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Q: What's the words every great dictator and warlord in history should have heard?

A: It's just a rock, guys. Chill.

Seven guys are taking a test to become spies. The test is to use a provided gun to kill the person in the next room, which is a different person for each guy. The first guy comes out of the room and says that he couldn't do it, because the person was his wife, the second says that he can't do it because it's his father, and this kind of thing goes on until the seventh guy. 

The seventh guy comes out, his clothes covered in blood and viscera, and says "The gun was loaded with blanks so I had to beat them to death with the chair."

Lmao

I can't tell you the answer. But maybe someone else can.

I got it, now I need to learn how to adequately express my enthusiasm. ^^

I don't get it Nick?

I think the joke is that the earth is a big rock that everyone fights over.

lol

I'm glad that gif made you laugh I suppose. ^^

By the way, not everyone who says "lol," "XD" or any of its similar forms is actually laughing.

k.

...can you lol passive-aggressively?

Yeah, I guess you could. Maybe you could insult someone and then slapping on a "lol" at the end.

That's not really passive aggressive if you've already directly insulted them. That's more like just laughing at your own joke at their expense. 

Passive aggressive internet behavior tends to use more sighs and eye rolls than "lols."

XD - Depiction of a laughing face.

lol - Laugh Out Loud.

So for all intents and purposes, it is someone saying they're actually laughing in some way. You statement, is just as useful as someone saying 'By the way, not everyone who speaks or communicates in any form is actually telling the truth.'

I'm still confused as to why he felt the need to point out something so obvious to me. :l Buuuut, oh well. 

Wheeze y?

Wheezey?

...

WEEZY

My life.

Wanna hear the most basic joke ever?

Sodium bicarbonate, calcium, and alkaline water walk into a bar...

...made of chalk.

A bar of chalk? I thought chalk came in sticks?

There's no reason why you can't make a bar out of chalk - it is a mineral. 

Also, chalk comes in blocks, sticks, powder, several-ton-piles, etc.

Very true.

>.>

That was un-smearable.

See, I can make bad jokes!

don't you mean...

...

pun-smearable

Or, perhaps even, Pun- bearable?

I'm Black so maybe I can get away with this.

Q.A Black man and a Mexican man are sitting in a car.. Who's driving?

A.The Cop

The black guy is still alive in this scenario?

Nah. This is just a joke. In real life he'd be dead 

A Roman walked into a bar, held up two fingers and said "Five beers please!"

Ha!

That's a good one.

I don't get it.

EDIT: Oh wait. I do now.

...Is it sad that I know more bar jokes then anything else?

The pope, a priest, and a holy man walk into a bar. The barman exclaims, "Is this some kind of joke?"

A priest, a lawyer, and a pedophile walk into a bar. And that's only the first guy.

Two men walk into a bar. You woulda thought the second one saw it coming.

A blind man walks into a bar,...and a chair...and a table. 

Two men walk into a bar. One thinks he's all smart, so he says, "I'll have some H2O". The second wants to sound smart, so he says "I'll have some H2O too." The second one dies. 

Oxygen is in a monogamous relationship with hydrogen, until one day, he starts an affair with a different hydrogen. Well, one day, the first hydrogen walks in on the oxygen cheating with the other hydrogen, and she grabs them both in a rage and yells "Water you doing?!" 

How many police officers does it take to fix a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room they're in for being black