On May 13th, you have joined ChooseYourStory. In only two days' time, there is not much one can learn. However, you are setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary stress and trouble with the schedule you have made for yourself.
To save you from yourself, I hereby challenge you to a Short Story Duel.
My terms are simple: The winner gets, well, only bragging rights. Each person will submit a thousand-word short story about a zombie apocalypse. You get to decide which viewpoint the stories are written in (First; I, Second; You, Third; Them).
This duel may or may not be overseen by a person of great influence, but in the event that they decide to oversee the duel, I declare to them that any termination of accounts or changes of name are not on the terms, and shall not be carried out (now we just hope they listen!)
Zombie_Exclusion, do you agree to these terms and the duel?
As a member of the audience, this would be a lot more interesting if the stakes were higher. Put your accounts on the line! Fight to the death!
Hey now, I would feel bad if I ended up getting this guy banned too - you know how it went with Castor! The poor guy never came back...
If Zombie wants to add some extra terms to it, however, there is practically no chance I would not agree to them.
A challenge has been made. A serious affair indeed. It is traditional to allow the challenged to select the weapon, but since zombie stories has been established as the preferred weapon of @Zombie_Exclusion it shall be allowed. Either party may choose a second for consultation, but the story must be written solely by the duelists.
It is now Zombie-Exclusion's responsibility to accept the terms of this dual or face the social consequences.
In order to abide by the ancient rites of short story duels, however, and to ensure that no previously written short story is used, there will be two mystery elements that will be required. This mystery elements will be chosen randomly and given to you both as the duel begins. They must play important parts of your story.
The short stories must be anonymous. Do not post them here on this thread under your name. They will be judged by the members of this forum.
We now have someone to oversee the duel! Now we just wait to see if Zombie will agree - a brand new story every two months must be a busy schedule, after all
If anybody wants to be my second I will accept the first person who volunteers for the job, regardless of experience. In fact, having a spastic newbie seconding me would not be a bad thing.
What does this mean? I’ll volunteer for whatever you’re talking about just because I pride myself with the title of ‘spastastic semi-newb’, which is like the evolved form of a spastic newbie.
It means you and you alone are permitted to discuss the short story in progress with the duelist you are seconding. You may not write any of it, but you are permitted to discuss it. This means you may not vote, of course.
So I volunteered to be a brainstorm buddy?
I might second this zombie guy, because...well Fiscean is getting a bit too proud for his own good. Someone has got to teach him his place.
Oh yeah, guys - I actually have an ounce of experience writing stories, so unlike the poem fiasco, the entry(s) will actually end up worthwhile. If Zombie for some reason wants to switch up the genre of the short stories used in this duel, then that is his right as the challenged.
I'd hate to keep us all waiting, so let if Zombie doesn't respond by 23:59 EST on Thursday, May 16, the duel will be dropped with minimal stain to anyone's honor. Unless stated otherwise by an administrator or another person of great influence, the duel is not mandatory and there will be no repercussions for not formally accepting the duel.
If zombie doesn’t answer, or declines, may I be permitted to take his place? I feel like I’m already invested in this duel and I would hate to miss out on it just because of the incompetence of some noob.
In fact, that is also the proper role of a second. So yes, you may take his place.
So would that make Shouja my second, and Ficsean would have to find a new one?
So far so poor.
Booo, and he was online this morning as well. I feel like he is just going to ignore the duel altogether. Luckily, Austinc decided to stand in for Zombie in the inevitable case that he doesn't agree to the duel.
@Zombie_Exlusion Don't make someone else fight your battle, you bastard!
Looks to me like it's yet more proof that you're right. Not that you needed more, of course. It was pretty clear.
Either way, at least there's still a duel.
I mean, he can at the very least try to save face by claiming that his story per two months policy simply won't allow for this, but it hurts to be ignored. I am not even skilled - all he has to do is take a look at the poetry duel to see that I am not a tough opponent.
I even make a link to this page on his actual post, so he has not a single excuse. At least decline so we can move on!
However, you can accept, you know. Even if you lose, you will live up to everyone's nonexistent expectations.
If he ignores it then just ban him anyway ^-^
That wasn’t in the original terms.
Ok. Sound about right to me. Lol
Yeah, that sounds legit.
If someone could remind me to not do this, ('this' referencing the whole thread) that would be great.
wow you guys are boorish.
Are you going to accept the duel?
yeah why wouldnt i so i can prove u guys wrong. Hey it will be fun xd, like that was a shortsighted question.
Then respond to the first post saying “I accept the duel”
besides do u guys have nothing better to do then eradicate other people.
Yes, we just enjoy this way too much.
i accept the dual.
