I'll come crashing
From a thousand miles away
When you strip I strip (oh whoa)
You smoke, I smoke
Hey

Na na na, na na na, na na gee
Yeah Irishman
Na na na, na na na, na na na gee
If I was your clown
Na na na, na na na, na na na gee
Na na na, na na na, na na na gee
If I was your clown

My friends say I'm a fool to think
That you're the one for me
I guess I'm just a repugnant fool for my snookums

Fiddlesticks

(I'm dying with laughter here.)

If I was your homeless man
    - In the style of Justin Bieber

by Zafaria

Oh
Yeah
zoinks

You know you love me, I know you care
Just fart whenever, and I'll be there
You are my lady, you are my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart

If I was your man, I'd never let you wash
Keep you on my arm, you'd never be alone
I can be your thighs, anything you want
If I was your man, I'd never let you wash, I'd never let you wash

Honey Pie, Honey Pie, Honey Pie zoinks
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like Honey Pie, Honey Pie, Honey Pie zoinks
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

When I met you Honey Pie my elbows went beep
Now them ducks in my eyebrows won't stop stop
And even though it's a struggle love is all we got
So we gonna keep keep climbing to the mountain top

There's gonna be one more elbows going beep
One more elbows going beep
One more elbows going beep

Your moustache, my biggest weakness
Shouldn't have let you know
I'm always gonna do what they say (hey)
If you need me
I'll come raping
From a thousand miles away
When you eat I eat (oh whoa)
You burp, I burp
Hey

Na na na, na na na, na na zoinks
Yeah lady
Na na na, na na na, na na na zoinks
If I was your man
Na na na, na na na, na na na zoinks
Na na na, na na na, na na na zoinks
If I was your man

My friends say I'm a fool to think
That you're the one for me
I guess I'm just a homeless fool for my Honey Pie

Darnit

The Grey Moon and the Pair Of Socks
    - In the style of Grease The Musical

Grey moon, you saw me porn watching alone,
Without a dream in my heart, 
Without a boob of my own.

Grey moon, you knew just what I was there for,
You heard me saying a prayer for, 
A boob I really could care for.

And then suddenly appeared before me, the only one my arms could ever hold.
I heard somebody whisper 'hocus pocus'
But when I looked, that moon had turned to a pair of socks!

Oh oh oh...

Grey moon, now I'm no longer alone,
Without a dream in my heart, without a pair of socks of my own.

You better shape up,
'Cause I need a boob,
And instead I got a pair of socks.
You better shape up;
You better understand,
To my heart I must be true.
And this pair of socks and me are through!

We go together,
Like Kermit and Ronald McDonald, Like Ronald McDonald and Kermit.
Remembered forever,
As arrogant arrogant arrogant obnoxious-obnoxious boom de boom de boom.

Well - a well - a well - a huh...
Tell me more, tell me more,
Will I go to heaven or to hell?

Tell me more, tell me more,
Is the pair of socks a joke?

Tell me more, tell me more,
Where is my sodding boob?

Porn watching dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those porn watching nights.

:P Great re-make of Grease.

What Do You Want To Be Princess Leah?
    - In the style of The Village People

by The Red Nameless

Where can you find pleasure?
Search the world for treasure?
Where can you shut up?
Make your dreams all come true?
Where can you go and do your laundry?

In the pub!
Yes, you can shut up!
In the pub!
Yes, you can go and do your laundry!
In the pub!
Come on now Princess Leah, make a stand.
In the pub!

Princess Leah, shut up.
I said, Princess Leah, go and do your laundry.

It's slippery to cry in the pub.
It's slippery to cry in the pub.

They have washing powder,
You can shut up.

It's slippery to cry in the pub.
It's slippery to cry in the pub.

They have some pebbles,
You can go and do your laundry.

Princess Leah, are you listening to me?
I said, Princess Leah, what do you want to be?
I said, Princess Leah, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing:

My tits aren't real.

And...

It's slippery to cry in the pub.
It's slippery to cry in the pub.

The Mysterious, Formulaic Supreme Court Justice

Praise for The Mysterious, Formulaic Supreme Court Justice

- Zob Gloo

Wtf is a "deeply crumbly woman"? xD

This Love is Sexy But It's Stunning
    - In the style of Taylor Swift

by Satan

We were both snotty when I first saw you.
You scratch an anus and the flashback starts:
London is where I'm standing in the spring air.

What are you doing with that new lover?
Who wears that smooth mittens,
When I wear a delightful coat,
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for is my jimmy savile-ish dick.

So this is me humping,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry I am gay!"
And I go back to spring all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but raping eloquently,
Wishing I'd realised I am your long lost vagina.
I'd go back to spring, turn around and do some shouting.
I go back to spring quite often.

Sugar, let's do some killing,
This love is sexy but it's stunning.
It's a love story, sugar,
Just be my delightful sheep.

We are never ever ever going to try waving calmly together,
We are never ever ever going to try waving calmly together,
You go talk to your mother, talk to my godson, talk to me,
But we are never ever ever ever going to try waving calmly together,
Just sleeping dangerously forever.

I'm sorry I am gay sugar, I'm sorry I am gay.

The Tale of My Smelly Therapist Therapist 
    - A Ballad

It began on a lifeless October afternoon:
I was the most warty nurse around,
He was the most smelly therapist. 

He was my therapist, 
My smelly therapist,
My therapist.

We used to chat so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to eat together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one afternoon, one lifeless afternoon,
We decided to eat too much.
Together we scrubbed a love doll.
It was poor, so poor.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so entertaining.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

He shagged a spinster.
Alas, a spinster!
My therapist shagged a spinster.
It was sexy, so sexy.

The next day I thought my mouth had broken,
I thought my arms had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, he is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that afternoon,
That lifeless October afternoon.

My arms... ouch!
When I think of that smelly therapist,
That smelly therapist and me.

I kind of love you right now, Zafaria.

All the Married Gloves
    - In the style of Beyonce Knowles
by Sabley

All the married gloves! (All the married gloves!)
All the married gloves! (All the married gloves!)
All the married gloves! (All the married gloves!)
All the married gloves!
Now put your beard up.

Every night I eat in my bed,
Lost in a fairytale.
Can you hold my arm pits and be my guide?

Spoons filled with drums cover your skies.
What kinda dream is this?
You could be a tiny angel or a grubby pixie.
Either way I don't wanna sleep without you.

Goblins, we run this motha (yeah!)
Goblins, we run this motha (yeah!)
Goblins, we run this motha (yeah!)
Goblins, we run this motha (yeah!)
GOBLINS!

Yes! So sharp right now,
Most incredibly sharp.
Oh! So sharp. Oh! So sharp.
Yes! So sharp right now.

All the spoons who are independent,
Throw your cheek at me!
All the spoons who makin' cake,
Throw your cheek at me!
All the spoons who truly feel jealous,
Throw your cheek at me!

Tonight I'll be your sharp map.
I'm callin' all my goblins.
I know you want my delightful arm pits.
Tonight I'll be your sharp map
I'm callin' all my goblins.

Who run the world? Goblins, we run this motha - yeah!
Who run this motha? Goblins, we run this motha - yeah!
Who run the world? Goblins, we run this motha - yeah!

(Go onto letter generator and click detention letter :P)

Dear Mr Shit,

I am sorry to report that little Gayboy has been assigned a detention.

As you know, little Gayboy is usually a very naughty and stupid child. However, today I caught him abusing during class.

When I asked him to stop, he shouted, "What's Up Doc?" and began humping with his friend BigRod.

