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so im writing a sifi story about a girl that was created in a lab and is running away idk what happens next (but i wanna keep it PG no dirty stuff) id like a coauthor cause i have school and i cant always be writing

Okay I can tell two things about you. A( You are most likely an alt. B( Even if you're not an alt the first thing I recommend is improving your spelling in gammer. If you improve your spelling and grammar I will help you but first prove you can write without spelling and grammar issues. 

That is something i am definitely working on. i don't know what you mean by an alt (I'm a noob) maybe you could explain?

 

I can write using proper grammar and spelling. However, I didn't really pay attention to that in my previous writing as I have just started writing my story and it's really more of a draft. I don't know what an alt is, but I wouldn't make assumptions about me just yet ;)

 

I can help. Read your story and you need more grammar and details. Don't recommend doing a draft give it all you have from the start. I can add more details and fix your grammar. An alt is someone who trys to sneek back in after geting banned.

Oh, well I've never been to this sight before today, so I'm certainly not one. Also, i dont plan to get banned any time soon. Why whould you assume that?

 

There have been some alts lattly and most of them can't spell. So what do you say on the co-author thing. Also I don't think you are a alt anymore but if you are the mods will find you out.

I'll look into it and see. Have you published any storygames? That might give me a good idea of your writing style. I could use a proofreader and/or a co-writer, which one are you thinking of being? Also, lately is spelled with an E and only one T. Looks like misspellings aren't exclusive to alts

XD on the spelling you got me there. I have not published any storygames but I do have a idea on writing workshop if you want to read that I have a first page down on my new post in that thread. That could give you an idea on my writing I'm not the best writer but with what you got you can't be that picky. I can be both if you want I don't care.

Well, let me say first off, your idea is great and very well written. Also, thanks for taking my little joke lightly, it's good to have people like you on the internet. And you're right, i can't be picky. I'm a noob on this sight but i'm no noob to writing in general, and although that really has nothing to do with your post i just think it's something i should say. Thanks for being so helpful on this forum, i would love to work with you in any way, proofreading or co-writing.

Okay I think I could help you in anyway. If I can't I will try to do my best. I think you have a decent story so far. My weakness is spelling and grammar too but I have got much better and try to pass my knowledge to anyone who needs it. I can co-write and proofread if you want. Thanks btw.

Thanks for all your help. I think at this point either you're my co-writer or i won't use one after all. Do you have any feedback on my story now that I've written more and done some editing? I'd love some constructive critisism to help me write better.

May I give some feedback as well?

Of course! anyone can! 

*cracks knuckles* oooh it's been awhile since I gave feedback.

First off, I don't think an end game link on the first page is a good idea x'D it just means bad ratings; since some people will just jump in, click that, and give a one.

Also, this is just an outline of the story right? I do believe you've said that somewhere, but if that is not the case, the content on each page is really, really..er well, practically nonexistent.

Take the first page for example,"You stand in the middle the lab. You cannot escape from this place, no matter how hard you try. But you must."

That's all there is? You may want to read some of the high ranking storygames here. Generally, there's a bit more writing on the first page. Besides that, you need something to set up the story, and provide a lure of sorts to keep the reader interested. You do have the setting point; you're in the middle of a lab that you must escape. What you don't have is anything that keeps the reader captivated. Honestly, its a bland beginning. It's got a mistake in it that I just can't help but keep noticing for one (You stand in the middle *of* the lab), and there's a distinct lack of details and all the good stuff. Again, if this is just the plot outline, carry on and still remember what I've said. Otherwise, please add more than what you currently have.

This applies to the rest you've written.

Next is the whole escape. It was...a bit too easy wasn't it? Even on the first page, you stressed it was near impossible to escape this lab, but you were just able to run outside the door? They left the door both unlocked and unguarded for you to just run away?

The scientists or whomever runs the place must either be very sure they could get you back, or these are the world's most incompetent guards. X'D either way, I found this questionable. Unless the forest is still a part of the lag, and they wanted you to go there for an experiment of some sort?

