I "practice" Historical European Martial Arts, and throw axes at a target in our yard from time to time. Those are my sports, I consider most of the other ones to be sucky.
Volleyball as we know it is for camp homosexuals, women in bikinis, animu girls with martial arts skills and a physics engine for their disproportionate bewbations, and boring regular people. Herbert Hoover took it upon himself to change this image, so that all the manly men of the world could partake in this otherwise dainty game without feeling un-challenged. Enter Hooverball, the game wherein the goddamn President selects his most barrel-chested, unshaven friends to shove each other around and whack a 5-pound exercise ball over the net at each other. Our football may be rugby for pussies, our baseball might be cricket for plebs, but goddammit, at least our Hooverball was volleyball for badasses. Sadly, this was never implemented as an Olympic sport.
Handgun and rifle shooting are/were Olympic sports. Future General George S. Patton competed in these, as well as boxing and/or wrestling, and fencing, before joining the military and taking on Pancho Villa.
Kung fu, IIRC, was an event in one of the Olympics. I vaguely remember reading about it on Wikipedia, and the contests were never described, so I'm not sure if it was a contact sport, a la the other Olympic martial arts, or if they were demonstrations/interpretations of the movesets like the kiddie competitions we have at home, but I do know Jet Li was discovered competing internationally in Kung Fu, though I don't think it was Olympian.
Sex, as far as I know, is not an Olympic sport, unfortunately, but Jackie Chan participated in both Kung Fu competitions and glorious fucking. He was discovered in a porno. There is nothing Jackie Chan cannot do.
Other things that were also Olympic Sports:
Baseball: Later removed for allegedly being "Too American". That's probably just tabloid drama, though, since they still have Olympic Basketball.
Tug of War: This was in 1908, when men with mustaches and stripey wool swimsuits needed to prove they were strong enough to pull ropes apart.
Solo Synchronized Swimming: For when the rest of your team are just swimming like a bunch of cucks.
Trampoline Jumping: More to it than that, but it's funny to say without context.
Club-Swinging: You swing clubs around. If it looks cool, you get more points. That's it. Gods I miss the Olympics of the early 1900s...
Other Sports that are Sentinel-Approved:
Shin-Kicking: If you break the other guy's leg, you win. That's a thing people do.
Jousting: Yes. Somebody please Olympic this!
Axe-Throwing: They already do this at the Lumberjack Games miles north of where I live, and I don't doubt they do it in other places.
Caber-Tossing: How bored are you? Bored enough to throw fucking trees up in the air just to see how far you can flip 'em?... That's... Actually really genius.
Rock-Lifting: More just for the backstory than anything else. Way back in the days of Scotland being a less-clothed version of Vikingia, each "Clan" had their own pile of giant fucking rocks. They were huge fucking rocks, each a significant fraction of the size of the human body, and in a designated area of Scottish plains, they were all stacked on top of each other in towers 4-5 feet tall, and are considered minor monuments to this day. It was a coming-of-age thing, and you were finally considered a man (Or a very badass woman) the day you were able to lift the biggest (Or all) of your Clan's fucking rocks. That fucking rocks.
Swedish Arm Wrestling: The ultimate game of Chicken. It takes complete awareness of your opponent to be able to defeat them. You have to keep your opponent from pushing your hand down, but you also have to be ready for them to let go and make you punch yourself in the face. It's a very delicate balance of force that has to be maintained. Swedish Arm Wrestling is a very serious art form and is not a made-up practical joke in any sense of those words.
The Knife Game: I just want to see what the "athletes" would look like.
Gladiatorial Combat: A lot of what the Roman Gladiators did was fake anyway. I'd like to see some of the more interesting Gladiator classes go to battle, even if it's all fat guys and LARP weapons.