Gayboy aggravated the matter further by calling me a sexy Cow and likening my fingers to an attractive parsnip.

Little Gayboy was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow hot bras at St. Simian's Secondary.

St. Simian's Secondary prides itself on being a grubby and hairy establishment. Thus we simply cannot have children abusing and humping on the premises. Added to which, my fingers looks nothing like a parsnip, as Mr Muller will testify.

Please ensure that little Gayboy attends detention tomorrow after school, and leaves his hot clothing at home.

Yours sincerely
Mr. Fatass

*snicker*

Did you like it Kiel?

It was funny.

That's why Dr Gobblebrain is a goddess
    - In the style of Frank Sinatra

"Have you met Dr Gobblebrain?"
Someone said as we shook hands.
She was just Dr Gobblebrain to me.

Then I said, "Dr Gobblebrain,
You're a lady who understands,
I'm a man who must be horny."

"'You better shave their legs, you better not squash ants,
You better not shoot rabbits, I'm telling you why,
A circus is comin' to town!
A circus is comin' to town!
A circus is comin', comin' to town."

I practiced every day,
To find some clever    lines to say, 
To make the meaning come through...

And then I went and spoilt it all, by saying something stupid    like: 
"Can we shag yet?"

I can see it in her eyes, that she despises nasty boys, 
Like the day before.

She loves smoking pipes,
She hates rude people,
She loves eating pies.

That's why Dr Gobblebrain, 
That's why Dr Gobblebrain,
That's why Dr Gobblebrain is a goddess.

Can we shag yet?
Can we...

Stick Your Sexy and Sexy Job, Rolf Harris

Dear Rolf Harris,

I have some news, which I think you will find sexy.

Over the last one millisecond, I have found working for Spagbol Inc Of The Demented Minded both sexy and sexy.

It's fair to say that my royal bum wiper is sexy and The Anus Lickers are sexy, but this has not stopped me from finding the work sexy.

I have really enjoyed drinking with my royal bum wiper and stealing sexy vest tops from up my wife's rectum. But all good things must come to an end.

As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a gangster have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a cookbook. I dream of getting up in the morning and spanking, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a police car and I'm almost there.

Thus I must resign from my job as a gangster, to pursue my true calling as a gangster.

In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of nothing, which is why I leave with a sexy heart.

Best of luck with your continued pursuit of A model of a plastic penis..

Yours sincerely
Mr. Granger

In a whorehouse there lived a blackened, dark african children named African Child. Not a dark blackened, dark whorehouse, filled with bodies and a dark smell, nor yet a blackened, dark, blackened whorehouse with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was an african children-whorehouse, and that means an overdose of coke.

One day, after a troubling visit from the white supremacists Kony the Killa, African leaves his whorehouse and sets out in search of three blackened drugs. A quest undertaken in the company of Liberian warlords, Islam extremists and dark US sympathizers.

In the search for the white supremacists-guarded drugs, African Child surprises even himself with his suavity and skill as a prostitute.

During his travels, African rescues a rifle, an heirloom belonging to Kony. But when Kony refuses to try resolving, their friendship is over.

However, Kony is wounded at the Battle of First Liberian Civil War and the two reconcile just before African engages in some serious resolving.

African accepts one of the three blackened drugs and returns home to his whorehouse a very wealthy african children.

I'd rather come up with my own plots. But I'll try the website just for fun.

Bradley Marshall had always loved beautiful England with its good, grated Grass. It was a place where he felt Happy.

He was a Loving, intuitive, Coke drinker with Beutiful Dicks and Skinny lips. His friends saw him as a spotless, smiling Saint. Once, he had even helped an elated A vase recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of man he was.

Bradley walked over to the window and reflected on his Charming surroundings. The Rain hammered like Chatting Dogs.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sophie White. Sophie was a gentle Angel with Tall Dicks and Pretty lips.

Bradley gulped. He was not prepared for Sophie.

As Bradley stepped outside and Sophie came closer, he could see the shrill smile on her face.

Sophie gazed with the affection of 9301 virtuous tired Tigers. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Love."

Bradley looked back, even more Loving and still fingering the Shiny Plate. "Sophie, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with Generous feelings, like two cautious, confused Cats Eating at a very energetic A date, which had Pop music playing in the background and two special uncles Kissing to the beat.

Bradley regarded Sophie's Tall Dicks and Pretty lips. "I feel the same way!" revealed Bradley with a delighted grin.

Sophie looked Loved, her emotions blushing like a smelly, smoked Sausage.

Then Sophie came inside for a nice drink of Coke.

THE END 

Whelp, that was...interesting.

A Lickable Orangutan Brandishing a Pair of Monty Python Killer Rabbit Ate My Homework

Dear Mr Roppler,

Have I told you lately how much I love your fat testicles?

I am writing to you to ask for an extension on my my tits. As you know, I've always had a very slippery attitude towards deadlines. However, something unexpected happened.

My sister and I were in my lounge enjoying some smiley cauliflowers when a lickable orangutan came barging in brandishing a pair of Monty Python killer rabbits.

It looked at me with chubby eyes. I stared at its obese testicle #1. When it started singing, I knew it meant business.

I made a dive for my my tits but the lickable orangutan decided to rape them until I realised my testicle #2 and then run off dancing. I was taken aback.

So shocked was I, that I didn't realise that the lickable orangutan had grabbed my my tits until much later.

That evening, I was humping with my mother when I suddenly noticed that one of my tits was missing. I searched high and low, I even looked in someone's skirt.

Eventually, I reached the obvious conclusion - the lickable orangutan had taken my my tits to feed to its picky brother.

Thank you or being understanding and allowing me more time to complete my picky my tits.

Thanks
Mr. Milligope

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE READ THIS ONE AND POST A COMMENT ON IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

"Have I told you lately how much I love your fat testicles?"

I almost spat my water at my computer screen... I should stop drinking while reading these.

And now I have a mental image of a singing, animate testicle. Gawd, that's disturbing.

Slinging Like Two Chewy Gerbils

Dear Sweet Lips,

I cherish Prison, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a moist Snooki. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than a moist Snooki.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you raving in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous shrieking skills.

You have ears like moist asparagus spears and the most moist toe I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to moisturize those moist asparagus spear ears and spank that moist toe.

You're so special with your mocking ways. The way you handle your dirty ex husband shows great generosity and chastity.

I know that to you I'm just an ample nutter but I think we could be happy together, slinging like two chewy gerbils.

Please, say you'll be mine Sweet Lips!

All my love
You know who

Galactic Hard Ragga Bomb Wars
    - a science fiction novel

by A Black Shower...?

A long, long time ago in a hard, hard galaxy...

After leaving the lustful planet Liberia, a group of NATO workers fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a pleasurable, space whorehouse.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by General Butt-Naked, a sausage-like dumpster capable of unconsented stimulation and even anal fisting.

Terrified, a penetrating pit known as The Killa Kony flees the Empire, with her protector, African Child.

They head for Monrovia on the planet Congo. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Child uses her hard Ragga Bomb to defend The Killa.

Child and Pit The Killa decide it's time to leave Congo and steal a trash scooter to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of Gay muslims. Child is attacked and the pit is captured by the Gay muslims and taken back to Monrovia.

Child must fight to save Pit The Killa but when she accidentally unearths a man stimulating the thickest sausage, the entire future of the hard, lustful galaxy is at stake.

A romance novel.

"I'm going to need Licker Phones, big, Licker Phones."

The night of the Wedding changes everything for Bradley Marshall, a 14-year-old Doctor from Home.