Hmmm that's all I can see that I can really comment on. There's not much else to critique due to the lack of writing.

Ah, just to tack on to the above; is "go down the heavily wooded area" supposed to lead back to the original page?

I hope I helped ^-^

Well, that was a review! Thanks for the constructive criticism, I will DEFINITELY use your suggestions in my writing, which I need to do a lot more of! I think I’ve been a little lazy, and that needs to stop. If you or anyone else has further feedback to share as I continue editing, please let me know. With that feedback, my writing is going to change a lot! This is my first choose your own adventure story, so I don’t know what readers want. I’ll read other peoples writing and use that. I can’t write as much as I would like because of school, but I get out at an ok time so I can still write enough to (hopefully) please people.

 

I can provide more as you write, just ask ^-^

Thanks so much!

^^ good luck

I will co-write if you want.

Sorry if I'm taking too long to decide. Right now i just need to figure out if working with someone else is the best workstyle for me. 

Take your time. Some people benifit from a co-author and some don't it is fine.

 

I for one do not benefit from co-authors x'D

While it's fun to write short stories with a co-author, I cannot for the life of me write a long, in-depth one with another person.

My thoughts flow the way my thoughts flow, and someone else pushing ideas for too long at me makes it difficult for me to write. Mainly because, even if I don't realize it, the moment I have an idea I already know the beginning, middle and end, and having a co-author completely changes everything. And while sometimes it's been good (which is why I RP with a few friends to see where other ideas can lead me), generally I just can't do it.

Honestly, I can do it if it wasn't my story. Huh. Just realized that. I absolutely cannot do it if it was my story, but I can do it if it was someone else's idea.

Wonder what that says about me.

Maybe you need a grammar lesson as well...

That font is hard to read and makes me automatically not want to read it :(

On mobile it's extremely small and extremely much too fancy.

Anyways, if you need a proofreader I'm available; provided your story isn't in the same font as all that. I honestly can't read it ahhh x'D

Sorry, I'm working on a computer and didn't realize how comic sans might look on a mobile phone. i won't use that font anymore. I could use a proofreader, and will look into your offer.

 

Okay ^-^

Since you seem to know you're way around this place, maybe you could tell me what an alt is? 

 

An alternate account of an existing member. :)

Hoo boy.

Okay, I think a good recommendation would be for you to take a little time and read the top rated stories and some of the help articles on writing. This will give you an idea of what's possible and of the quality level readers are looking for. (Reading lots of normal books also might not be a bad idea.)

The Grammarly Handbook is also a very useful resource for anyone still getting the hang of the basics.

I would recommend browsing some of the old writing prompt threads in the Creative Corner and perhaps if anything there catches your imagination, write a regular short story or two with a focus on making it as functional and polished a story as possible?

I have the impression you may be getting ahead of yourself with creating a storygame at this point. They represent a lot of work, usually far more than expected even for more experienced writers, and going in without any idea of a plot is usually a recipe for never finishing the thing, or at best winding up with a mess sort of meandering all over the place that no one wants to read.

It's doubtful you'll be able to find a co-author at this point, either. Most people interested in writing are already working on their own projects, and from the glance I took at the story it looks like any volunteers will be doing most of the heavy lifting if the idea is to publish something that doesn't get unpublished a couple of days later. Maybe try again with that when you have an idea of what you want to write, and at least a couple thousand words down to show what you're capable of and give a sense of the style wanted and where it's all going?

But definitely do seek out proofreaders. Some attempt to proofread your own work is usually also expected, there are people like Seto that are usually happy to help, or you could post links or excerpts to the Writing Workshop if you have questions needing more general advice.

Wow, one grammatically incorrect post and rough draft and suddenly everyone thinks im unqualified. I can work fast and well, just give me a shot. I've edited my last pages to be higher quality and I'm figuring out my plot much faster than I'm writing pages. I do have some idea of where the plot will go, and as for the thousand words, I just started this like an hour ago, and a lot of that time has been used on this forum. I know that you qualified writers are all jumping in trying to teach me, and thanks for the advice. But maybe give me more of a chance to prove myself before telling me i 'won't get a co-writer' and "will end up unpublishing it in a few days"

@Mizal

He's a feisty one.

