Ok, I'm sorry... But, what do you mean throw them out for adoption?
That is a very cold hearted way of putting it. I was adopted when I was very young and let me tell you that I was never 'thrown out' by my birth mother. It is a VERY difficult decision to make. I have many friends with out of wedlock children and they always spoke to me about my experience as an adopted child during their pregnancies. I feel it can be a very positive thing, but only if done the right way under the right circumstances.
Carrying a child inside you and giving birth, only to never be able to even hold them or see them, is an emotionally devastating occurrence no matter the circumstances of the pregnancy. And the friends I have who have had to consider that option all have told me how difficult it was to imagine having that happen. Do their children have EVERYTHING they could want? Maybe they do, maybe they don't. It is a purely situational thing.
I myself was the product of a very bad situation. I won't elaborate, but lets just say, although I am personally VERY thankful my birth mother did not choose abortion, I would not have held it against her if she had. She had to hide the entire pregnancy from her family by moving out of state to stay with her sister over the summer. She chose to do a private adoption through an attorney and so she personally screened through many couples looking to adopt. She chose my parents and they chose her. Other than being teased as a kid and a little bullying throughout high school(mostly my fault because I have never been and never will be ashamed of being adopted and I am open about it). Yes, I have had a lot to come to terms with over the years because of being adopted, but I am a stronger person for it. I have never met my birth mother and I don't know if I ever will, but I will ALWAYS be thankful she made that choice.
In the end, I realize I had three possible ways I could have grown up. I may have grown up with a teen mother who had no support from her family and certainly I would have had no father figure(under the circumstances I wouldn't have wanted him anyway). My life would be difficult, but doable. Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that.
I may have been aborted. Sure I wouldn't have been given the chance at the life that I was given. Do I believe I deserve a chance to live? Yes, I do. But, I also understand that there are some things that are just too emotionally devastating to work through. Even if it wasn't my fault a terrible thing happened to my birth mother, I would NEVER have wanted to be something in her life that caused her more emotional pain to the point where she would have resented me and hated herself for 9 months. I would not have held it against if she had decided that she could not handle an entire pregnancy and had chosen abortion.
I was adopted by a wonderful family. Are there extended family members that don't approve of me? Yes, we just don't bother with them. Does it hurt that sometimes I feel like I wasn't meant to be there? Yes, but I also realize that I am here for a reason.
That said, I can understand abortion to an extent. I don't think it should be used as a birth control. For one it has a lot of long term risks in doing so. I think it is something that a woman should take very seriously to truly consider. I have met women who have had abortions and did not regret them, but I have also met women who are completely broken hearted about having had one in the past. It isn't a decision that should be taken lightly. But, in the end it IS that particular woman's decision. Everyone is entitled to their rights and their opinions and should not have others' ideas forced down their throats. Abortion can be good or bad. It is something that may haunt a woman in the future or it may not. I believe a child is a child from the moment it is conceived, but also that it is a parent's job to make sure they do what is right for the child. If they believe abortion is the right thing for the child, then they should do so without the hounding of other people telling them they are wrong. Their choice is their choice, no one else's.
And we should all respect everyone's opinion. But, at the same time. Respect is earned. When you have an opinion, state it with care and good intentions. Hurtful phrases like 'Toss them out for adoption' is not only degrading and insulting, but it takes things from being a personal opinion to being an ignorant insult.