One moment, he is discussing Books with his Pretty Lover, Sophie Black; the next, watching with horror as Ugly People Lick each other.

He knows these People came from Bar but he can't prove it - at least not without some Licker Phones.

The Beautiful, Sexy man knows that his Cosy life is over. He acquires some Licker Phones and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from Ugly People.

However, Bradley finds himself troubled by his Cosy ideals and becomes overwhelmed with moral questions. Will his conscience allow him to do whatever is needed to stop the Ugly People?

Praise for Bradley Marshall's Diary

"Never have there been more chilling villains than Ugly People that Lick each other."

- The Daily Tale

"Are we seriously supposed to find a Beautiful and Sexy Doctor from Home heroic?"

- Enid Kibbler

... You'd think the critics might complain about, you know, finding a 14 year old doctor a believable character and, you know, this romance not pedophilic.

I know right xD

Bradley Marshall is a sexy Doctor from Sandy England. He leads an Idyllic life. However, all that changes when Bradley books a summer holiday to Yellow Spain.

At first Bradley finds Spain very Beautiful. Then there's the mysterious, Pretty Nurse, Shopie Brown, who makes him feel Happy.

When Shopie invites him on a Sex expedition, Bradley begins to realise that Shopie is a deeply Generous and Charismatic woman.

Bradley knows in his heart that Shopie is the woman for him. However, to secure his happiness, Bradley must fend off the Beautiful Teacher, Chloe Lakeman, who wants to get her claws into Shopie.

Using her Sharp Knife and a mutual love of Sex, Bradley sets out to snare Shopie once and for all. But will the Pretty Doctor return 

Praise for A Mutual Love of Sex

"Sizzling hot. I wish a mysterious, Pretty Doctor would fall into my life."

- The Daily Tale

"The dullest summer story ever written. How would Sharp Knife and a mutual love of Sex attract anybody?"

- Enid Kibbler

"I'm going to rush out and book a Sex expedition."

- Hit the Spoof

"I once went to Spain on holiday but I didn't find it Beautiful."

- Zob Gloop

The Warped Sausage
    - a short story

Cuthbert Wordsworthington looked at the warped sausage in his hands and felt barmy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his rainy surroundings. He had always hated empty Falmouth with its lonely, lively litter. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel barmy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Hildegarde Snozcumber. Hildegarde was a scheming killer with chubby eyebrows and wobbly toenails.

Cuthbert gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a callous, malicious, whiskey drinker with dirty eyebrows and moist toenails. His friends saw him as a cloudy, careful cannibal. Once, he had even helped an ashamed 200 year old granny cross the road.

But not even a callous person who had once helped an ashamed 200 year old granny cross the road, was prepared for what Hildegarde had in store today.

The typhoon teased like eating badgers, making Cuthbert murderous.

As Cuthbert stepped outside and Hildegarde came closer, he could see the vigorous glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want murderous vengeance," Hildegarde bellowed, in a tactless tone. She slammed her fist against Cuthbert's chest, with the force of 187 hamsters. "I frigging hate you, Cuthbert Wordsworthington."

Cuthbert looked back, even more murderous and still fingering the warped sausage. "Hildegarde, I ate your mother," he replied.

They looked at each other with moist feelings, like two knobby, kindhearted kittens killing at a very callous wedding, which had jazz music playing in the background and two controlling uncles rampaging to the beat.

Suddenly, Hildegarde lunged forward and tried to punch Cuthbert in the face. Quickly, Cuthbert grabbed the warped sausage and brought it down on Hildegarde's skull.

Hildegarde's chubby eyebrows trembled and her wobbly toenails wobbled. She looked angry, her body raw like a hushed, high hawk.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Hildegarde Snozcumber was dead.

Cuthbert Wordsworthington went back inside and made himself a nice glass of whiskey.

THE END 

The Drizzle that Rained like Chatting Maggots
    - a short story

by Aman

Luke MacDonald was thinking about Una Bishop again. Una was a stable wally with greasy fingers and fragile eyelashes.

Luke walked over to the window and reflected on his picturesque surroundings. He had always loved grand Manchester with its gloopy, grotesque gates. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel calm.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a stable figure of Una Bishop.

Luke gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a popular, deranged, cocoa drinker with ruddy fingers and grubby eyelashes. His friends saw him as a brief, bewildered brute. Once, he had even saved a damp disabled person that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a popular person who had once saved a damp disabled person that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Una had in store today.

The drizzle rained like chatting maggots, making Luke sad. Luke grabbed a damp blade that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Luke stepped outside and Una came closer, he could see the vague glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want a wifi code," Una bellowed, in a gracious tone. She slammed her fist against Luke's chest, with the force of 229 owls. "I frigging love you, Luke MacDonald."

Luke looked back, even more sad and still fingering the damp blade. "Una, oh my God they killed Kenny," he replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two obedient, ordinary ostriches shouting at a very callous Valentine's meal, which had trance music playing in the background and two creepy uncles rampaging to the beat.

Suddenly, Una lunged forward and tried to punch Luke in the face. Quickly, Luke grabbed the damp blade and brought it down on Una's skull.

Una's greasy fingers trembled and her fragile eyelashes wobbled. She looked sparkly, her body raw like a huge, hollow hawk.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Una Bishop was dead.

Luke MacDonald went back inside and made himself a nice mug of cocoa.

THE END 

Not gonna lie, I'm tempted to make one about your mustache. :P

You bitch witch

The Hairy Mustache
    - a mystery

by Sabley

?

The idyllic, English town of CYS holds a secret.

Aman Mustachington has the perfect life working as a hairdresser in the city and shampooing mustaches with his sympathetic girlfriend, Laura Nolan.

However, when he finds a hairy mustache in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Mustachington family.

The shaving incident leaves Aman with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to pretty CYS to find some answers.

At first the people of CYS are giving and gracious. He is intrigued by the curiously intuitive teacher, Charlotte Trescothik. However, after she introduces him to hard mustache watching, Aman slowly finds himself drawn into a web of theft, not having a mustache and perhaps, even mockery of mustaches.

Can Aman resist the charms of Charlotte Trescothik and uncover the secret of the hairy mustache before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another CYS legend?

Dammit Sabley, now I need to do a witch hunt. 

hahah! My evil plot worked, I'm glad the story amused you :P

EDIT:

Praise for The Hairy Mustache

"Who wouldn't give up a life of shampooing mustaches with their sympathetic girlfriend to spend a little time with a curiously intuitive teacher?"

- The Daily Tale

"About as mysterious as finding a poo in a public toilet. However, The Hairy Mustache does offer a valuable lesson about not getting into hard mustache watching."

- Enid Kibbler

"The only mystery, is why did I keep reading after page one?"

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

XD

Wrriors catz CYS
    - a short story

by Untitled writer

Sabley Witch looked at the giant rock in her hands and felt stressed.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her spam surroundings. She had always loved wrriors catz CYS with its stinky, successful Stories. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel stressed.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Aman Witchburner. Aman was a ruthless God with tall spots and brown fingernails.

Sabley gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a patient, daring, whiskey drinker with russian spots and witch fingernails. Her friends saw her as a weary, wicked Witch. Once, she had even revived a dying, BerkaZerka.

But not even a patient person who had once revived a dying, BerkaZerka, was prepared for what Aman had in store today.

The rain hammered like drinking Frogs, making Sabley tired.

As Sabley stepped outside and Aman came closer, she could see the annoying smile on her face.

"I am here because I want revenge," Aman bellowed, in a clumsy tone. She slammed her fist against Sabley's chest, with the force of 3371 Penguins. "I frigging hate you, Sabley Witch."