She you mean. And yes, I am :)

Mizal means most people who are new try to get a story and they do but it is so bad it gets unpublished. They may have had done good but that first bad storygame trashed there rep. Don't rush it. I think you have what it takes and will galdly help you. Don't let mizal get to you if you argue too much you could get banned it has happend before. Not to me but I have seen it.

This seems a little aggressive of a response to people trying to help you. We've seen plenty of newbies do the same things over and over again, believe me. All we have to go by is what you yourself posted and the existing pages of your story at the time you did that. That is the first impression you chose to make.

I still find it unlikely you'll find a serious co-author at this point, but asking for them prematurely before they're at the point of bringing anything to the table themselves is another common newbie thing, so whatever.

Best of luck with your story.

Yeah, i overreacted. I can admit that. Thanks for the suggestions, I won't forget them. I'm just a little too fiesty for my own good, i guess. I'll write a bit more, and while I'm writing I'll keep your advice and everyone elses in mind. Who knows, maybe i'll write a good story!

Come on Mizal give her some credit. At least she accepts the fact that she needs help with her story. There is nothing wrong with that. I will help the best I can. Btw Mizal can't stand noobs XD.

I have been rather busy lately but this is such an open-ended topic that it might turn out well. What genre do you plan on making this? 

probably scifi, based on the story premise.

Hm. Well I've never really been into sci-fi, so I don't think I'll be very much help. You really should hold off on starting a storygame so quickly and bounce around the site for a little while and check out a few storygames.

Mine is sci-f with some magic so I like sci-fi.

I'm planning to add a little fantasy touch too, so that's perfect! I love both genres and plan to write a fantasy after this story.

No dirty stuff? You can count me out. Nobody gives a shit about PG. Make it M for mature audience. Go develop your balls, and then maybe I will write a story-game with you. 

 I'm gonna keep my story PG because it creates a wider age range and i generally don't enjoy writing dirty things.

Maybe if this site was composed of kids, then sure, making it PG might be a viable option. However, I would say the high majority of people that frequent this site aren't particularly interested in reading PG writing. Look at the site's top stories for example. Eternal is pretty much rated R. As is pretty much all of EndMaster's stories, yet for some reason it's still the second best rated story on the site. 

I'm not saying that you should put mountains of sex and grotesque violence in it, but if it were more mature, then I think it would do better.

Needs some corpse fucking before I even give it the time of day tbh. This goes for all literature.

I completely agree with Mizal. 

There's a great site for CYOA's that are PG. it's called starcatcher.org you should check it out. They're in need of some content too so I think you'll do great there.

The owner of the site has a CYS username too. Forgot what it was but he's around the place here and there.

thanks for the site, i checked it out and it looks great. I'm willing to add things like blood and corpses, but not the other stuff i ya know what im sayin

 

That website seems somewhat interesting, but I like CYS better since you can add mature content to the books. For example, corpse fucking. Who doesn't love that? 

We try to be pretty open minded and progressive around here.

Yeah. Oh, I just wanted to tell you that I finally achieved all of the endings in all of your games since I'm your biggest fan-girl. (I like your games better than Steve's since they have adult humor.) Please release a game sometime soon since I'm dying here. ;w; 

You haven't even rated all of his games you disingenuous, fake, retarded groupie. 

I don't write comments that often. 

Hey, I'm not a disingenuous fake retarded groupie. ;w; I feel hurt inside Thara. x'D

My favorite game of his is Suzy's Strange Saga as that was the game which was hilarious and had a great storyline. 

Yes, you are indeed all of those things. But not saying all of his games are your favorite has exposed you as not being his biggest fangirl. He has many fangirls and seems to be very popular with women, which makes my job as secretary harder.                        

You also can't have a backstage pass either, so don't bother asking.

