The Weekly Review - Edition 15
What’s New?
- In Newbie Central TLAW introduces himself to the site (New CYS account here Thread).
- In the Lounge site members are nominated for the best somethings for 2015 (2015 CYStian Awards Thingy… Thread).
- In the Parlor Room Steve24833 introduces his epic new story about an orc called Mazkil (New Game: Mazkil Thread).
- In the Writing Workshop Phantomwriter44 invites readers to try his new story (Phantom of the Opera Choose your own Adventure Thread).
- In the Reading Corner gangburrito shares the sentiment that the book The Broken Empire is apparently rather good (The Broken Empire Thread).
Featured Interview - Introducing Chase223
It has been brought to my attention that in my interview with Steve24833 last week and my interview with Chase223 this week I might have insinuated that Chase had kidnapped Steve and is holding him in an unknown dungeon location. I have been shown the error of my ways and apologize profusely for pursuing this line of questioning. None of these claims of kidnapping should be taken as true. I also want to point out if I should suddenly leave this site and no longer be present on this site please tell the FBI “Alaska Silver Mines”, nothing else just “Alaska Silver Mines”. They will understand.
Q: What inspired you to write Achilles and it's sequel Achilles II?
A: I've always loved Sci-Fi, and I wrote a short story where Humans fought the original versions of the Remnants and Thar'Garavan for resources only to have to team up to fight the Probiscans. This concept evolved and I wanted to do something with it, and I was introduced to this. The idea for a sequel was not mine. Steve popped in a cliffhanger about this alien/ group called the End, and I kind of had to write a sequel then, though I changed the name from The End, which sucked, to the Chykri.
Q: Why do you write CYOA?
A: I write Storygames because I love writing, and I find that storygames are an impressive way to express this that's enjoyable for both the writer and reader.
Q: How did you find this site?
A: Steve told me about it and recommended it as he had been a long-time fan, so I signed up.
Q: Your co-author Steve claims you are holding him prisoner in an unidentified basement location. Any particular reasons for this?
A: I thought we agreed the kidnapping was a no-go zone and would not be mentioned. You said you wouldn't mention it, Will! Well, I have no idea what you're talking about, and unless you have evidence your claim is false and slanderous. If there were reasons, hypothetically, they would be because I need a co-auther/work slave/sex slave.
Q: Is there any information you could share with us to help the ongoing search for Steve?
A: I used to be friends with Steve, but he all of a sudden disappeared. I have no idea where he went. I wish I could offer more to help, I really do. P.S. Silverfish 3921.
Q: If Steve fails to deliver quality material on time do you have plans to kidnap any more authors?
A: Well you know, it's really hard to kidnap people. Duck Tape, Chloroform and leather bondage gear are all actually really expensive, and most kidnap victims, i.e. prostitutes and children, don't understand the importance of subtlety, characterization and... I mean, I don't understand the question. Kidnapping, you say? I'm not familiar with the field.
Q: Would you recommend the Kidnapper / Hostage partnership to other potential authors?
A: I'd imagine, hypothetically of course and in no way that could be as evidence to the Police, it doesn't usually work. People tend to cry, or whine, or beg for mercy rather than use scripting to write an excellent storygame.
Q: What are your favorite things about this site?
A: I love when you find an unexpected, really good storygame and you get insanely involved. This site is covered with gems such as Homo Perfectus, Dead Man Walking and Dungeon Stompage. I love them all.
Q: What are your least favorite things about this site?
A: I hate many, many of the new authors. Especially Steve. But on the most part, when someone just puts out garbage games, and then acts awfully about it. I know everyone has to start somewhere, but when they put out unfinished work claiming it's the first "chapter" of an epic saga that's definitely going to be written and than they act immune to any criticism of any kind and just consistently make terrible stuff while ignoring criticism.
Q: Any final words or thoughts you could share with us?
A: I'd just like to say I hope we find Steve, we just need to trust in the Police and Detective Agency to find him, we don't need aggressive attacks and accusations on family and friends of Steve, and if you're out there, stay strong, Steve. And maybe you, Will, should end your slanderous statements about the guilt or innocence of any certain individuals in question. No other comments.
Thank you Chase for a great interview and apologies again for my insensitive questioning… er can I go now?