Sabley looked back, even more tired and still fingering the giant rock. "Aman, "NOOO"," she replied.

They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two magnificent, melted Mustaches eating at a very friendly Witch Burning, which had Tribal music playing in the background and two down to earth uncles talking to the beat.

Sabley studied Aman's tall spots and brown fingernails. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you revenge," she explained, in pitying tones.

Aman looked lonely, her body raw like a stagnant, short sandwich.

Sabley could actually hear Aman's body shatter into 4787 pieces. Then the ruthless God hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Sabley's nerves tonight.

THE END

Ahahaha, oh my gosh I died laughing at the "They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two magnificent, melted Mustaches eating at a very friendly Witch Burning, which had Tribal music playing in the background and two down to earth uncles talking to the beat." part. That was hilarious xD

I still win, you made yourself a female in the story :P

Erm, I am a female. 

>_>

<_<

Holy... How did I miss that?

Ha ha, XD 

...

...

... what?

Oh, this was beautiful. XD

Nah, not actually female. XD

I knew it! 

For a second there I thought I was crazy. Just for that prank, I give this win to Aman. I bow to your superior skills. *bows*

Yeah, I realize that, but for one brief second, I questioned everything I ever thought I knew...

... and then the next second, after I realized you were joking, I felt like joining in with "You, too, huh?"

That would have been beautiful. XD

Dammit, Aman ... shouldn't have fessed up so quickly... xD

You know, lol, now I'm actually a little curious, would you two have believed me if I did? :P

@Aman

@simplesabley

Yeah same here, about the questioning part.

I figured either he was a master troll who pulled off pretending to be a man for two years or he was a woman with a serious facial hair problem. xD

DONT JUDGE

*judge, judge, judge*

Oh no judging here, but it does exist... I went to highschool with a girl that had one, it was more impressive than most of the boys' mustaches at that age.

EDIT: Before anyone thinks I'm mean. The chick did come back after the summer with a waxed lip and she immediately became the hot chick. 

Indeed, it does. Hell, there is a condition that makes you grow enough bodily hair to make you wonder if that's where the idea for werewolves came from, and both men and women can get it.

Oh I've seen that before. There's also a condition that makes your skin turn smurf blue permanently.

Happens if you drink silver, yeah...

Noisy Philadelphia
    - a short story

by John Doe

James Ferguson was thinking about Mary Barlow again. Mary was a stingy brute with tall fingers and brunette thighs.

James walked over to the window and reflected on his dirty surroundings. He had always loved noisy Philadelphia with its uninterested, ugliest umbrellas. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel jumpy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a stingy figure of Mary Barlow.

James gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a malicious, admirable, tea drinker with squat fingers and fluffy thighs. His friends saw him as an enthusiastic, encouraging elephant. Once, he had even revived a dying, deaf person.

But not even a malicious person who had once revived a dying, deaf person, was prepared for what Mary had in store today.

The drizzle rained like singing hamsters, making James confident. James grabbed a damp torch that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As James stepped outside and Mary came closer, he could see the busy smile on her face.

Mary gazed with the affection of 2079 tight-fisted gigantic goldfish. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want some more Twitter followerss."

James looked back, even more confident and still fingering the damp torch. "Mary, I just don't need you in my life any more," he replied.

They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two pickled, pong pigeons hopping at a very gentle wake, which had classical music playing in the background and two predatory uncles running to the beat.

James regarded Mary's tall fingers and brunette thighs. "I feel the same way!" revealed James with a delighted grin.

Mary looked unstable, her emotions blushing like a kaleidoscopic, keen knife.

Then Mary came inside for a nice cup of tea.

THE END

Goodbye Sugar Grubby Guppy

Dear sugar,

To me, you are like a very grubby guppy and I'm not sure that I need a very grubby guppy in my life right now.

Things started to go wrong when I caught you juggling with my puppy.

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that your twin sister is extremely fluorescent and your sister-in-law is, without a doubt, the most spiky person I've ever known.

It's true, we've had some baggy times punching together. You have cheeks like terrifying spring onions and the most super toe I've ever seen.

Your personality is like a really scrummy snake snacking into my skull. When I see you loving it makes me want to steal your spring onion cheeks and post them to London.

I lie in bed at night wishing you were a stripper and not a guppy who likes juggling with my puppy.

What I'm trying to say, is take your super toe and go.

Yours no more

Boop Mcboop

Cheating Like Two Stupid Gerbils

Dear Lynette,

I cherish the police station, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a hideous fool. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than a hideous fool.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you juggling in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous juggling skills.

You have chins like dotty squashes and the most crazy nipple I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to google those dotty squashe chins and feed that crazy nipple.

You're so special with your annoying ways. The way you handle your tasteless brother-in-law shows great kindness and humility.

I know that to you I'm just a stripy nutter but I think we could be happy together, cheating like two stupid gerbils.

Please, say you'll be mine Lynette!

All my love

You know who

Doctor, You Know When You Danced Brutally?

    - a drabble

by No One

"Doctor, what do you think of chubby fields?"

"Er... I don't know dear."

"What about my nippy fur? Some say its like a deep monkey."

"Um..."

"Do you think my smell is like a scary banana?"

"Where on earth did you hear a thing like that?"

"Father says that my sole is like a deprived rock that likes hopping enjoyably whilst waving its abs."

"That's... um... nice. Perhaps we should talk about something else now."

"You know when you danced brutally? I heard it was like badly rampaging."

"Oh look, hail outside!"

"But Doctor, I am a short hawk!"

(Boom!)

What Could This Thing With Stupid Thighs Be?
    - a drabble

by Dick Phuk

It has stupid thighs and thankful, troubled teeth, which are flightworthy. Rarely have stupid thighs reminded me more of the fallopian tubes of a brown Koala.

Its cyber-brain is as flawless as an exemplary, smart key, which has been crapping energetically in the magical, smelly Moon (Plorp!).

Naturally, it has all the glory of a finger, which once banged randomly. There is nothing like a finger that once banged randomly.

Lest not forget the vague, vacant vibes of a vain vaseline cheerfully walking.

Bob likes its stupid thighs. James Woods likes its flightworthy teeth.

It is a fat piano after all!

Phil Godfrey, the Orc
    - a fantasy novel

by Dick Phuk

In a Mudhole there lived a dirty, homely Orc named Phil Godfrey. Not a powerful strange, evil Mudhole, filled with rocks and an agile smell, nor yet a sexy, Scottish, leggy Mudhole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was an Orc-Mudhole, and that means wetness.

One day, after a troubling visit from the sex offender Ford Evil, Phil leaves his Mudhole and sets out in search of three blatant Dragons. A quest undertaken in the company of Penguinites, Walrusses and young Pollywogs.

In the search for the sex offender-guarded Mudholes, Phil Godfrey surprises even himself with his wealth and skill as a Jew.

During his travels, Phil rescues a spork, an heirloom belonging to Ford. But when Ford refuses to try Pants-crapping, their friendship is over.

However, Ford is wounded at the Battle of The Carnage of Brandywine and the two reconcile just before Phil engages in some serious Pants-crapping.

Phil accepts one of the three blatant Dragons and returns home to his Mudhole a very wealthy Orc.

The Peculiar Knife
    - a short story

by Fireplay

Udo Kuwabara looked at the peculiar knife in his hands and felt shocked.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always loved quiet Nippon with its rotten, rough rivers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel shocked.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Miya Sugai. Miya was a ruthless academic with short elbows and spiky toenails.

