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Moonstone is a book my friends and I are making.

Well, since you asked.

No.

I love every single thing about that answer.

give me 5 anwsers why not

can you even give me 10

?!

I feel like a bully target.

I guess not

1. Animals tend to be shitty protagonists.

2. You seem far too young to make anything good.

3. It's far too close to WC.

4. The setting of foxes and wolves being friends is ridiculous.

5. Games made with friends rarely ever work.

6. If you're not sure whether you should make it, the answer is no.

7. It sounds like a terrible game.

8. You complained you're being bullied.

9. You've given us no details.

10. You will never finish this.

your one about zombies is bad maybe a bit boring

You mean my Necromancy one? That's my best work. What's yours?

the real world is better than the storygame world

What?

I am new here and I only have one storygame

And it's about wolf pups and a fox getting magic powers. Which is terrible.

Your best one is Dawnwood

I wouldn't say so. I mean, the characters in that are all kind of the same and there's not a lot of branching.

I should have never asked this

No, you shouldn't have. 

Ding ding ding ding ding!

The first non-idiotic thing you've ever said here. Give 'em a hand, ladies and gentlemen.

Actually it is technically idiotic because he never asked anything. He shared his opinion.

No, their existing story is about being a wolf pup who is either male or female. I'm super impressed by the extensive fur color choices. Steve, how come I couldn't choose a hair color in any of your games? I feel like that's a real failing on your part.

my one?

My storygame called The Life of packs?

 ???

What are you even asking here?

I posted a link. Did you not see it.

What's causing the confusion here and sudden need for italics, seriously. You can tell us, we're here to help.

No wait.

What are you even asking here.

'my one?' is not much of a post. Make that another one for the 'No' list: "No, because in addition to a poor grasp of spelling and grammar, you exhibit clear signs of difficulty in understanding and communicating basic ideas in your native language.'

edit: listen to what Bucky said. He's the only one who's been able to stop laughing long enough to give a serious answer here.

Ooh, I'm respected. Yay!

Well, there are many good reasons.

1. No.

2. No.

3. No.

4. No.

5. No.

6. No.

7. No.

8. No.

9. No.

10. No.

give me 1,000

now that is funny. mizal would not like to see that

No x 1000

Oh, I forgot to add it is about three female wolf pups and a male fox that are granted with magic.

Ah. Thanks for letting us know.

Altering my response to HELL NO, in that case.

While it's a true, objective fact this would VASTLY improve most so-called literature out there, I doubt even that could save this one.

@Spirit, we're going to try an exercise here. I'm willing to give you a fair chance.

Can you make a case for this story? As in, prove to us it's something you actually care about and that there's something anyone might want to read there. Pretend like you're writing a professional pitch for a publisher.

Why should I. Also, who brought up me being a troll. I am not a troll.

Well, if you convince Mizal your story is good, then you should definitely write it. If not, don't.

Come on Spirit, Mizal is trying to start a mature conversation.

is anyone going to anwser my question

Ok, I am staying this time. It was Mason, he took it too far, and we got onto him about it.

Reading the thread, or simply Ctrl+F would answer your question. So no, no one is going to enable that kind of extreme laziness on your part.

e: except Jimmy apparently! *shakes fist*

Sorry Mizal, already did that.

Edit: But basically, talk about your story, if you are too afraid to do that, Pm somebody that is a pretty good writer. 

Edit again: Congratulations Mizal for your 888 post. :)

Ok Moonstone (the storygame) is where you are a wolf pup or a fox. You can decide what color you are and if you are male or female. You can choose your magic element. 

You have to save your friends before the animal zombies come out. If you get to the cave you have to answer riddles before time runs out.

This is how you would entice readers?

do you like it

I don't want to speak for Mizal, because she probably has a different opinion to me, but that's a shitty idea.

and if time runs out 5 humen zombies with gun kill you 

@mizal

...Troll, right? Am I completely wrong here? Come on, "5 humen zombies with gun" can't have been typed by a real person trying actually to write a game.

I am not a troll I am not even a te- can't say

Oh I mean human

If you're not a troll, and I genuinely mean this, you are just terrible.

Steve, I think that is taking it a little too far.

You think so? I was going to tell her to off herself, but I thought calling her terrible was the polite version.

I would be okay with most people on the internet offing themselves tbh, I don't feel Spirit's really made much of a special accomplishment there.

Yeah. It seems liike if we all sterilize ourselves thing'll be grand. It seems most of the terrible people are just young kids who have incredibly inflated egos.

Ignore. Responded to wrong comment.

I believe teenager is what you were about to say.

Yeah I give up.

I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt here, but even if they're sincere...especially if they're sincere, this whole thing is a lost cause IMO.

I'm happy to speak for her. And myself. And a bunch of other personalities, people, etc.

It's a shitty idea.

Kthnxbai. Come back with actual energy and motivation, don't rely on the interwebs to give you cotton candy reasons why you should do things, when you are (ostensibly) an adult, and can make up your own mind.

But, for arguments sake, here's ten 'reasons'.

I'm

Gonna

Make

A

Game 5

Where

You

Skin

Furries

, lol. #10

oh hi ivy

The thing is, one could theoretically write a decent kids' story about magical foxes and wolves or whatever. Even including zombies. I really, honestly believe there's almost no plot element that couldn't be made to work by a decent writer who was willing to put some care into their work.

The last half of that sentence being the key, of course. And I'm just not seeing it here. Not even a hint of it, at all.

Assuming they really aren't a troll, but instead some genuinely sincere gasoline-huffing wolf baby, this is still some serious apathy on display.  What kind of writer, when asked to talk about their story wouldn't have anything to say?

