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Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

This is a motivation thread for my fantasy game, Arrowsmith, where you play as a mage who can enchant arrows. There will be 4 main paths; Rogue, Pawn, Hero, and Warrior. The game will start at age 8, when you are apprenticed to the 4th Arrowsmith, you will be the 5th. 

So you know the drill, annoy me if I'm dicking around on the forums instead of writing.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

So I can enchant arrows, but I don't use them?

Anyway, this sounds like a great and original idea, but make it long and interesting.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

No Villain path?

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

Oh, you mean like this Arrow Smith? #Plagiarizmz

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UFFa1HbFfA

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

No, you're thinking of *Aerosmith not Arrow Smith.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

Aero=Arrow in Latin. Duh.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

I... I... I give up on you. *Walks away*

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago
Actually it's 'Sagitta' that means Arrow in Latin.

Si Ergo Scientia Potestas Sum Deus, It's all good.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

That's Catholic Latin, not Latin Latin.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago
Latin is Latin wherever you go. Doesn't matter really, as long as you get the point across.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

I'm gonna be like TacocaT on Quiller's motivation threads...

Update? 

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

Sorry, I was busy with school and making up bullshit excuses, I'll work on it this weekend.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago
Lol, that sounds like something I'd do...

But that sounds good to me.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

After a lengthy spree of internet, I'm going to start writing now.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

It's been seven days. SEVEN MOTHERFUCKING DAYS, BETA! YOU GET YOUR ASS INTO THE EDITOR AND WORK ON THAT STORY, AND YOU DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED ONE OF THE MAIN PATHS!

I need to chill out on the caps lock.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

First page is done. Wooo!

 

Age 15

Your name is Jess, named after your grandfather.

You're not the biggest boy, in fact, you're quite small, the other kids are all a good few inches taller than you. You take after your mother, a soft woman with green eyes and blond hair. The only feature from your father is your curly brown mane, a contrast to your mother's lighter hair. You'd look quite ordinary if it wasn't for the large birthmark on the side of your face. You never had your father's muscle, but you could run fast, from the moment you could walk, you'd always try going faster.

Your habit of running only complimented a habit of stealing. Ever since you can remember, you've wanted to steal anything you could get your hands on. You usually didn't get caught, but there's a few times you did. After the first your father gave you a beating, all you stole was a small knife, you didn't think anyone would miss it. You had an entire collection of knives under your bed, lucky for you that he didn't find that. You hide everything you steal, most of it you never use, but there's always the chance you'll need it eventually.

Most recently, you stole a gold ring, you just wanted to give it to the merchant's daughter. She was so pretty, with long red hair and fair skin. You did not realize however, that the ring you stole was from her father. She told her father, who's wife was a friend of your mother, who told your father. Your father is a very large man, with a loud booming voice. He loved his wife, and he might have loved you, but he definitely didn't like you.

The next thing you knew, your mother had given you a loaf of bread, and your father had told you to get your ass to Cellia. You've only been there once, two years ago when your brother had gotten the plague, the only healers trained well enough to deal with it were in Cellia. It was a massive city, and you were there for one day and two nights before your brother passed away. It left your father with a hole in his heart. Your brother was the smart child, always absorbed in book. You two never got along, always fighting over the littlest things. 

The road to Cellia is empty. Most people in the villages are farming, the only person you meet is an old woman traveling back with her mule. At noon, you stop to eat lunch. Your mother was a very good baker, and the bread tastes like heaven. By night, you've arrived at the city, the walls towering over even the tallest trees. The guards at the gate barely acknowledge your presence.

The inside of the city is loud, even at night. Criminals run in allies, and young couples walk, keeping to the safer cobbled streets. Wealthy young men wander the streets aimlessly, the jingle of coins in their pocket makes your fingers twitch.

The recruiting building is a large building with a fancy interior. A single rat-faced worker sits at an oak desk. A small crossbow is on his desk, no doubt protection from the various undesirables that come in. He gives you a large fake smile as you push the large door open. 

"Hello sir, please state your buisness." His voice is unnaturally monotonic.

"Umm, I would like to sign on."

In a flash, he pulls out a contract. 

"You will get 7 gold a month, weapons will be provided, and you will serve a two year tour before your contract is up for renewal." The tone of his voice suggests that there is no negotiation to be had.

You pick up an ink pen and sign your soul away to the military.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

NO. YOU MUST FINISH THE FIRST PATH, THEN YOU MAY SPEAK.

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago
You're using commas wrong.

"You're not the biggest boy, in fact, you're quite small, the other kids are all a good few inches taller than you."

This is not a single sentence. It should read like this:

"You're not the biggest boy. In fact, you're quite small; the other kids are all a good few inches taller than you."

Punctuation is something you need to work on for sure (this is just one example).

Arrow Smith Motivation Thread

9 years ago

Screw it, I want to do a sci-fi epic.