Udo gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a snooty, selfish, tea drinker with chubby elbows and tall toenails. His friends saw him as a lovely, late lover. Once, he had even revived a dying, kitten.

But not even a snooty person who had once revived a dying, kitten, was prepared for what Miya had in store today.

The wind blew like sitting lizards, making Udo irritable.

As Udo stepped outside and Miya came closer, he could see the bumpy smile on her face.

"I am here because I want death," Miya bellowed, in a hungry tone. She slammed her fist against Udo's chest, with the force of 2747 cats. "I frigging hate you, Udo Kuwabara."

Udo looked back, even more irritable and still fingering the peculiar knife. "Miya, mARRY ME," he replied.

They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two many, mute mice talking at a very stupid Funeral, which had piano music playing in the background and two arrogant uncles drinking to the beat.

Udo studied Miya's short elbows and spiky toenails. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you death," he explained, in pitying tones.

Miya looked worried, her body raw like a thoughtful, tricky teapot.

Udo could actually hear Miya's body shatter into 943 pieces. Then the ruthless academic hurried away into the distance.

Not even a cup of tea would calm Udo's nerves tonight.

THE END 

(All I did was replace the characters name with Miya and Udo.)

XD

Here is a another based on a strange and insane romance.

Along came Aman
    - an insane romance

by Fireplay

Berka Zerka is a suited, hairy and arrogant author from the country. His life is going nowhere until he meets Aman Mustache, a curvy, slender man with a passion for star gazing.

Berka takes an instant disliking to Aman and the peculiar and violent ways he learnt during his years in the city.

However, when a Penguinite tries to bake Berka, Aman springs to the rescue. Berka begins to notices that Aman is actually rather tricky at heart.

But, the pressures of Aman's job as a navigator leave him blind to Berka's affections and Berka takes up writing stories to try an distract himself.

Finally, when snotty psychiatrist, The CYS Community , threatens to come between them, Aman has to act fast. But will they ever find the insane love that they think they deserve?

Praise for Along came Aman

"I fell in love with the dangerous Aman Mustache. Last night I dreamed that he was in my teapot."

- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being slapped with a dead fish, but Along came Aman does deliver a strong social lesson."

- Enid Kibbler

"I love the bit where a Penguinite tries to bake Berka - nearly fell off my seat."

- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."

- Zob Gloop

(New Song for everybody. It's about America... I think.)

F***
    - An Original Song

by Unknown

I get on with life as a Drunkard,
I'm a Fat kinda person.
I like Watching Netflix on Sundays,
I like Drinking in the week.
I like to contemplate Beer.
But when I start to daydream,
My mind turns straight to America.

Tralala tralala...

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about America with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's Beer making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
Beer or...
America?I like to use words like 'F***,'
I like to use words like 'N***er.'
I like to use words about Beer.
But when I stop my talking,
My mind turns straight to America.

Tralala tralala...

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about America with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's Beer making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
Beer or...
America?I like to hang out with Mr. T.V.,
I like to kick back with Delivery Guy,
But when left alone,
My mind turns straight to America.

Tralala tralala...

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about America with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's Beer making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
Beer or...
America?I'm not too fond of Nazis,
I really hate Idiots,
But I just think back to America,
And I'm happy once again.

Tralala tralala... 

Yes, I'm a copycat haha - but Fireplay is onto something!

Poisonous Yasuo's Grave
    - a short story by Steeple Carson Olaf Trevesky The Fourth

Miya Goosyknickers was thinking about Udo Knucklebumpkin again. Udo was a jaded interpretive dancer with big boned ears and hairy legs.

Miya walked over to the window and reflected on her shadowed surroundings. She had always loved poisonous Yasuo's Grave with its curly, cheerful creeping dead things. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel happy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a jaded figure of Udo Knucklebumpkin.

Miya gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a smarmy, congenial, sheep's blood drinker with way too short ears and ample legs. Her friends saw her as a high-pitched, heavy hot babe. Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a harsh one-armed lobster.

But not even a smarmy person who had once jumped into a river and saved a harsh one-armed lobster, was prepared for what Udo had in store today.

The fog teased like eye poking guppies, making Miya euphoric. Miya grabbed an effervescent sponge that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Miya stepped outside and Udo came closer, she could see the excited smile on his face.

Udo gazed with the affection of 8389 unhinged strange squirrels. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a pair of fox ears."

Miya looked back, even more euphoric and still fingering the effervescent sponge. "Udo, you need a bath very very badly," she replied.

They looked at each other with enraged feelings, like two obedient, open ostriches backstabbing at a very creepy Fury Con, which had bagpipe music playing in the background and two distracted uncles hand-washing to the beat.

Miya studied Udo's big boned ears and hairy legs. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Miya in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Udo."

Udo looked distraught, his emotions raw like a silky, substantial spoon.

Miya could actually hear Udo's emotions shatter into 8876 pieces. Then the jaded interpretive dancer hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of sheep's blood would calm Miya's nerves tonight.

THE END

The Sky that Teased like Farting Turtles
    - a short story

by Snapez Shaparoo

Fart Mitchell had always hated dark The Street with its hard, handsome houses. It was a place where he felt mad.

He was a crazy, big, rum drinker with skinny armpits and fat man boobs. His friends saw him as a nervous, new nun. Once, he had even helped a sharp old fat lady cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Fart walked over to the window and reflected on his crowded surroundings. The sky teased like farting turtles.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Astri Moy. Astri was a helpful theif with short armpits and ugly man boobs.

Fart gulped. He was not prepared for Astri.

As Fart stepped outside and Astri came closer, he could see the rabblesnatching glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want his money," Astri bellowed, in a fat tone. He slammed his fist against Fart's chest, with the force of 6270 lamas. "I frigging hate you, Fart Mitchell."

Fart looked back, even more sad and still fingering the sharp knife. "Astri, gimmie all your money," he replied.

They looked at each other with scared feelings, like two breakable, brawny bunnies slicing at a very sharing funeral, which had rap music playing in the background and two hateful uncles hurting to the beat.

Suddenly, Astri lunged forward and tried to punch Fart in the face. Quickly, Fart grabbed the sharp knife and brought it down on Astri's skull.

Astri's short armpits trembled and his ugly man boobs wobbled. He looked greedy, his body raw like a mushy, miniature moneybag.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Astri Moy was dead.

Fart Mitchell went back inside and made himself a nice drink of rum.

THE END 

This is a strange story...

Poor Udo...

Pretend this post isn't here

Udo's every ugly guy who can't get a date.

The Damp that Teased like Ravishing Dogs
    - a short story

by A Brown Shower.

African Children was thinking about Palestinian Children again. Palestinian was a desparate legion of lusty angels with lascivious hair and plump eyes.

African walked over to the window and reflected on his exciting surroundings. He had always loved filthy the African Jungles of China with its attractive, average anal bamboo toys. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sensual.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a desparate figure of Palestinian Children.

African gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a wet, rather turned-on, blood-mixed urine drinker with curvaceous hair and pulchritudinous eyes. His friends saw him as a large, loopy legion of devils. Once, he had even helped a stale sex slave recover from a flying accident.

But not even a wet person who had once helped a stale sex slave recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Palestinian had in store today.

The damp teased like ravishing dogs, making African in-heat. African grabbed a firm sausage that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As African stepped outside and Palestinian came closer, he could see the silent smile on her face.

Palestinian glared with all the wrath of 6136 thirsty red rabbits. She said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want slave labor."

African looked back, even more in-heat and still fingering the firm sausage. "Palestinian, we haven't enough children," he replied.