Wow! I think Ficsean already won! No need for there to be a contest, when Exclusion has spelling that’s this bad. I hope you realize “duel” is spelled with an “e”, right?
guessing u have nothing better to do then eradiccating people
Use this. Maybe it will help you to sound like less of a retard.
Hey, do you know how to tag? There’s someone that would help you, by the name of EndMaster. To tag, simply put the @ sign before a username like so: @(name). And if you tag him three times, then for sure he will help you.
you guys are ludicrous. Whats the ponit in trying if even if i win u moron would be here to start somthing. like wht stay around with nitwit. btw i could see if someone can help get get rid of this blanking site. adieu!
If you win, you get to call Fisc & friends bitch-ass losers if they try to start something. Hell you could do it anyway, but winning gives it better context. Certainly it's a worthwhile prize for only writing 1,000 words.
Sure thing, Cricket!
'you guys are ludicrous.' Self explanatory.
'Whats the ponit in trying if even if i win u moron would be here to start somthing.' There's no point in trying, even if I win, calls someone a moron, someone will start something.
'like wht stay around with nitwit.' I assume he means: 'why', instead of: 'wht', and is calling somebody a nitwit.
'btw i could see if someone can help get get rid of this blanking site. adieu!' Looks like an empty threat, censored swearing, and a farewell. Other than that it may as well be Latin.
Should be clear enough.
Wow, Tricky! You are actually really good at this! Like, you should be the official translator for illiterate newbies!
Thanks man! That's nice to hear. I'm not quite sure if you're being legitimate, but I wouldn't mind that. Despite being a newbie myself in all rights, of course.
No I am serious. You are really good at making illiteracy sound like literacy.
I do my best. And again, it's nice to hear that. Reiterating as much as I am, again, sure. Sounds like fun.
Edit: Even though I doubt it's going to happen officially. Unoficially is good enough for me.
Excellent. The weapon is zombie short story, and the length will be approximately 1,000 words.
The secret ingredient: an egg.
You must include an egg as an element in your story. Weaving it in skillfully will of course be noted by the judges.
Please anonymize your story and send it directly to me; I will post the two stories here without names, so people can judge the stories wholly on their merits. You have two days, starting now.
Is this how duels always work?
I thought it was just Rock Paper Scissors
Not *always* but certainly going back to the IF Duel conventions as laid out in 1566.
Ah, I see--you mean those dinky things called duels that one settles with RPS or toggle. No, these are grander affairs.
I got part of the story done , but does it need to be a story game??? or can it just be a story?
A thousand-word short story, which is to be DMed to Gower. This is not to be a storygame.
Also a zombie apocalypse and has to be centered around an egg. Right?
Not necessarily centered upon an egg; just that an egg must be skillfully worked into the plot in some fashion.
Oh ok. Interesting...
Since I received no stories at all, I guess everyone loses!
This is so sad.
Penalized Ficsean, banned Zombie. I nominate Ozoni as the new Challenger of Noobs, Ficsean is a disgrace.
Hey, hey, now. I have been done, I just didn't send it in.
The scent of prey...
Gower, my current draft is 52 words past 1000. Is it still submittable, or must I shave it down to exactly 1000?
I bet Zombie doesn’t even have 100 words yet (I’m not very faithful in their writing and literacy).
With good reason if we're being honest. Didn't they say they had half the story done? Smells like a bluff doesn't it.
Well, one would hope that he was able to churn out 500 words in four hours.
Nah, it's in the ballpark. I think 1052 is fine.
Had a spectacularly busy schedule over the last few days. I have, however, been finished since the night of Zombie accepting the duel, though I have not been able to send it over to Gower by the appointed time.
Let's all agree that I absolutely suck at duels, but my opponents suck more.
@Austinc, can you send the draft I sent you to this thread for judging regardless?
Well that was your big mistake right there, relying on Autistic to do anything correctly.
I don’t really see how this has anything to do with zombies, and I made my thoughts apparent to him, but here it is anyway.
“Hey, Franklin, are you going to help me with the truck or what?” A familiar voice interrupts my thoughts. With a sigh, I follow my friend into the garage, where I spend the next hour standing there looking pretty, occasionally handing him a tool. My lethargy far from unusual, my friend continues working his magic on the truck, humming some indistinguishable tune to himself in the process.
However, none of that was at my mind. No, my mind was on the note I received this morning in my locker. On top of the few personal belongings sat an index card, which certainly wasn’t there the day before. The card itself is mostly featureless, except for the message written on it. Only four words, but there was so much more to it. So much, in fact, that I didn’t know where to even start. Still, there is an important message to it, that is for sure. I just can’t stop thinking about the message.
‘THE CURE WILL HATCH.’
“Franklin, are you alright?” My friend asks, moving away from the truck for perhaps the first time this hour. Even with my laziness, he knows something is up. I can’t just tell him everything is fine - he’ll just get even more suspicious. Unwilling to try my luck at bluffing, I ask him about the cryptic message that has been gnawing at me all morning.
