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Greetings minions, i am you're new Emperor. My real name is Brad. I am looking for these things called good games. So any recommendations to start me off would be nice. Now i will return to my bed, I expect COOKIES!!!!

... I hate that pokemon...

Anyways, heyooo! Welcome to CYS, dude! Although I won't submit to becoming a servant to a newbie, I'll happily give some recommendations. Anything by Endmaster, Briar_Rose and basically anything or anyone else in the "top rated" or "featured" sections. I'm not much of a story game reader soooooo...

But if you'd like to read past Forum Games, I have a few that might interest you.

You're Emperor will let you be free for the nice suggestions. I have read 3-4 EndMaster's games. I am currently reading Necromancer.

My pet would like an apology after you're insult though. I only let the rascal live because he looks cute.

Can't... resist...

*Your

*crys* (romantic music) I...just wanted.......to be a.....tyrant...mommy didn't *sniff* like English school.

Guards Send this man to the Cookie Clicker Torture Room. (I should stop overdoing brackets with dramatic music). MUHAHAHA

I will never serve you! 

I didn't want to do this but you gave me no option.

You shall SUFFER 2 YEARS of our Cookie Clicker Torture Device. (dramatic star wars music plays) MUAHAHAHAHA

I will never bow down to a monster with leaves for its appendages!

(communicates with fake emperor)  *crys* All I WANTED.....was to...be apce...pted.....

 

Guards KILL HIM

*draws magical sword in one hand and a gun in the other*

PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM AT THE HANDS OF THE REBELLION, YOU FOOL! I serve but ONE emperor, and that emperor is HARDLY EVER ONLINE!!!!

FOR ALEXP, THE TRUE KING OF CYSTIAAAAAAA!!!!

*leads a charge of Penguinite soldiers that weren't there a few seconds ago*

BAH My magic will kill you all

*Summons 1000 armored Cookie Monsters in front of him*

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

BAH!

Your paltry excuse for a school bake sale is NOTHING before the might of my giant gatling shotguns! MEN! GET IT!

*2 soldiers head off to get the turret*

It's heavy, it'll take a while, but in the meantime, we shall battle! Battle for all of Cystia! ALL of it! Even the My Stuff Search bar that doesn't even work, and the forums search bar that doesn't work either!

FOR SEARCH BARS!

*fires gun into the cookie horde as the soldiers charge into it with flaming spears*

BAH what a pitiful excuse for a battle. Say you're last words Penquin before i send you to the snow whence you came.

*Summons Gatling guns to 5 Cookie Monstars*

If only your pitiful excuse of a life learned magic

*goes to sleep whilst standing up*

Attack while their commander is distracted! He never told them to fire!

*runs out of bullets and throws axes instead*

This battle is going to get AXE-treme, I'm ready to kick some serious AXE now!

ZZzzzzzz

 

*General Choc cookie appears randomly in front of emperor*

Cookie monsters this small animal is using wit and axes against, do NOT GIVE IN. Also Why the Hell are you not idiots Firing those dam guns, FIRE THEM

*5 idiot cookie monsters start firing the Gatling guns*

*general Summons Katana's for the Cookie monsters without guns*

Your guns are nothing before the mighty manly scents of my soldiers, they use AXE body spray!

*throws axes into gatling guns*

You can't HANDLE these axe puns!

Zzzz (cough cough) Those axe puns WOKE ME.

How dare you wake your mighty Emperor.

*summons Katana Body Spray For the cookie monsters*

Fear me penguin or DIE. Puns are for the WEAK, Katana's are for COOL people.

*Summons 10 flying unicorns for an orgy whilst the battle is waging on*

Katanas are for people who know nothing of swords! They break like wooden sticks when stricken by axes because the steel was made poorly via folding the steel to get the impurities out and leaving a thin, relatively fragile twig of a weapon!

Now take this! *throws enormous axe into 30 cookie beings*

(500 Cookie Monsters die from the overwhelming knowledge)

BAH THEN FEAR THIS

*Summons Fire Maces to replaces the Katana's*

*returns to Orgy*

A proper axe is far better! While the Mace is indeed capable of blunt and bladed brutalization, the Axe can be used as a blunt weapon, and a stabbing weapon, AND a slashing weapon!