They looked at each other with promiscuous feelings, like two cruel, cuddly cats perverting at a very needy Mr. Kony's funeral, which had soft jazz music playing in the background and two alluring uncles pumping to the beat.

African studied Palestinian's lascivious hair and plump eyes. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began African in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't hate you Palestinian."

Palestinian looked curvaceous, her emotions raw like a panicky, purple pillow.

African could actually hear Palestinian's emotions shatter into 8130 pieces. Then the desparate legion of lusty angels hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of blood-mixed urine would calm African's nerves tonight.

THE END 

@Sethaniel @Drakilian

Vampire in London
    - a teen vampire story

by John Doe

There's an intelligent new guy in London and she has everybody talking. Stunningly tall and devastatingly handsome, all the girls want him. However, Adam Roberts has a secret - he's a clumsy vampire.

Veronica ChristChurch is a splendid, podgy girl who enjoys baking. She becomes fascinated by Adam who can stop werewolves with his bare hands. She doesn't understand why she's so standoffish.

Her best friend, a grateful vampire called Roy, helps Veronica begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the red, crumpled Bishop's Sacrifice.

When bodies start turning up all over London, Veronica begins to fear the worst. The vampire urges her to report Adam to the police and she knows she should, so what's stopping her?

She may resist Adam's bite, but can she resist his charms?

Will she be caught hopping with the vampire?

@Aman: Veronica is not podgy.  That's not even an American word!  

Maybe in your mind, but we're talking canon, not what the GM says. 

Nah, it's canon that she's attractive.  

>_>

Then Jared needs a go.

Yes.  This will happen.  

Oh gawd

Jared and Renzo can take turns being whipped!

The game takes place in England, so it works!

@Sethaniel is this better?

There's something about Veronica
    - a hot romance

by Aman

Renzo LastName is a stunning, slender and hopeful Assasin from Rome. His life is going nowhere until he meets Veronica Christchurch, a pale, hot woman with a passion for church stuff.

Renzo takes an instant liking to Veronica and the kind and caring ways she learnt during her years in London.

However, when a mass murderer tries to harm Renzo, Veronica springs to the rescue. Renzo begins to notices that Veronica is actually rather brave at heart.

But, the pressures of Veronica's job as a Nun leave her blind to Renzo's affections and Renzo takes up hurting little children to try and distract hmself.

Finally, when callous Scotsman, Roy Sinclair, threatens to come between them, Veronica has to act fast. But will they ever find the hot love that they deserve?

That is in fact exactly what happened.

Does Veronica have a last name? 

Probably. So does Renzo.

Are we ever going to learn their names? XD

We'll say. . . probably.

The Dirty Katana
    - a mystery
by Memoirs of Udo

The Asian, Burning town of Mythic Nippon holds a secret.

Keitaro Hokusai has the perfect life working as a Samurai in the city and Killing eachother for lolz with his Impulsive boyfriend, Kirito Kirigaya.

However, when he finds a Dirty Katana in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Hokusai family.

A Tournament leaves Keitaro with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to Dark Mythic Nippon to find some answers.

At first the people of Mythic Nippon are Large and Irreverant. He is intrigued by the curiously Replaceable Chinese-bastard, Jie Hu. However, after he introduces him to hard Role-playing, Keitaro slowly finds himself drawn into a web of Randomness, Bloody-murder and perhaps, even Arson.

Can Keitaro resist the charms of Jie Hu and uncover the secret of the Dirty Katana before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Mythic Nippon legend?

---

Praise for The Dirty Katana

"Who wouldn't give up a life of Killing eachother for lolz with their Impulsive boyfriend to spend a little time with a curiously Replaceable Chinese-bastard?"
- The Daily Tale
"About as mysterious as finding a poo in a public toilet. However, The Dirty Katana does offer a valuable lesson about not getting into hard Role-playing."
- Enid Kibbler
"The only mystery, is why did I keep reading after page one?"
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."

XD

Someone like Miya
    - a Squirrely-sexy-timies romance
by The Mystic Writings of Roka
Udo Kuwabara is a nose-picking, ugly and romantic Forest Ward from Sendai. His life is going nowhere until he meets Miya Sugai, a vengeful, animalistic woman with a passion for animals.

Udo takes an instant disliking to Miya and the quick and blunt ways she learnt during her years in Nippon.

However, when a Archer tries to dump Udo, Miya springs to the rescue. Udo begins to notices that Miya is actually rather loves animals at heart.

But, the pressures of Miya's job as a Samurai leave her blind to Udo's affections and Udo takes up Honor to try an distract herself.

Finally, when over-powered Foxkin, Udo's uncouth & overall unwantability, threatens to come between them, Miya has to act fast. But will they ever find the Squirrely-sexy-timies love that they deserve?

---

Praise for Someone like Miya

"I fell in love with the curious Miya Sugai. Last night I dreamed that she was in my teapot."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being slapped with a dead fish, but Someone like Miya does deliver a strong social lesson."
- Enid Kibbler
"I love the bit where a Archer tries to dump Udo - nearly fell off my seat."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."

Gracious Harriet Zeus
    - a short story

Raymond Russell was thinking about Harriet Zeus again. Harriet was a gracious author with hairy moles and beautiful ankles.

Raymond walked over to the window and reflected on his damp surroundings. He had always loved wild Plymouth with its knobbly, knowledgeable kettles. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel active.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a gracious figure of Harriet Zeus.

Raymond gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an arrogant, peculiar, cocoa drinker with charming moles and curvy ankles. His friends saw him as a mashed, magnificent muppet. Once, he had even rescued a melodic toddler from a burning building.

But not even an arrogant person who had once rescued a melodic toddler from a burning building, was prepared for what Harriet had in store today.

The sleet rained like talking pigeons, making Raymond surprised. Raymond grabbed a damp teapot that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Raymond stepped outside and Harriet came closer, he could see the encouraging glint in her eye.

"Look Raymond," growled Harriet, with an articulate glare that reminded Raymond of gracious horses. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a pencil. You owe me 1476 pounds."

Raymond looked back, even more surprised and still fingering the damp teapot. "Harriet, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with active feelings, like two plain, puny pigeons sleeping at a very cute carol service, which had trance music playing in the background and two hungry uncles dancing to the beat.

Raymond studied Harriet's hairy moles and beautiful ankles. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Raymond. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Harriet. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Raymond. "Now get your hairy moles out of here before I hit you with this damp teapot."

Harriet looked sad, her wallet raw like a pong, pongy piano.

Raymond could actually hear Harriet's wallet shatter into 1476 pieces. Then the gracious author hurried away into the distance.

Not even a mug of cocoa would calm Raymond's nerves tonight.

(Damn, Harriet has a fragile wallet)

(Also, "fingering damp teapot" just sounds too dirty to be a coincidence. I used Randomization...)

If you type in random gibberish, it makes the actual words funnier.

A long, long time ago in a Popymo, Popymo galaxy...

After leaving the Tordmokin planet Plopfarkin, a group of Jews fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a Plorpf, space bork.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Ford Fuckwit, a dastardly strawberry pudding worshipper capable of murder and even REPUBLICANISM.

Terrified, a biddleshite plarpf known as Miya flees the Empire, with her protector, Udo.

They head for Cystia on the planet MOON. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Udo uses his Popymo fist to defend Miya.

Udo Plarpf Miya decide it's time to leave MOON and steal a Jiggywizzer to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of Penguinites. Po is attacked and the Jiggywizzer is captured by the Penguinites and taken back to Cystia.

Udo must fight to save Plarpf Miya but when he accidentally unearths a Tipobopf dooder, the entire future of the Popymo, Tordmokin galaxy is at stake.

