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Part of my story, I posted it now, beacuse I wanted to hear your ideas of how to improve it.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/viewer/default.aspx?StoryId=17379

I feel like I need more info on the world.

Because its about knights and such.

I want magic and dragons.

Or atleast to be told there arent.

Too much of an info-dump in the beginning -- show, don't tell.

Also, siding with the guards means killing a drunk guy? That seems... excessive. :P

I'm sadly searching for the ."Do nothing button" and not finding it.

I will make that, but it will have unexpected consequences.

Actualy by fighting the the drunk people, which I should have mentioned they were bandits, you show your skill to the Chief, then he asks you to join him, maybe I should make a part where you refuse him

If you give background info make sure to have us 'live' it. A smart idea is making us choose choices at the beginning that will let us set a tone for ourselves in the character. That way we will choose actions that will make sense instead of say... 

Kill drunks, kill guards, something else. I like to know why my character would choose to do one or the other.

"Excessive"? In a story about knights? Not... really. Not if you're trying for realism. 

Oh, we romanticize knights these days, but our depiction of the middle ages is not even close to historically accurate and I'm not referring to magic or dragons. Hell, that part was...sort of true. (It's kind of sad how little the general public knows when so many people are fond of using that time period in stories.)

Knights were kind of assholes if you weren't of noble blood. Yes, "protect the innocent" was a rule, but it applied to women and children of the upper class. >_> Peasants? Not so much. Even the church encouraged brothels to keep knights from raping lower class women on the streets. (Funnily enough, peasant life was better than we think.)

However, going the fantasy route... sure, knights are the paragons of goodness and justice.

I just didn't expect my choice to subdue some drunks to result in my character cheerfully killing one of them. As an option, I'd have no problem with it, but if I'm playing a character, I want to decide if they deliberately kill someone or not. Honestly, having that choice made for me left me completely uninterested in continuing the game.

Ahh. Yeah, I get what you're saying, it's not a choice a normal person just suddenly makes, so it's not something you want to be surprised by... in which case, that would annoy me, too. I'd probably bail as well.

(I am commenting without actually trying it. I'm not all that interested in a story about knights right now, lol.)

You just gave an idea, a third path!

I should really be doing more as co-author.... Lol

Yes you should...!

Well, as per my profile, I am a Historical European Martial Artist, so if you ever need assistance in describing ANY kind of close combat, pop me a personal message and I will send you back as much useful information as I can.

I can also have a lot more knowledge on Medieval warfare to add description to such aspects if you ever need them.

Hopefully together we can avoid any nasty fantasial tropes such as the legendarily foolish "blood groove".

I will, thanks for the advice.

For real, man? That's pretty cool.

... I'm tempted to ask you some questions, too. I don't need info for a story, I just like hearing about history and combat. :P (One of my favorite shows ever is Deadliest Warrior, to the surprise of... no one who's ever heard me geek out over weapons of the past. Great show, satisfied one's thirst for blood and thirst for knowledge all in one go.)

It seems I'm not the only one who loves history.

Wasn't Deadliest Warrior on spike and all over hyped and stuff?

Like how a thousand ways to die is like.

"THIS MAN WAS A NEO NAZI SUPPORTING COMMUNIST AND HE DIED BECAUSE HE SHIT HIS PANTS TOO MUCH. L0L WHAT A SCUMBAG" And then -insert explosions and boobs here-

I'm assuming Deadliest warrior didn't have that, but I don't think I have ever heard anything good form it.

Yes, Deadliest Warrior was on Spike... no, it wasn't over hyped. It was actually an interesting show.  -_-' No, it was not anything like 1000 ways to die. (Yes, it showed people dying, but it didn't have boobs or ridicule of the victims and only had explosions when they were showing off modern weapons or historical explosive weaponry.)

Eh, I remember watching an episode with Aman about US Navy Seals and Israeli Special Forces matching it off. It was actually kinda lame (and embarrassing for both sides tbh) :P

Are you sure that's not just because the Israelis lost? (I mean, i'm entirely sure the results were biased in favor of US for every match involving them - the spetsnaz should have wiped the floor with them - but it was far from lame, if repetition, so it kinda seems like a "sore loser" comment.)

Oh no, it's that the Israelis just seemed silly (and said dumb things, like "We don't shoot ze lights") and the black Navy Seal went crazy with that knife-scene. It was just... Silly :P

It looked like they got a bunch of grunts, rather than the professionals.

Duh, they're comparing base soldiers, not the elite (also, I doubt they would be able to get their hands on experts..)

Navy Seal and Israeli Commandos are the elites. :p

^

Also.

I don't know /much/ about Isreal and their army.

But aren't they like, supah good and bad ass?
Like.

Russia with mechs bad ass.

Awesome show, but they repeat themselves way too often. 

Deadliest Warrior had a lot of terrible mistakes, like using butted chainmaille hauberks, which is very fragile compared to riveted chainmaille hauberks.

Those sorts of details may seem like nit-picking to some people, but it really does make a significant difference with devastating results.