*Penguinites abandon spears and draw axes.*

I shall end this conflict. *summons an army of gatling laser wielding Jedi bears with swords for teeth and some former KGB agents who have taken to working at Disney Land but would honestly like to get out of retirement*

Stay away! Do you think I AXED for this?

*Gestures to a certain gatling bear, who pulls out a can of Old Spice*

Whatcha think now, b*tches?

Work for me The Emperor James OR DIE.

*Summons 100 Enhanced Cookie Monsters with Plasma katana's for teeth and axes for Claws*

If you dont join me these Cookie Monsters will KILL YOU MUHAHAHA

*goes to the unicorn orgy*

Never. *Calls in a squadron of para-raptors with enhanced armor and automatic laser turrets. Gatling bears deploy Old Spice canisters*

You are ALL fools! This was all a clever plan to lure you into a trap! I didn't even bring my Gatling shotgun, those two guys were setting up nukes beneath your armies!

*teleports away and pushes big red button*

*Teleports 50 Cookie monsters to Penguins location and follows them*

FOOL I wield Magic

So do I! Watch out for the invisible lava mines and self-animate axes of death!

Clever, but my armies aren't even there. And, neither am I. Holograms. But it's nice to see that you finally showed up in person, penguin. For now I can kill you myself.

 Edit quickly. If someone replies before you save, then your edits will be rejected.

You can't mess with this shit. I have hyper-regeneration and stuff!

We are with your snowy penquins now. Why did you have to make me telport to this place (Pukes)

Axes may be truly better. I didnt want to do this but i fear i have to.

*Summons Light Sabers and Obi Wan Kenobi*

Lava mines and axes WILL NOT KILL ME

I didn't think so, which is why I'm channeling the raw power of my king Alexp right now! RAAAAAAAAGH!

*perma-bans 1000 cookie monsters, 1000 lightsabers, and 1000 Obi Wan Kenobies*

*Enters Trance state.......Summons the DEATH LORD*

I may not have my army with me BUT I HAVE DEAMONS

*Summons 10,000 Demons*

*Summons 500 Minotaur's for James to distract him*

*summons 50 Unicorns for an Orgy*

Shame, to kill you. You had Potential.

You may be able to summon the Death Lord, but know that on our side is the DEATH GOD, ENDMASTER HIMSELF!

Your Death Lord is worthless against the destroyer of worlds! And besides, I stole one of Alvin's bookcases and learned myself some holy magic so I could deal with this kind of thing! Holy-water monsoon, GO!

LIAR Where is this WEAK Endmaster

BOW BEFORE ME

*Summons Semra and Eldolith*

Fight stupid Elves

*Summons 600 kobolds to dig underground*

*Summons Anti-Holy Water Body oder for ALL*

I have Nmelssx and FORD WITH ME MUHAHAHAHA

Did you seriously just make an eternal reference. How dare you. *Summons 10,000 orcs with flaming chainsaw launchers...and giant mole spikes to deal with the Kobolds.

DRELL FIGHT THIS PUNY ORC COMMANDER

*Summons 100 Giants wielding Massive Mace's*

Bah Puny Fox WILL DIE.

It's too bad that your silly Kobolds have dug their way right into my bottomless pit of eternal punji sticks!

And now that you've summoned the anti-holy-water for ALL, it means that the Cthulhu I summoned will no longer die in the rain!

BAH Cthulhu is an idiot

*Summons Zevlix and Thor*

Here take this idiot demon and a GOD Cthulu

 

*Summons 1,000,000 Drell TAKE THAT JAMES

You cannot simply sic two silly little mortal gods on a trans-dimensional universe god! It's a waste of time and money!

Besides, I'm about to bring out my greatest weapon! THE ULTIMATELY SUPERIOR SPORRRK-....

...

...

...

Nevermind. Never again...

SILLY MAN I AM TIME AND I CONTROL MONEY

*Summons a Duplicate of Cuthulu With Laser eye shooters*

Well I am space and I control booze!