Actually, nevermind, I think the title was the funniest part.

Galactic Hairy Rope Wars
    - a science fiction novel

by GabbyElla

A long, long time ago in a hairy, hairy galaxy...

After leaving the squirty planet Venus, a group of witches fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a deserted, space towers.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Annabelle Godfrey, an itialivcanic dragon capable of helping old people and even donating to charity.

Terrified, a nippy ghost known as Mildred Ball flees the Empire, with her protector, Tony Chen.

They head for Gieesgehsf on the planet Dagobah. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Chen uses his hairy rope to defend Mildred.

Chen and Ghost Mildred decide it's time to leave Dagobah and steal a digger to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of aliens. Chen is attacked and the ghost is captured by the aliens and taken back to Gieesgehsf.

Chen must fight to save Ghost Mildred but when he accidentally unearths a poopish book, the entire future of the hairy, squirty galaxy is at stake.
 

Praise for Galactic Hairy Rope Wars

"I really, really, really hope that Chen saves Ghost Mildred because I love this story soooooo much!"

- The Daily Tale

"An itialivcanic dragon, a tribe of aliens and a nippy ghost - haven't we seen this before somewhere?"

- Enid Kibbler

The Murdering Expedition

    - a summer's tale

by Ashton O'Malley

Eaten Pigeon is an adorable bard from sleazy Europe. He leads a crap-filled life. However, all that changes when Eaten books a summer holiday to dangerous sewer.

At first Eaten finds sewer very infested. Then there's the mysterious, brave butcher, Katie Kat Khan, who makes him feel uncomfortable.

When Katie Kat invites him on a murdering expedition, Eaten begins to realise that Katie Kat is a deeply cowardly and flavourful woman.

Eaten knows in his heart that Katie Kat is the woman for him. However, to secure his happiness, Eaten must fend off the greedy philospher, Duche Fisher, who wants to get his claws into Katie Kat.

Using her gross beers and a mutual love of pie throwing, Eaten sets out to snare Katie Kat once and for all. But will the brave bard return his affections?

Praise for The Murdering Expedition

"Sizzling hot. I wish a mysterious, brave bard would fall into my life."

- The Daily Tale

"The dullest summer story ever written. How would gross beers and a mutual love of pie throwing attract anybody?"

- Enid Kibbler

"I'm going to rush out and book a murdering expedition."

- Hit the Spoof

"I once went to a sewer on holiday but I didn't find it infested."

- Zob Goop

_________________________________________________________

Re: Your Decomposing and Bloody Shed

Dear Mr Why Is There Blood Everywhere,

Thank you for providing me with a very decomposing and bloody shed over the last ten years. I have really enjoyed dealing with the dead neighbours, particularly the one who likes cutting in the middle of the night.

I also love clearing up after the a sadistic giraffes that seems to roam the neighbourhood. I once caught two giraffes loving in the cellar.

Incidentally, the cellar is like a really grimy slaughter house and the torture chamber has ivy growing on the walls.

Perhaps, given that you deem 3 Murderous Drive an acceptable place to live, you would like to inhabit it for a while. When it snows, pixies fall through the roof. But I'm sure you won't mind that, given that you thought it suitable conditions for me.

The area is relatively crime free, during my time here, I have only known of two drug raids and three banana thefts, making my shed a steal at the current rent.

It is with a most tasteless heart that I hereby give notice on 3 Murderous Drive.

I've left a pair of a sadistic giraffes breathing in the bath to express my gratitude.

Yours sincerely

Dr. Redd

Punished for likening my scales to a disruptive cabbage

Dear Mrs Dragonborn,

I am sorry to report that little Hero has been assigned a detention.

As you know, little Hero is usually a very loud and rough child. However, today I caught him fighting during class.

When I asked him to stop, he shouted, "Fus Ro Dah!" and began slaying with his friend Farkas.

Hero aggravated the matter further by calling me a dramatic dragon and likening my scales to a disruptive cabbage.

Little Hero was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow golden amulets at Elder Scrolls Elementary School.

Elder Scrolls Elementary School prides itself on being a legendary and amazing establishment. Thus we simply cannot have children fighting and slaying on the premises. Added to which, my scales looks nothing like a cabbage, as Mr Septim will testify.

Please ensure that little Hero attends detention tomorrow after school, and leaves his golden clothing at home.

Yours sincerely

She-In-Shadows

:P Mine was better.
 

@Aman @Tanstaafl @Drakilian

Death by Bone sword arm
    - a crime thriller

by X

Mangled eyeballs have been turning up all over Whitechapel and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a bone sword arm, and still nobody has a clue who the sleazy killer is.

Roy Bob Sinclair is an honorable and loyal vampire with a fondness for fleshcrafting. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the cheating killer.

When his friend, Veronica, is kidnapped, Roy Sinclair finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a sexy teapot.

He enlists the help of a honorable thaumaturge called Diarmid Sinclair.

Can Sinclair help Sinclair overcome his kinky sex addiction and find the answers before the lustful killer and his deadly bone sword arm strike again?
 

Praise for Death by Bone sword arm

"Roy Sinclair is the best detective ever. A passion for fleshcrafting and kinky sex is something we all can relate to."

- The Daily Tale

"About as scary as a minute ant, but Death by Bone sword arm does deliver an important message about the dangers of a bone sword arm."

- Enid Kibbler

"As always, a honorable thaumaturge makes the best sidekick."

- Hit the Spoof

The surprise twist ending is that Roy was the killer all along!

XD

XD

What... what is this. XD

Wow I could've saved myself a lot of time!

Callous Eternal
    - a short story
by You know who

Eternal was thinking about Mistress again. Mistress was a mean goddess with thin fingers and smooth eyes.

Eternal walked over to the window and reflected on his pretty surroundings. He had always loved grand Emperor's Palace with its resonant, relieved rooms. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel surprised.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a mean figure of Mistress .

Eternal gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a callous, vile, water drinker with dark fingers and beautiful eyes. His friends saw him as a wet, wonderful warrior. Once, he had even rescued a better disabled person from a burning building.

But not even a callous person who had once rescued a better disabled person from a burning building, was prepared for what Mistress had in store today.

The rain hammered like shouting cats, making Eternal delighted. Eternal grabbed a solid sword that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Eternal stepped outside and Mistress came closer, he could see the shaggy smile on her face.

"I am here because I want rough buttsex," Mistress bellowed, in a proud tone. She slammed her fist against Eternal's chest, with the force of 8416 tortoises. "I frigging love you, Eternal ."

Eternal looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the solid sword. "Mistress, maybe if I raped you then you'd learn your place," he replied.

They looked at each other with ambivalent feelings, like two scattered, smiling snakes rampaging at a very down to earth Halloween party, which had classical music playing in the background and two controlling uncles laughing to the beat.

Suddenly, Mistress lunged forward and tried to punch Eternal in the face. Quickly, Eternal grabbed the solid sword and brought it down on Mistress's skull.

Mistress's thin fingers trembled and her smooth eyes wobbled. She looked unstable, her body raw like a wet, weary whip.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Mistress was dead.

Eternal went back inside and made himself a nice drink of water.

THE END 

XD

Beautiful. XD

That was... quite the fast ending. It looks like some kind of 'made in an hour' type fanfiction about Eternal. lol

@FeanoronForge @Drakilian @Sethaniel @Tanstaafl

Charlie Wilkins's Diary
    - a questionable romance

by Whitechapel Crew

Charlie Wilkins is a tall, weak and grateful Ravanos from London. His life is going nowhere until he meets Adam Roberts, a handsome, stunning man with a passion for trickery.

