You're certainly right about dreams being weird. I had a weird one not too long ago.
I was walking down a street at night. I don't think I had a destination I was just sort of wandering. Anyway most of the block had their blinds down and their lights out, but there was one house in particular that stood out. It had its blinds open and you could clearly see in because the lights were on.
For whatever reason I felt the need to walk up to this house and look inside the front window. I saw a family preparing to eat. All of them were pitching in, the mother, the father, the siblings, all of them. It was like they were ants or something with the way they worked together.
Before they actually sat down to eat I noticed that their front door was slightly ajar. I felt compelled to sneak inside and see what these people who seemed in such unison could talk about. So I snuck into the house and hid behind the sofa which was in the immediate room I entered from the front door. It was close enough that I could make out their voices, but far enough away that I could run out the front door if they realized someone was the house.
I had no real intention of running though, I had to hear the conversation, so I listened and even watched as I peeked out from behind the couch.
I looked at the father, he was a balding middle aged man wearing typical office clothing. Probably worked in a cubicle. He was going on about about his day and how traffic was bad. He was also praising his son about getting all As on his report card.
The mother was much younger than the father, probably late twenties, in fact she couldn't have been the daughter's mother as they looked nothing alike and the daughter herself was an older teenager. The mother mainly was going on about her online college class that she was taking and excited that she would be at last be done with college and have a degree so she could get a promotion at the place she worked at. Never did catch what job she had.
The daughter was a pretty thing with blonde hair, but was no bimbo. By the way she carried herself in the conversation she was obviously thinking about her place in the future and not worrying about silly things like boys or clothing or some such other teenage nonsense. She was discussing about some sort of political issue that she felt was unjust. Her parents told her to calm down, but it was obvious that she was very passionate about the subject. The funny thing was is I don't even remember what it was exactly. I think it was about the homeless or something.
Don't remember everything the son talked about either, but he was a skinny pre-teen with glasses. Probably a nerd, I just remember him talking about some fighting video game.
So I just watched and listened to this family. I tried to understand and process what it was to be normal, but then I came to the conclusion that it was pointless. Before I knew it, I stood up and rudely told the father to shut the fuck up.
The family as you might expect was shocked to see me in their house. The father reacted with hostility and told me if I didn't get out right now that he'd kick my ass and call the police. I have no doubt that he wouldn't have given me a good fight as he did not have a couch potato physique, but I wasn't interested in a fair fight. I was interested in justice.
I pulled out a pistol and shot the father in both kneecaps. Predictably he went down screaming. Its one of the most painful places to be shot, and I'd just shot him in both. I quickly told the rest that if any of them tried to escape out the backdoor that I would finish the job and easily shoot them before they could get outside. They believed me and sat back down.
The fools should've made a run for it while they could.
While I pondered my next move, the family in unison begged me to spare their lives and told me to take all the valuables in the house. I just shook my head because that wasn't what I was there for and I was insulted that they believed such a thing. I demanded that they all shut up immediately before I took the meat cleaver in the kitchen and started chopping off their digits.
Then I noticed a new puddle on the floor.
The son pissed himself. I suppose quite understandable considering the circumstances, but I couldn't contain my disgust. The vile uncleanliness of it threw me into a rage. To be quite honest I don't even remember what happened next, except that it happened quick. Apparently I'd pistol whipped the boy's face into mush. I mean it was sort of comical. It almost looked like red play-doh. Red was all over the gun, the table, my clothes and the floor. The boy's bloody body sat limply in its chair now reeking of not just piss, but of other uncontrolled bodily functions as well.
When I looked around, the mother was on the floor holding her face, I guess I must've given her a bash with my fist when she tried to stop me from killing the boy. The father has ceased being the protector of the family and was a whimpering mess, I had no more concerns with him. The daughter had slowly backed into a corner, but there was no way she could run without me shooting her.
I was still in control.
The dream gets a little hazy at this point as dreams do. I guess I killed the mother next. I remember some images of her screaming and me stabbing her on the dinner table. I think I chopped off her hands and her feet, but she had long since passed out from shock by then. Probably died of blood loss soon after that. Her husband pleaded and cried, but I just shot the fool in the head. I didn't even want to waste my time with him any longer.
I have no idea why the daughter stayed in the corner watching me butcher her family with the way I did. Guess she was in shock or something. I wondered if she was enjoying it on some level. I even asked her this as I approached her, but she made no reply. For some reason her vulnerability made me want to comfort her, so I tried to tell her that what I did was for the best and that I could take her home and take care of her. She still made no reply and tried to recoil from me. I didn't like this and I grabbed her roughly.
Like I said, the dream started getting hazy. I vaguely remember doing some really bad things to her and enjoying it the whole time. It's really frustrating when you get to an interesting part of a dream and you don't remember the details.
Still, it was a pretty weird dream because when I woke up the next day I had blood all over my hands.
And I couldn't stop laughing.