I just experienced the most funniest thing in my life. I was in the middle of taking a math midterm when another student a few desks away from me let out the biggest fart I have ever heard in my life. For a second I thought it was fake (it was so loud, you'd think his arse would explode), but then I realized it was very, very genuine when the smell hit me. I believe the only reason at found it as funny as it was is because of the seriousness of the situation, but I was practically crying. My stomach was hurting immensely as well, but I kind of regret everything now, since we had to restart the test.
Does anyone else have a story they would like to share on this subject?
my mom let out a grandma fart and I was like
"Tristan you got kids?" and he was like "no, why you ask?" and I said " 'cause mom sounds like a grandma. who has kids!?"
my mom died after that comment.
Quite possibly the worst post I have seen on this site. You couldn't even keep it on the topic of schools.
However, he did keep it on the topic of farts.
Sadly, my life is not interesting. :( Though somebody did highlight in the test booklet on a state assessment when he wasn't supposed to.
it's o.k. we love you anyway
you're welcome, 'cause I don't
*pat* Chocolate? ^_^
*starts to cry* yes please. . .
Ooh. How about... I never studied for them?
what happened to the chocolate? DX
Fart jokes, you say?
True story: my friend at school got detention for farting.
It was at end of year exams. He went to the toilet in the middle of the test, and then he came back into the classroom and did this massive earth-shaking fart which sent the entire class into hysterics. The teacher was furious and thought he did it on purpose, and gave him detention.
The reason for detention on his detention slip was, and I quote: "For creating a disturbance in class".
The best part was that he was actually the smartest guy in the whole year, and he had never had a detention in his life. Always had full marks on every test. I'm pretty sure he still aced that exam, he just got his farting detention before it ended.
that is the best story that I have ever heard!! XD
A girl aced her Japanese test, and since she had so much time left, she decided to help her friend right next to her by filling out her exam too. The teacher noticed because of the gigantic names written on top of the tests, and they both got their exams nullified.
Another time, same girl answered her phone in the middle of an exam on the same subject, just to answer some questions a guy had on his own test. The teacher was tired of her shit and just let it go.
I farted four times during a really big test, and all of them sounded like rocket launches, very explosive and drawn out, and I felt like I needed a gas mask. My classmates felt that they needed to roll around giggling like four year olds. Most embarassing moment of my life, and it happened just about a month ago. People are still douchebags sometimes and remind me.
Back in middle school, I was heading to my classroom to take the huge midterm math test that counts for 50% of our grade, and some eighth grader tried to trip me on the stairs, but he failed to and I stepped on his foot on accident. He lost his balance, and grabbed the railing. He did a spin down the stairs, and then fell on his face at the bottom. I laughed my ass off, but apparently the principal was so fucking stupid that I got suspended for bullying people and causing them physical harm.
And I missed the test.
That's how I failed math that year.
One kid got so frustrated that he stormed out of the room the test was being held in, only to walk back in five minutes later. I found it kind of funny due to how much gall the guy had.
I attended (and ended up dropping out of for good right before finals) the 3rd ranked school in the state. As you'd expect, 90% of the kids there are Asian, and super nerdy; the sort that would freak if they lost an eraser. Anyway, during one of the tests the prodigy of the grade started crying, presumably because the test was too difficult, and had to be escorted out of the hall by a supervisor halfway through. Everyone started freaking the fuck out to my left and right, and I had to try very hard not to burst out laughing at all the horrified expressions around me.
I love this forum post!!
I was taking a fire rescue test to become certified in hazmat operations. My entire class and I were in a computer lab to take a 2 hour test. In our class there is a kid that always falls asleep during tests. I look over and the kid is asleep like always. Weve all basiclly given up on keeping him awake because he doesn't really care about learning this stuff anyway. About halfway through the test I was looking around the room and at that moment the kid let out the loudest fart i'v ever heard. He must have scared himself or something because he jumped and was looking around the room so confused and embaresed. Our entire class couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the test.