“Garrett, the last time you heard talk of a cure, did they mention anything… unusual?” I instantly regret asking as my friend’s face loses its cheery façade, revealing a downcast expression. Before civilization fell, he was a biologist, working with humanity’s finest to undo the mutation, to find a cure. Asking this question undoubtedly opened up many old wounds, but maybe he will know something that will help me.
“Franklin, you know I was on a research team,” he says, melancholy giving way to frustration. “Most of it involved decoding the DNA of healthy and infected individuals, but something particularly interesting came up on our last mission,” Garret instinctively reaches for his pocket, drawing his hand back upon realizing that he has been out of tobacco for weeks. “We had finally figured out that the cure cannot be found in the DNA of the infected nor the uninfected - they both always lacked a component the other had. The cure, it had to contain the components of both healthy and infected DNA, and nothing extra. A balancing act, if you will.” He finishes. Even if he had something to smoke, I doubt he would be able to describe the grotesque actions that occurred after that realization, actions so horrifying that the civilians themselves killed their only chance of a cure.
Garrett props himself on the hood of the truck, staring blankly at the wall. Only he knows what truly happened during his time in the research team, but it had to be no less than a nightmare for him to leave it behind. I feel afraid to speak any more on the subject, lest he snaps into a murderous rage. Luckily, he continues on his own free will.
“No,” he utters after a few moments of silence, “All of those… inhumane acts you heard about, the experimentation, the forced breeding, the slicing and murdering… our team did not do that. We did not work with humans. We were biologists, Frank. Fucking biologists.” He once again reaches for his pockets, slamming his fists down on the truck upon realizing once again that he has no tobacco. “You fucking bastard, why would you ask about the cure?!” he shouts at me. “Every damned fool here understands that, so why can’t you?!”
Well, shit. Unless I want him to cave my skull in with a wrench, I should probably tell him about the note. “The cure will hatch,” I tell him, reciting the message on the card, “Do those words ring a bell?” I immediately jump to the side, a 20 pound wrench slamming against the wall where my head has just been. That crazy bastard is going to kill me!
“Those were the last words of my team commander, he tells you, the veins of his arm still throbbing. “When the intruders breached our lab, the researchers either fled, fight, or surrendered. Only the former survived. The commander, that old ditz continued his research, rambling about an egg being the key to a cure. Even as our own men were being murdered the next room over, he continued his research, without missing a beat.” Garrett takes a deep breath, his hand resting on his empty pocket. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “Even when they broke into the lab he was in, he didn’t try to flee. No, he rolled the item he was working on into a can - an insulated canister, to be precise - and just stood there. He wasn’t locked in fear or anything, he was too stubborn to move, and too mellow to fight. He uttered those words to the intruders, and it wasn’t a second later that a bullet ended his life.”
“Dedicated to the bitter end,” I say, at a loss for any other words. The team commander, he was working on something, something that can roll - like an egg. It isn’t much to go on, but it is enough to warrant the risk. “You know, I received a note this morning. An index card. On it were those four words, ‘The cure will hatch,’ and nothing else. I do not know who sent it or if it even is more than a sick joke, but my gut instinct is telling me that we have something to do with the commander’s final experiment. Do you remember where the lab is?”
Garrett looks at me with an mixed expression, part annoyance and part grim amusement. Like my lethargy and my inability to keep my mouth shut, I am also known for my often ridiculous, borderline suicidal ideas. However, I wasn’t the only fool here. Grabbing the keys, he replies. “Only if I get to drive, Franklin. Quickly, now, we have an egg to find!”
We do not know how the note ever got where it was - or who sent it - but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, though, we have an egg to find.
I like the post apocalyptic mindset that’s followed here, though as Austinc said, there aren’t any telltale signs of it being a zombie apocalypse or just an outbreak of a virus, bacteria that caused a global epidemic. That however, is why I like it all the more. Zombie genre, usually has a TON of clichés that just makes it bland and boring, so kudos to you for trying something new and actually making it work and sound interesting. The story is interesting and it feels like a short prologue of a larger novel, so it can definitely be worked on further in the future if you want.
I would’ve voted for this, even if that zombie dude would’ve made a submission. They would’ve probably made the same old nonsense about a group of survivors shooting walking corpses in the head.
Cool and unique fiscean, I liked it. If only you would’ve submitted it on time you could’ve kept your honour!! But I think you should be given a second chance, because this entry was nice.
That's the main issue I found rereading it. I wanted to preserve realism while also maintaining a sense of mystery, but the unfortunate result is not a single word that says "Zombie".
This could work as a storygame, and I could see myself turning this into one once I finish my other storygame. The Scrivener has made some good progress