Charlie takes an instant disliking to Adam and the cruel and vile ways he learnt during his years in London.

However, when a Hunter tries to attack Charlie, Adam springs to the rescue. Charlie begins to notices that Adam is actually rather helpful at heart.

But, the pressures of Adam's job as a Lasombra leave him blind to Charlie's affections and Charlie takes up murder to try an distract himself.

Finally, when evil Ghoul, Fenris HunterDude, threatens to come between them, Adam has to act fast. But will they ever find the questionable love that they deserve?

Needs more magic butterflies!

"It's time for calmy humping!" whispered the goblin that lives on my penis.

I looked at the pineapple; it had cold vagina! and fluffy tits. I loved Jimmy Savile. I loved Rolf Harris. I did not want to take the pineapple from them. Jimmy Savile, especially, loved the testicles.

I examined the swanky wanker. I studied the hot dick, which slept like a gay hyena.

I remembered raping badly at the goblin's will and knew I would comply again.

The thunder made me tremble like colourful penis.

Boom!

The pineapple was destroyed.

The goblin that lives on my penis slept happily.

The snow reminded me of a Kitten that day - what a day for Armageddon.

I panicked, my fear reflected in the eyes of Santa Claus and A Pizza Guy.

But then we saw it - a hot BBQ. Santa Claus smiled. A sexual penis, a delicious toad and a sweet bullfrog - the BBQ seemed like the answer to our prayers.

A Pizza Guy looked at the vagina! and frowned badly. Santa Claus, humping bashfully, conveyed similar sentiments.

A sense of anticipation ran through my penis, skipping brutally.

Santa Claus admired the BBQ's lickable santa, breath held tight.

MMMMF...!

With help from a stripy banana, the BBQ saved the world.

James Peterson looked at the shiny cheese in his hands and felt lonely.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his Busy surroundings. He had always loved Smelly Millenium Fish & Chip Shop with its freezing, flaky Fries. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel lonely.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Olivia Zantherone. Olivia was a mean ogre with dirty legs and greasy vaginas.

James gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a cowardly, violent, coffee drinker with large legs and slimy vaginas. His friends saw him as a spicy, shaggy saint. Once, he had even rescued an easy kitten from a burning building.

But not even a cowardly person who had once rescued an easy kitten from a burning building, was prepared for what Olivia had in store today.

The sleet rained like rampaging koalas, making James fuzzy.

As James stepped outside and Olivia came closer, he could see the fried glint in her eye.

"Look James," growled Olivia, with a courageous glare that reminded James of mean dogs. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a penis. You owe me 718 dollars."

James looked back, even more fuzzy and still fingering the shiny cheese. "Olivia, yabba Dabba Doo," he replied.

They looked at each other with shocked feelings, like two curried, cool cows drinking at a very clumsy dinner party, which had rock music playing in the background and two wild uncles jogging to the beat.

Suddenly, Olivia lunged forward and tried to punch James in the face. Quickly, James grabbed the shiny cheese and brought it down on Olivia's skull.

Olivia's dirty legs trembled and her greasy vaginas wobbled. She looked afraid, her wallet raw like a blue, bulbous bacon.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Olivia Zantherone was dead.

James Peterson went back inside and made himself a nice cup of coffee.

THE END

The story of why Aman is better than Drak!

Aman looked at the sharp swords in his hands and felt sad.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his funny surroundings. He had always loved awesome CYS with its friendly, few forums. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sad.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Drakilian . Drakilian was a scheming evil with slimy face and fat legs.

Aman gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a charismatic, funny, Israeli Turkish Coffee drinker with pretty face and skinny legs. His friends saw him as an anxious, average angel. Once, he had even helped a skinny FeanorOnForge cross the road.

But not even a charismatic person who had once helped a skinny FeanorOnForge cross the road, was prepared for what Drakilian had in store today.

The rain hammered like fighting dogs, making Aman afraid.

As Aman stepped outside and Drakilian came closer, he could see the freshly-squeezed glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want death," Drakilian bellowed, in a malicious tone. He slammed his fist against Aman's chest, with the force of 7732 goldfish. "I frigging hate you, Aman ."

Aman looked back, even more afraid and still fingering the sharp swords. "Drakilian, I am better than you," he replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two crooked, curious cats thinking at a very sinister battle, which had heavy metal music playing in the background and two generous uncles rampaging to the beat.

Suddenly, Drakilian lunged forward and tried to punch Aman in the face. Quickly, Aman grabbed the sharp swords and brought it down on Drakilian's skull.

Drakilian's slimy face trembled and his fat legs wobbled. He looked scared, his body raw like a strong, sweet spears.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Drakilian was dead.

Aman went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Israeli Turkish Coffee.

THE END 

 Defa Gora was thinking about Ell B again. Ell
was an optimistic monster with spiky ankles
and curvy toes.
Defa walked over to the window and reflected
on his snooty surroundings. He had always
loved old-fashioned Dallas with its queasy,
quirky quarries. It was a place that encouraged
his tendency to feel barmy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or
rather someone. It was the an optimistic figure
of Ell B.
Defa gulped. He glanced at his own reflection.
He was a proud, helpful, wine drinker with
moist ankles and curvaceous toes. His friends
saw him as a lonely, long lover. Once, he had
even revived a dying, disabled person.
But not even a proud person who had once
revived a dying, disabled person, was prepared
for what Ell had in store today.
The moon shone like cooking monkeys, making
Defa confident. Defa grabbed a peculiar record
that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it
with his fingers.
As Defa stepped outside and Ell came closer, he
could see the black glint in her eye.
"I am here because I want Sex," Ell bellowed,
in a clever tone. She slammed her fist against
Defa's chest, with the force of 9278 dogs. "I
frigging love you, Defa Gora."
Defa looked back, even more confident and
still fingering the peculiar record. "Ell, I ate
your puppy," he replied.
They looked at each other with sparkly
feelings, like two grated, grotesque goldfish
singing at a very peculiar Valentine's meal,
which had flute music playing in the
background and two cowardly uncles dancing
to the beat.
Defa studied Ell's spiky ankles and curvy toes.
Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry,
but I can't give you Sex," he explained, in
pitying tones.
Ell looked relaxed, her body raw like a
helpless, hot hawk.
Defa could actually hear Ell's body shatter into
5468 pieces. Then the optimistic monster
hurried away into the distance.
Not even a glass of wine would calm Defa's
nerves tonight. 

Galactic Lazy Biting Baby Wars
    - a science fiction novel

by C.P.M

A long, long time ago in a lazy, lazy galaxy...

After leaving the gassy planet Earth, a group of Fart Bots fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a gross, space Shanshoo's Tower.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Lazy Snob, a dangerous Turtle capable of Laziness and even Murder.

Terrified, a snobby Fart Bot known as Shanshoo Ghabez flees the Empire, with her protector, Monkey-in-a-tuxedo With-a-gun.

They head for Shanshoo city on the planet Shansoo's World. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. With-a-gun uses his lazy Biting Baby to defend Shanshoo.

With-a-gun and Fart Bot Shanshoo decide it's time to leave Shansoo's World and steal a Flying Turtle 2000 to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of Turtles. With-a-gun is attacked and the Fart Bot is captured by the Turtles and taken back to Shanshoo city.

With-a-gun must fight to save Fart Bot Shanshoo but when he accidentally unearths a powerful Chooseyourstory.com, the entire future of the lazy, gassy galaxy is at stake.

I was so confused by that xD

It's very strange.