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Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
Hi, I was writing a mystery game when I struck a problem.
I noticed I was writing opinionated thoughts, like 'you don't want to be caught up in this mess' or 'you realise she might have something to do with the murder'. Then I realised that I might not be letting the reader think for themselves, in determining who is suspicious, ect, and if I'm going to write things like that I should include a few different sides, e.g. 'she might have something to do with the murder, but she could just be an innocent witness'.
Any Ideas?

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
My question is, why are you writing 'you don't want to be caught up in this mess'? Is this the character's thoughts or is the protagonist meant to be a stand in for the reader? For what reason(s) does the character want to avoid getting into the mess? For the other thing, I would just leave it at 'she's a suspect' or 'she's a witness', not 'might be this or that'. If she's a witness, let the reader decide how suspicious she is. If she's a suspect, let the reader decide how innocent she is. How many suspects and witnesses are you planning on adding?

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
Thanks for the reply, and the 'you don't want to be caught up in this mess' is the readers' or protagonist's thoughts.

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
I think it'd be a good idea for you to check out some of the higher rated games on the site, and also just not go down this rabbit hole of worrying about every detail. If the writing is polished and good and there are interesting and meaningful choices that change the story, readers will be happy.

That said, this might come down to the old 'showing vs telling' chestnut. You really shouldn't need to outright state whether someone is suspicious or not very often, in a more vividly painted scene it would be pretty evident in their actions, the things they say etc.

If you felt like this was enough of a concern that you made a thread about it, you might as well just go with your own instincts that there's something off about the way you're doing it rather than seek the opinion of forum weirdos.

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
Ok thank you so much, I think I'll be a bit more descriptive, then let the reader figure things out for themselves.

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
If you want to leave it up to the reader, give the reasoning without the verdict. Instead of "you don't want to get caught in this mess," say something like "investigators are going to come, as they always do. Leaving fingerprints at the scene wouldn't bode well". The character has given their thoughts and the reader gets to decide. You can throw in doubts from all angles this way, too.

As an option, you can also omit the "you think" part to make thoughts seem more personal in second person. Sentences usually flow better that way, too.

Should I include opinionated thoughts in my game?

25 days ago
Thanks for the feedback! As I said in my previous post, I'll be very descriptive, then see if the reader thinks what I think they're thinking (if you get what I mean). It is a choose your own adventure, after all!