Featured Review –Achilles by Chase223 and Steve24833
I am pretty sure I have reviewed this before but I think the quality of this series cannot be overstated. It is difficult to write one really good story game, let alone a series and so far SindriV is the only author to have managed it with the Homo Perfectus series. The Achilles series is an example of what time, thorough work and good writing practices can achieve and hopefully 2016 will give us many more great stories like this one.
Jokes
Writing as I am with a serious hangover I’m not certain I can be as erudite as I usually am so I’m going to fall back on the safe pastime of copying and pasting jokes and will try to do something more original when my head doesn’t feel like a drummer’s convention. So, going with a law and order theme here are America’s dumbest criminals and 911 calls:
Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.
Quiz of the Week
If you ever find yourself asking the question “Am I drunk” the answer is probably yes. With this in mind I have a quiz to help both of us determine whether or not one of us might be currently drunk:
1: How often do you drink?
A) Only on days ending with a Y
B) Only at Birthdays, Funerals and other celebrations
C) I drink water every day. What did you mean?
2: When you are driving home after a night out you stop sometimes…
A) If you see road kill that looks edible
B) When you can’t see the road from the trees anymore and realize you’ve driven into a forest
C) To enjoy the miracle that is life
3: Have you ever done any of the following while drunk?
A) Skinny Dipping
B) Cow Tipping (more fun than you’d think)
C) Singing
4: While drinking have any of the following happened to you:
A) Accidentally made a child
B) Accidentally met your future marriage partner
C) Accidentally gone to bed after your assigned bed time
5: What is the strangest place you’ve ever woken up after a night out:
A) France
B) In a bra (for boys) or in a garden (for girls)
C) On the wrong side of the bed
If you answered mostly A's... well someone knows how to have fun or is possibly in need of some group therapy. For you this isn’t a quiz, this is a checklist of what you expect from a night out!
If you answered mostly B's... you party good! Though you might occasionally wake up with your arm in a lake or in a stranger’s house your arrest record isn’t yet strong enough to stop these occasions from repeating themselves.
If you answered mostly C's... I suspect this is the wrong quiz for you. Please don’t judge me too harshly for making this but as walking is a little challenging currently I need some way to spend my morning. If only my fridge of water bottles wasn’t in the other room…
I should point out I’m joking of course when I claim to be hung over. It’s flu…
Random Section – The Etymologican
I am reading The Etymologicon at the moment, 250 pages of jokes about what words mean by master of terminology Mark Forsyth. He has a great sense of humor and I’d recommend his blog The Inky Fool to anyone who wants to learn new words and jokes simultaneously. To give you an idea of his style I’ll share the introduction of his book and maybe you too will like it...
“Occasionally people make the mistake of asking me where a word comes from. They never make this mistake twice. I am naturally a stern and silent fellow; even forbidding. But there’s something about etymology and where words come from that overcomes my inbuilt taciturnity. A chap once asked me where the word “biscuit” came from. He was eating one at the time and had been struck by curiosity.
I explained to him that a biscuit is cooked twice or in French bi-cuit and he thanked me for that. So I added that the bi in biscuit is the same bi that you get in bicycle and bisexual to which he nodded. And then, just because it occurred to me, I told him that the word bisexual wasn’t invented until the 1890’s and it was coined by a psychiatrist called Richard von Krafft-Ebing and did he know that Ebing also invented the word masochism?
He told me firmly that he didn’t.
Did he know about Mr Masoch, after whom masochism was named? He was a novelist and…
The fellow told me he didn’t know about Mr Masoch, that he didn’t want to know about Mr Masoch and that his one ambition in life was to eat his biscuit in peace.
But it was too late. The metaphorical floodgates had opened and the horse had bolted. You see there are a lot of other words named after novelists like Kafkaesque and Retifism…
It was at this point that he made a dash for the door but I was too quick for him. My blood was up and there was always something more to say. There always is you know. There’s always an extra connection, another link that joins two words that most of mankind quite blithely believe to be separate which is why that fellow didn’t escape until a couple of hours later when he managed to climb out of the window while I was drawing a diagram to explain what the name Philip has to do with a hippopotamus.
It was after an incident such as this that my friends and family decided something must be done. They gathered for a confabulation and having established that secure psychiatric care was beyond their means they turned in despair to the publishing industry, which has a long history of picking up where social work leaves on…
So a book it was which set me thinking..."
It’s a good book and if you see it I’d recommend buying it.
A Big Thank You to Chase223 for his Interview this week.
Thanks for reading this Review and have a great week :D