One day I had a test, and the teacher farted, and then this kid bent over to pick up his pencil, and everyone was scared because they thought they heard a gunshot and there was a school shooting, but actually it was a deafeningly loud flatulence emitted from the kid who picked up his pencil, with such tremendous force and pressure that his pants had ripped open and were smoking. And everyone was laughing, but the kid was pissed.
He got up on his chair and screamed something like, "OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY DO YOU!?"
He grabbed one of the girls, and there were many gasps, "I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU ASSHOLES FUNNY!"
He shoved the girl out of the way, and took a massive shit on her desk. The class laughed, and even applauded. For the first 2 minutes, at least, but the kid would not stop shitting. Eventually it overloaded the desk and started to drop onto the floor. At 5 minutes, the giggles gave way to horrified screams. Worms and blood started to appear within the shit, and the oils of his eyes were diluting with lymph and starting to drip down his face.
10 minutes, and he was shitting this constant stream of worms like a faucet, they were pooling out underneath him and writhing over each other, burrowing into whatever they could find. The floor was too hard for them, but they found the girl's shoes. You could hear them chewing on everything they could find. They made little clicking noises wherever they bit on something, it was like dumping one bag of marbles into another... But then they found the girl's flesh underneath her shoes and socks, and boy howdy...
The worm hoard sort of swarmed her and started burrowing into whatever bits and bobs they could find. As they chewed, it sounded like those aforementioned marbles were being poured into a bowl of semi-hard jello. A thousand little splats in an orgy of blood and gluttony.
"CAERBOG PROVIDES!" Screamed the fart kid, "CAERBOG EXTRICATES!"
He just kept shitting worms and screaming about our glorious holy lord and savior Caerbog. Just sitting there. The worms turned to eyeballs all melted and grafted together, and the molten skin of his rectum slowly started dribbling down between his legs, but he just kept going. His real eyes were totally gone by this point, and actually his bare testicles were dangling out of one eyehole by their epidydimus, but what was even funnier was that a little horse fetus (Couldn't be more than two months) was desperately trying to escape from his head, but he was too big to fit through the eyeholes, so he just kept squealing and stamping impotently at the walls of his flesh prison.
Eventually, the eyes and the worms and the shit were creating this massive pool of shit that was ankle-deep over the floor of the room, and the girl being eaten by the worms was now a skeleton full of boreholes and tiny bitemarks. The class started really laughing their asses off as her jaw fell off, and one kid even fell out of his chair laughing and was devoured by worms, eyes-first.
The kid just kept on shitting. His legs had been worn down by worms into just nubs of flesh, so no one was surpised when the entire lower part of his torso burst open and started spraying eyeballs and bloody shit everywhere.
"CAERBOG PROVIDES! CAERBOG EXTRICATES! CAERBOG EXTRICAAAATES!" he screamed. More kids laughed themselves into the waist-deep pile of worms.
The teacher just stood on his desk with a look of utter disappointment on his face.
"Caerbog does not exist, you zealous religious faggot." Said the teacher, driving a knife into his belly as the holy purgative fires of Caerbog began biting into the flesh of his taint.
Long story short, the kid got a detention, and our sides fucking exploded that day. Even the fucked up skeleton whose desk he shat on was laughing. You can still hear her laughing if you put your ear to her grave. It's just underneath the floorboards of the basketball court.
It was so hilarious though. You had to be there for the full effect. He was just squatting over her desk with the same strained look on his face the whole time. I mean, while he could still squat and move his face, I guess.
Wow, I wish we had this kind of entertainment at my school! Sounds so funny!
Oh, yeah, that's just what happens on Caerbogsmas. You should see the shit our mighty sage and guardian Uelikowla pulls in Study Hall. Or when somebody invokes the name of Dreggnion at lunch! Can't put that last one up on the internet, though.
Man, I want to read this!
I read this in school and burst out laughing. xD
Hey, me too! I'm at school right now! Supposed to be doing a science project...
Could've been an actually viable entry for the Edgelord contest.
1. There's no context for it there. The point is that there's like 5 of the same story already submitted to the thread, so my fart story is the ruinous one.
2. I still would've been the ranty one they couldn't be arsed to pay attention to, except it would've been for actual story reasons this time and not because I outran their puny human attention spans. I regret nothing!