I'll bribe you Thara with my Pokémon cards. x'D 

 

 

Here, try this one:

https://infinite-story.com/story/info.php?id=1665

End, are there any rules on what is appropriate or not? Can I put extreme details in corpse fucking, or is that not permitted? I don't know, I just want to make sure that I don't violate the rules or anything. 

Here, try this article:

http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=4123

Extremely helpful. Thank you once again. 

Dini, you are literally a Girl Scout.

I'm just in it so I can write what I did in that shitty organization in my college applications. 

Seriously, I can always help.

I don't need no goddamn help. Go help yourself first.  

Whatever, *****.

** **** ********, *** ******** ********* ****, ****!

It's not her fault that you're dumb.

MinnieKing, doesn't it seem that MonkeyKing wants more points taken away from him considering his behavior? 

I'd rather stick by my statement that he's just stupid.

Kids these days. x'D 

You don't have the balls to actually say the word. You fucking asswipe, learn your place. You still have to make up those points for acting like a complete jackass y'know, so get to it. 

Instead of pissing off people, go do some good around here. 

You don't need to always be writing. You've got school? No problem, your story isn't going anywhere. You'll write when you get home. You can't ask for someone to proofread it once it's finished, but don't ask people to write it for you. If you can't write it yourself, don't. Nobody will miss it.
Anyway, welcome to the site and good luck with your story. People already gave you a lot of advice, just listen to it and you should be fine, hopefully. Have fun!

Good luck on your storygame. Hopefully it can become a worthy addition to the site. Anyway, welcome to CYS.

I can always help. Just saying.

A lot of fairly stupid things have been said in this thread, on a number of levels, but I just wanted to clarify that no, graphic gore or sex isn't considered a requirement for a good story, and in fact that's a pretty ridiculous idea and most of us were joking. That would in fact severely limit the kind of stories one could tell.

I'm glad we converted you to a Adult Themed Author

I just joined but I may be of some help. I do not know much about the system yet but it looks simple.

And now there's a cat.

Such a good thread.

Good luck

You should make this website for teens and adults.. 

Technically it's for all ages.

But then you couldn't participate. :(

Anyway, actual age is fairly meaningless, I've seen 19 year olds that act like they're 12 and vice versa. The really young and dumb ones are filtered out naturally since most of them can't meet the standards around here for writing and posting. A lot of schools apparently still find the site a useful resource for class projects and in theory that's fine, it's just that none of the teachers can ever be bothered to spend the thirty seconds required to figure out how Sneak Peek works.

The argument that every story should have a minimum required amount of edge and be stuffed full of rape and gore to be 'mature' enough is still a dumb one however.

I love your kind comment on the top Mizal, I'll choose to ignore that. x'D 

Yeah, but still. Sometimes younger children stumble upon this website, and then they publish their terrible story-games which have a lack of punctuation and there are many grammatical mistakes. We have to suffer, and so do those little children because if their story-game's will get taken down they might make a big fuss about it. 

I understand that you guys want to make it for all ages, but considered some of the content on here isn't appropriate, shouldn't this website just be from kids from grades 5 or 6 to adulthood? (It's just my opinion, so don't be offended by it, and End.. I'm not insulting your game as it is one of my favorite story-games on this site.) 

"Appropriate", when regards to ages, is fairly stupid. I know a 17-year-old who says "Jeepers" as a swear because she doesn't want to offend people, and I wouldn't even recommend Dungeon Stompage to her because it's too edgy. Then again, I've taught little adorable kids who said shit so dirty is made me recoil in horror, and I doubt they'd flinch at Insanebutvain's weird rapey shit. Whilst society seems to think age is an appropriate indicator of maturity, in most cases it isn't.

Plus, ever since the first porn site asked if you were over 18, I think people realized that didn't mean they couldn't enter.

I know some 45 something year old men who still act like children :3

Living in their mother's house, haven't got a job, going online and making such a fuss...yeah, I'd say age is not related to maturity.

Besides, ashen_snake was 13 when they wrote two of the stories that got featured on mystery (The Free Hand and The Devil's Fire) so someone's age isn't related to their writing skills either x'D