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I should specify *constructive* criticism...

Hello, I am abiru. I am a newb to chooseyourstory, but by no means am I a newb to create-your-own adventures. I loved R.L. Stine with the rest of them, had a pretty good run on Quizilla with a fantasy series cyoa, and I have been seriously writing (as in for the purpose of publication not recreation) for 10 years now. I am a grammar-nazi's worse nightmare, but I encourage criticism of all sorts, even the grammar-kind.

The Third Wave is a sci-fi post-apocalyptic type story in which the main character is given multiple opportunities to survive and save humanity before the third wave of alien colonists known as the Grays arrives to annihilate it. You start out at 5 years old and mature through survival, skill-building, and relationship-building. I am tweaking with variables to develop a triad skill system comprised of Sanity, Spirit, and Stamina, enhanced by traits such as Courageous, Cowardly, and Cautious you develop through your actions and story progression.

In the first chapter, you have a choice of sex between male, female, and intersex, and a choice of sexuality between gay, lesbian, heterosexual-male, heterosexual-female, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual (depending on your gender you can be male and identify as lesbian). Your sex and sexuality will change how various characters react to you, and I am still working out kinks on how to incorporate romance-type interactions. You also have one life interest which helps decide the main plot line and open up personalized opportunities as you develop your interest through related traits.

I am struggling to piece together the first chapter, and the second chapter is just going to get more difficult as it starts branching out in four directions, and I can't even imagine what the third or fourth chapters will be like. I guess I have bigger Spirit than I do Stamina or Sanity... However, I hope to gain some valuable suggestions and welcomed relief. Without further ado, the Synopsis:

The Synopsis

The first councilman, Cornelius Tartus, unified humanity 126 years ago. Immigration laws were dropped, borders of every country and continent opened, and global trade skyrocketed due to little or no taxes other than the universal sales tax. The economy blossomed into a giant bubble of fresh wealth and new beginnings. Every child was taught at an early age three main languages--English, Spanish, and Mandarin Chinese--in order to further enhance diplomacy and trade. Higher education, healthcare, and retirement were free for all citizens.

However, the advancement of humanity jerked to a halt by the invasion and subsequent oppression by a superior alien race calling themselves the Grays. Humans have been judged unfit to rule over Earth by the Universal Legislation of Alien Species. Unless humanity proves itself to be intelligent enough to join the intergalactic community by the time the third wave of alien colonists arrive, every last human will be eradicated and replaced by the Gray colonists.

You are only 5 years old when you witness one of the Gray Messengers fall from the sky in a black pod dark as night. Human cyborgs who have already accepted the Logic Chip, Messengers know not fear, greed, or anger. Just purpose. You watch in horror and awe as your neighbors are enslaved by the Logic Chip that the aliens claim could be the salvation of the human race, if human consciousness is capable of accepting and processing it. You run and hide in your family's bunker, not knowing for how long or how safe you really are. With your life and the fate of humanity intertwined, you have to decide how you will lead your race to salvation or annihilation. Choose wisely.

[Some themes included are meant for a mature audience, such as Sexuality, Romance, Puberty, and Jokes That Can Be Perceived As Offensive--Proceed with humor and an open mind.]

I enjoy the synopsis. It is a different take on an old cliche though. Watch what happens in the case you would fall directly into it. I would hate to see a concept like this fall under stereotypes and cliches. So far, so good.

Thank you for your support. My main goal is to slice a fresh piece off a very classic and iconic pie, so to speak. My worst enemy is technology thus far, but I am learning and advancing every day and currently re-vamping and ending the first chapter...finally! I hope you continue to follow the progression of The Third Wave.

I certainly will! If you find you need help or just general feedback, you can always just PM me.

For starters, welcome to CYS since I don't recall greeting you at any other point. Next, I like your name and am curious about its origins. I don't have the capacity to give you a full run down of my opinion on your synopsis right this second, but I can certainly say that your variety of choices makes it sound interesting, that I enjoy post-apocalyptic worlds, and that I like Sci-Fi.

Thanks for your greetings! My user name is from a sci-fi series by Deborah Chester in which "abiru" is the name of the enslaved alien race the main character is born into. My real name "Kimani" is West-African meaning Sailor.
 

I love both names that you have. Very original, and one meaningful. Do you happen to like the Sci-fi series, perchance?

Alien Chronicles? Yes, I first read it when I was ten and I reread it to this day. I think I've read it a total of 6-7 times now. You can read further on Amazon

Sometimes it gets better if you re-read them.