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Okay, I haven't made any formal announcement on this site (I've been on this place for a year), so here it is:

Hi.  I've been here for over a year.  I am typing this now because I was just wondering what would happen if I finally had a formal welcoming thread after all this time.  Other than that, this really has no purpose.  I would like to think that at least one member here would welcome me like a newb, but I highly doubt that.

How do you spell "PLLLRRRRBBBBB!!!" ?

(kidding  )

Welcome senior newb!

I'd given him a month, maybe two.

My bad, has he had been posting on the forums for that long? I guess I just didn't notice him untill recently.

HAHAHA! Swift's first greeting :D found it!

Ive also found Daed's, Aeon's, Winter's, Silver's and a couple more

You'll NEVER find mine!

Oh, and congrats, Swift. Here's a spork!

-Will create a spork destroying dragon one day-

That's the problem with dragons. They usually stay at one constant power while the more sporks you destroy, the more numerous and powerful the sporks become...

Make a dragon out of sporks.

ITS GENIOUS.

The sporks would become too powerful... You would also need a lot of glue...

I recently made a holding chamber that uses the power of the things inside it. It is the perfect counter to the spork menace. Now... how to mass-produce...

The only problem is that the sporks would be able to kill the chamber. What? You say the chamber wasn't alive to begin with? The sporks will still manage to kill it.

Seriously, these weapons are the only things Chuck Norris fears. He's spent millions getting spork insurance...

why in God's name are al of these posts site wide being necro'd?

Because history is vitally important shit.

^

Technically I never had a welcome thread. I just appeared from the campfire one day while they were talking about something.

Ooh! Excite us with your heroic tales of the old country! Tell us of the days of yore, spin us spectacular yarns of blood and revelry! Tell us of the pre-sporkian age!... Also, what were you talking about when you appeared out of the campfire? 

Heroic tales, Day's of yore, pre-sporkian age? I'm not that old you foolish youths!

 Beside's if your going to call it the "Sporkian-Age" then at least have the courtesy to wipe out the penguins and mustaches first.

Campfire? No idea, just what best came to mind. lol

Actually, the sporks were created when Chuck Norris got bored and wanted to make himself a weapon strong enough to be able to take him weilding it. Hence, the sporks. They almost have enough dakka, which is a feat in and of itself.

Meh, Chuck Norris was devoured by the Snarl so it doesn't matter anyway's. :)

Apparently you've got your facts wrong. The snarl was made when chuck norris was so bored he got constipated... and shit out a god-killing world-eating beast.

I've got plenty of facts. :)

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0273.html

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0274.html

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0275.html

Chuck Norris is nowhere to be seen so it is very likely he was devoured or killed by the Snarl. Beside's I doubt chuck norris would lower himself to such a level as to draw a crayon monster if he was as powerful as you say.

The food chain:

Chuck norris

Me

Chuck norris' lower body

His upper body

His individual body parts

Infinite

The snarl

God

The universe

You do realize that your list basically implies your just another body part of chunk norris and that he is both lesser and greater than himself at the same time right?

Oh, no no no, naruyashan, you have it all wrong.... The story begins this way....

Exactly 79,800,789,564,907,234.5 years ago, when the universe was just a fledgeling, there was the ultimate spork, and Chuck Norris.

The Spork and Chuck Norris were best friends, but they were also mortal enemies... Chuck Norris did not realize how powerful the spork was, and one day they fought. Chuck Norris LOST, but he was growing in power, and so the spork trapped Chuck Norris in the body of a 64 year old ginger and hurled him to the earth, so that he would forever remain at the same power level while the spork reached levels so astronomical that it split into thousands, each with power levels well over nine thousand. They rained down to earth, where only the greatest of warriors were able to pull them out of the earth. Chuck Norris fought well, but was ultimately defeated... In order to survive, Chuck Norris fell to the temptation of Evil Strawberry Pudding, and became a great force of evil for thousands of years, yet, under the protection of the sporks, Chuck Norris only managed to kill 3,000,000 people by unleashing the Black Plague, but the Sporks killed 8,000,000,000,000 rats, and 9,000,000,000,000,000 fleas, effectively wiping out the plague in most areas. And then I became guardian of the sporks in order to keep them from killing everything.

If you guys are going to derail my thread with useless shit, please do so in the lounge.  Thank you.