Fair point. One of the biggest shows on TV sounds batshit crazy if you summerize it.

"There's some ice zombies by a big ice wall defended by a bastard kid with a giant wolf and in the desert place there's crazy fuckers on horses with a lady who has dragons and theres a dwarf but not a fantasy dwarf that is part of a family with incest twins and theres a lady who controls fire and shit and a guy who changes faces and a crippled kid who can become animals!"

There's not even enough of an idea there for me to call it shitty

Sorry Spirit, you failed, go back to the drawing board.

I asked you to make an interesting, professional pitch and you answered with 'you can choose to be a wolf or a fox, male or female, with different colored fur'.

None of this has anything to do with anything. 'You are a wolf pup with green fur' is not a plot.

Afterwards you mumbled one line about animal zombies, which is something, I guess. But what are the characters like, what is the story's tone and theme? How does the magic fit in? Talk about the branches planned. Why should anyone care about this, is what I was asking.

Also, do you have a grasp on how a 'story' works and the point of them, I guess is the other thing.

Seriously, I'm curious now, what would you say the three most important elements of a story are? Because your description included none of them.

This sounds like an animal version of bo2 zombies. Am I the only one that thinks that?

Excuse me? You were the one demanding we all give ten reasons why we thought you shouldn't write your story, all I'm asking you is for a single honest attempt to prove to us you should, or that you even want to. Your original post wasn't exactly convincing, and it's all been downhill from there.

If you care so little about this story that you yourself can't even think of anything good or interesting to say about it, than why should anyone else?

Oh, I believe it cares very much about its story, or at least enough to write the peice of shit, it's just being an attention whore.

Can you give more information about your story? Every story needs some sort of conflict to drive it, what would the conflict in your story be? Are your heroes going on an adventure, fighting a great villain, maybe fighting amongst themselves even? I'd suggest to start with figuring out what drives your story and characters. Why are they doing what they do? I hope you have fun! 

Ok Moonstone (the storygame) is where you are a wolf pup or a fox. You can decide what color you are and if you are male or female. You can choose your magic element.

You have to save your friends before the animal zombies come out. If you get to the cave you have to answer riddles before time runs out.

and if time runs out 5 humen zombies with gun kill you

Honestly Cking, what else do you need to know?

Wait, I can be a wolf pup OR a fox? Shit, I take it back. Make this game, Spirit. This site's a piece of shit without it. I'll unpublish all of my stories if this is made, because they don't deserve to take attention away from the masterpiece of Moonstone.

XD

Right...probably should have read the entire thread before I posted. Oh well, lesson learned!

@Spirit 

Kid, all I got to say to you is this, if you want to spare yourself from all this *ahem* "friendly critiquing"  I suggest you check this out.

   http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=3839

I like how full-on adults are arguing with, and discouraging, someone who seems like a little kid under the age of 10, about whether to attempt to write a story game or not. 

But she asked whether she should write the story or not?

I don't want to keep beating this dead horse but if you have to ask, the answer is no.

The thread could have ended there but I seem to recall us being ordered by the OP to give 5...10...or was it 1000? reasons for why we thought that way. And I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm nothing if not obliging. :)

Why is this thread still a thing?

Because people are still posting in it.

People like you.

...and I guess now me.

Sigh indeed.

Let's just slowly try and click the back button.

Why is posting in here a problem anyway? Nothing else is going on on this board right now.

It is a Good Thread. It entertained me. Spirit should come back and entertain me some more. That's what all of you exist for, after all.

Yes, oh mighty...............

Wait a minute, I see what you're doing there! No thanks, I will not be your eternal slave!

*Hits delete account*

I want a public debate between Spirit and anyone else about various topics. Religion, politics, philosophy. That kind of thing.

xD

We will obey your command, oh great master! What do you ask of us lowly people?

Hmm.

The writing prompts were fun. Let's do that again.

Write me something about magical wolf cubs. It must include zombies of either the animal or human kind. (humen..sorry I mean human zombies can use guns of course)

Your prize: A sense of shame that can never be scrubbed away.

Wait, mistress, don't you mean humen?

bonus prompt: the wolf cub has a debate about politics or philosophy with a spirit

XD

Someone should it for lols

And this is exactly how you would treat your child, if you were to have one, or already treating him or her as such if you already have one? Making fun of him or her simply because this child irritates you? 

I would like to know a little bit more, @Spirit .

1. How would you adapt your story into a CYOA? A lot of people who try to convert a traditional story into a story-game end up making it painfully linear, so that any given option either leads the player down a single path to victory or to a short and poorly-detailed death page. Branching is well appreciated in any story-game and practically a necessity in "basic" or "traditional" CYOAs (that is, those that don't make use of variables or scripting). I would recommend stripping the story back to its beginning and looking at all the different paths the story can take.

2. How were the characters endowed with magic? Is the source of their powers going to be central to the story, the source of an interesting plot twist, or an unexplored coincidence?

3. You mention three female wolf pups. What have you done to distinguish each of the pups from the other two? Are these going to be characters that we can easily recall and differentiate between?

4. Who would be the main character in the story-game? The fox? One of the wolves?

5. Who or what would be the antagonist(s) or conflict driving the story?

6. What is your opinion on the conflict in the Middle East?

The hell you doing, James? Don't you understand that it will take this child hours pouring over a dictionary to even understand half of what you're saying?

You say that like it's a bad thing.

It's just as well. Can you imagine if they'd published that story?

Better to get chased off the forum by some mild teasing than to be the poor, dumb, naive child blithely tossing a poorly written tale of magical wolf cubs up on the main site and then getting held down and repeatedly violated by broomsticks, like what's going to be happening to that kid that just put up a WC story until a mod mercifully removes it.