*summons a duplicate of your duplicate of cthulhu with plasma beam fists*

*Opens small singularity to consume drell*

MY SUPER WEAPON IS READY AT LAST

Silly fox and puny Penguin, Say your last Puny words NOW

*Summons Satan himself and opens a gate to HELL witch Sucks everything in the battle in*

Bye Bye

*Teleport's to the Death Star witch shoots at the original cthulhu and the duplicate's duplicate*

I'm glad he didn't notice that I shot a mini-nuke into that grapefruit-sized hole in the top of the Death Star.

Oh, right, and HOLY MAGIC!

*begins killling all the Hell shit and works way to the gates so James and I can escape*

*Uses a powerful super laser To destroy the planet and use magic to make a new one when things calm down*

*Summons those Unicorns again for an orgy*

*Bursts out of hell holding Satan's severed head* 

Things will NEVER calm down until you abandon your throne, TYRANT! Alexp is the true and rightful king!

HERE HAVE A BIG LASER FROM SPACE SNOW ANIMAL

*blocks it with Satan's head, since only holy weapons harm him anyway*

YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT ME!!!!!! *slowly presses onward*

Mr Darth Vader I shall send you and all your men to kill this rascal

*Teleport's with the crew back to earth*

Penguin I believe we can settle the matter with an Official duel if you DARE or die

If i win, i kill you and become your dead body's emperor. If i lose you kill me.

 

Challenge me! I dare ye!

EYE OF THE TIGER BABY! *knocks Mad's rock aside and papercuts him to death*

Soooooo Did we agree to 3 wins or was it just 1...

You said an official duel. AN!

And thus the honor and dynasty of the great king Alexp prevails for yet another age.

"The Emperor died on this day against a tiny puny ant fighting for a fake emperor. Some say he is not dead but others say he is in the pits of Hell for betraying Satan and leaving him to die. Who knows?" - Morgan Freeman

A fake emperor?

You call this fake!?

http://chooseyourstory.com/Help/AboutUs.aspx

Follow the link and attain wisdom, boy!

BAH

By showing me this fake book of "wisdom" you have allowed me to enter your mind. When you die i WILL take over and reclaim MY THRONE

Oh and dont become a necromancer or anything i dont want to wait 1,000 years for you to die.

That book isn't my mind. It's a cleverly lain trap in the now dormant mind of Cysid the site robot. You will spend an eternity trapped in the robot running duel programs and generating RPS newspapers. MUAHAHAHAHA!

FOOL, When i see you in hell i will already be commanding the demons there. I shall make The Ultimate Cookie Clicker Torture Device. Ill be waiting for you there penguin i will deciiiiii.............

"Hell is ETERNAL" - Robot Morgan Freeman

Good luck conquering hell from the inside of a robot's subconscious.

Sweet mother of God, why did I not log in to see this when it happened!?!?

LOL.

Brad was much funnier when he first started. And a lot less serious...

I think I can see that. It's sad when a hilarious member becomes super cereal.

I say we should euthanize him. *Grabs baseball bat*

You guys do realize you all just revived a 5 month old thread? Complete with spider webs and towels?

That's unimportant. Now, we need to focus on putting Brad out of our his misery.

*Grabs weed killer* C'mon boys! We're goin' to the UK...

Now who's buying the plane ticket?

That method would require knowledge of Brad's address, which, if we had, could be better used by simply hiring an English lawncare specialist to take him out.

Um...........

@MadBrad200 Mind if we go to your house and kill you? We just need your address.

twelfth and a half street, apartment seventy bee, Manchester planet mercury.

Also, we promise to make your pain as deathless as possible.

Sure but I'm not helping yah!

towels?

I always carry a towel.

I was? heh, I probably toned down after getting almost everyone annoyed at me.

Yeah, seriously, you went from being happy grass to being a real dickweed.

Kidding, of course, but really, I don't remember that many people getting annoyed at you.

Ah, but the thread is still there that shows it. I cringe reading it. Granted, I was kind of a dick back then.

LOL >.<

Which threads? I want to reread them. 

I think it was deleted since we kept derailing it, Madbrad wanted Coins banned, the two got into a big argument and then I think either Aman or Endmaster railed on both of them and told them to shape up their shit or die.

