I'm not sure if this is common practice or not, but I remember doing it for the last contest I was in and liking it. This is just a thread to post about my progress for the contest story and ask for feedback/advice. I'll start by posting my first page of the story, any feedback is appreciated!
One caveat is that this is not up to the first choice--it is just the first page. I usually have two pages in a row that are linear to start because I have long intros. If this intro feels too slow or too boring, please let me know. It is a weakness that I know I have had in the past...
The game is on preview. A link to it is also below, but I haven't gotten that far on it just yet.
U-Cloud Human Cloud Computing: Unplugged
San Francisco 2075
A skyscraper jungle, the hum of the neon signs, a glowing billboard for a bar, crowded streets, people stumbling in a drunken stupor, the stench of piss and vomit, Alex kept his head down as he navigated the busy slums of 2075 San Francisco. Even the people seemed to glow as subdural microchips implanted at the base of their necks flashed green.
Then, those chips flashed red and everyone froze. Alex stood in place, unable to move any part of his body as his microchip locked all of his motor functions. A female voice boomed over the city’s loud speakers, “Robbery reported, city wide scan initiated.”
Shocks tingled Alex’s spine as his memories were accessed by the police. The events over the last few hours were forcibly recalled: they played in his mind like a mental movie fast forwarding at ten times speed.
Grace, a coworker at Volpere, was waiting for him at the bar. Her curly brown hair and warm smile lit up the dark hole in the wall they often met at after work. Blue eyes sparkled as Alex took the seat across from her.
They talked for hours. Alex could only recall one thing Grace said, “I’m a quality tech, but all I do is check for fifty millivolts across the motor control and memory access pins! When did things get so boring?”
“Culprit found,” the female voice announced. Disoriented, Alex looked around as his body control returned. The flashing neon lights and bustling streets of his walk home had returned along with the usual flashing green at the base of everyone’s neck. “All other personnel are released.”
Two blocks down Main Street, a night club, grocery store, boxing ring and apartment were all housed in one building. Alex started down the stairs to the basement he called home when the front doors were thrown open. Two men in police uniforms dragged a large immobilized man out. The man’s microchip was glowing red, and he clutched a hand-railgun.
“Serves him right,” Mr. Dawson, Alex’s land lord, sneered. His stumpy legs carried his plump belly and wiry white hair to the front door of the building. “Trying to take from my hard earned profits because he isn’t willing to work.”
“Sir,” a third officer said to him. “I’m going to need to take your statement on what happened: we take statements from anyone involved without a chip.”
“I work hard and provide a service so people can live safe, happy lives; in return I don’t have to be a part of that. Stop bothering me and pull what you need from that degenerates memory.”
“Our initial scan told us that he lives in your apartments. Why didn’t you just take control? As a registered unchipped business owner you have admin rights over all your employees and tenants.”
“Peter doesn’t live here anymore. Someone else offered more for his room last night, so I threw him out. This is a business not a charity. If he wanted to stay he should have offered up more rent.”
“That’s all I needed to know, sir...” the police officer grumbled as he turned to walk away.
Alex put his hand on the scanner of the rusty door to the basement with a sigh. It flashed green and creaked open. Two doors in on the left he did the same to get into his rundown studio apartment.
Gears, wires, scrapped electrical components, and a several working inventions were strewn about from various projects. Two metal card tables sat in one corner that served as his workbench. It was covered in slightly rusty and dented tools: a soldering torch, voltmeter, hot glue gun, pliers, wire strippers, bent screw drivers, and various other small tools were neatly separated from the mess everywhere else. A bed was shoved in the opposite corner with a small kitchenette, metal table, and two folding chairs in the middle.
“He wants us to live safe, happy lives?” Alex thought with a chuckle. “What a piece of work..."
The tired blue collar worker cleared a few circuit boards that he was tinkering with the day before off his bed and flopped down face first. Peter had lived next door, and he didn’t leave quietly the night before when Mr. Dawson kicked him out at the ass crack of dawn. Fortunately, it was quiet enough on this night to drift to sleep.