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There's a thread on Figment, another writing site, where users post their favorite lines from their own stories. Someone posted this:

"Princess Moonacre Von Tastey ran her hand down the length of the pale white horses mane, watching it glisten in the sparkled, magic moonlight. Jasper Blackfox, the castle stable boy, watched her enigmatically, frozen by her luscious lace enthroned bosoms, heaving up and down - up and down."

Apparently, I couldn't resist, and I replied with this:

"Is that supposed to be satire? If not, you might want to tone down the descriptions. As Stephen King says, adverbs are the devil. Gratuitous descriptions are just as bad."

Obviously, that makes me a jerk, and the user just commented with a vague threat towards my published works on Amazon. Anyway, AYT, you know how it is over there. I brought it on myself. I should know better than to reply to anything on that site by now.

Bump - I'm interested in opinions about the scintillating writing I've copied and pasted above.

Is bumping allowed here? I searched for anything against it, but I didn't see anything?

You really don't need to bump after three hours.

Noted.

I'm new to the site and unfamiliar with thread turnaround times.

As a general rule, don't bump until the last post's "x time ago" numbers are no longer bold on the list of threads.

You and AYT (And anyone else) need to stop being shrinking violets over at that figment place. Instead of worrying about what they’re going to say to you, you should be making THEM worry about what you’ll say to them.

It’s the only way they’re going to realize they shouldn’t fuck with you.

I wish I could agree. However, when their threats can harm my professional life in the form of malicious reviews that hurt my rate average, I'm going to shrink. I think I will leave the site permanently and participate here instead. I much prefer the demographic here. I just need to do it slowly to avoid anything.

My name has been mentioned! RAAAAAAA--

Oh. Well, good advice, but I can't do anything anymore.
 

sounds like someone couldn't take criticism

stab em in the eyes

Right? The person said "bosoms!" How else does one react?

By stabbin em in the eye

no other way m9

What the hell's wrong with adverbs!? They were invented for a reason! And that reason is to describe shit more easily!

Regardless, gratuitous description also has its place. Given that it's just a fancy paragraph for "he was staring at her pet a horse and breath with tits and trying not to get caught doing it", it's certainly not important enough to warrant that many adjectives unless there was something particularly unique about them... Other than the fact that they're wrapped in fancy shit. She's a princess with a Mary Sue's first name and a last name straight out of Leisure Suit Larry, we can put that one together on our own.

As it is, this line has no place in any serious stories on this side of 50 shades and the rest of the overgraphic BS tomes. Like G-string the Barbarian.

Sounds like a satirical 50Shades: Medieval Edition.