Senpen, I understand that we are at odds right now. But, I believe a truce might be in order. After this wannabe usurper is dealt with, we can settle the differences between us mano a mano.

HOW DARE YOU.

*Summons 5000 Drell with axes to deal with James and his puny army*

*Opens a singularity to consume Drell. Summons more gatling bears*

That's the plan.

 FIRE THE GATLING SHOTGUNS AT THOSE DRELL!

*pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew!*

Greetings Emperor Brad, enjoy your stay.

...in Hell.

lol ouch

How I about I burn you, then I can add another empire to my Undead Empire.

*sighs* The good times.

*telepathically communicates*

Hey why don't you free me from this robot that the puny penguin trapped me in and we can talk.

*lets brad out of robot* Let's talk. The peguinite cut my dick off with a blowtorch and I want revenge. Let's agree to be circumstantial allies. We can defeat him.

No, no you can't.

*Shoves Brad back into Robot*

You have no Idea of the full extent of my true powers, and I have no intention of showing the world again.

*kicks the penguinite in the balls*

Hah, joke's on you! I always wear a sports cup on the battle-field, it keeps my balls from getting injured!

Hah, joke's on you! Cups are for drinking!

Encrypted Message. 

Oo didn't have time to look there.

Already made war with the penguin eh? I'd say this is off to a good start. 

I already won! Such is the glory of being a Penguinite.

Pfft. You sit around all day making puns and scratching yourself. I'm sure it's not super exciting. 

Well, how did you know about the scratching yourself part, you creepy otter?

I've been to his house. 

I wasn't making puns and scratching myself, I was making bacon and eggs and dragon-shouting! You have no proof of the scratching part!

You are a penguinite. It is your nature to search and scratch inside your own butthole to get those pesky fleas out.

I don't get fleas. They can't bite through my feathers and they starve to death on my skin. That's more than can be said for you, pestilence-ridden human!

He saw it with his very eyes. 

Did not. I make sure all my private doings are private. Hugs may have seen my holographic decoy scratching himself, but scratching myself is something the real me would never do.

But we got the dragon off the roof and had tea. Was it tea? I think so. 

You sound like ObeyMyRod.

I hated him.

I don't need to complete the rest of the equation.

LONG LIVE CYS; DOWN WITH THE EMPIRE.

Well, good luck with trying to establish an empire here. Anyway, welcome to CYS and I hope you enjoy your stay.

As I told another new member, here are some Members who have good stories.

I recommend reading from the Top-Rated stories(or any story with a high rating) and stories made by JJJ-TheBanisher, Madglee, Endmaster, BerkaZerka, Briar_Rose, Tsmpaul and plenty of others that you can find on your own.

It also would be good to visit the 'Romance/Love&Dating Section' even if you don't like that sort of thing. There are some amazing stories in that category.

I now suspect Fireplay of copying and pasting the same reply to every new member over and over again, reusing the one she made from the dark ages. 

He asked for recommendations and instead of rewriting the entire thing I just copy-pasted it from the other recent new member thread.

Also I'm still a guy, but it seems ignorance will reign here.

Thanks for the suggestions!

[email protected] there is my email brad so if you want to email me there that way i am no longer miss master mousepaw and we can  not talk about pokemon and cookie war

This was so random.

You are aware that you replied to an account that has been banned for several months, right?

I am.

Raking up the posts, are we? XD

How dare you! trying to steal MY precious shiny trophy!

Oh no, I have no intention of taking yours.

Oh, okay then. Post away!

I will never bow to a plant, call me a minion again and I will spray you with herbicide, the same rule applies if you troll or spam. Welcome to the site.

miss master mousepaw says that the true leader is the penguin

Hi. Welcome to CYS. Enjoy your stay. :)

Umm...Tev, you are aware that Brad has been here for almost six months, right?

It says 5 months.

I said "almost" six. It rounds down. You could've left a comment 47 hours ago, but it would still say 1 day ago.

You're right. Still, I was aware that he's been around a while. The thread popped up at the top so I thought I'd take this opportunity to welcome him.

Hmm...fair enough, I guess.

A little late for that don't you think?

Better late than never.