Been a while since I've done this. I've been meaning to get back into the habit.
Just gonna dive right in.
Suggested Fixes
First of all, full paragraph breaks > line breaks 80% of the time, and all the time on this forum. Much easier to read and more visually appealing.
the wood never warmed from family dinners,
Should be "never warmed by family dinners. The heat comes from the family dinners— the wood is warmed by the family dinners. It depends on where the subject (the noun that the sentence is about) is, whether it's passive (having the action done to it) or active (doing the action). In this case, the wood is the subject, and it is passive, so you'd use "by".
They haven't talked to me in 3 years, the only times I've seen them is at family gatherings, and that's because I have to go to those.
Well first of all, "three" should be spelled out here. Generally speaking, for creative writing, anything under ten should for sure be spelled out, and in my opinion everything else should too.
This is also a run-on sentence. The first clause ("They haven't talked to me in three years") is connected to the second ("the only times I've seen them is at family gatherings") without any conjuction through use of a comma. This is referred to as a "comma splice". To fix this, you would either need to change the punctuation to an em dash (—) or semicolon (;), end the sentence at "years" and start a new one, or add a conjunction. I don't believe the latter option really works here.
I'll also mention that "is" is a singular verb, and you're using it with a plural noun (times). It should be "are".
I've been doing just fine in a studio apartment for three years, never making a single late payment, what do they mean poor?
This could be improved by adding "so" before the "what" to link the two clauses, inserting an em dash, or making the last clause its own sentence.
Another suggestion I have— though this one's not entirely necessary —is for you to put quotes around the word "poor", since it's a quote, and adding the word "by" in front of it. It reads cleaner, but the intent is clear either way.
Also, "never making a late payment" is a little clunky. I'd suggest rephrasing to something like "and have never made a late payment". It makes the sentence parallel— which means it keeps the same tense throughout. The first verb phrase is "I've been doing", in which the verb is actually "been", so to match it you'd use "have". Your current version lacks the same sentence cohesion.
I clenched my fists which were laying in my lap, I attempted to look at my mother but she just nodded in agreement, not meeting my eye.
"Laying" means setting something down. You mean "lying" here, which means resting horizontally.
Also, you need a comma before "which". "Which were lying in my lap" is a nonrestrictive clause: a part of a sentence that provides extra information.
And then we have another comma splice. This should be two separate sentences. Do you see where the break should be?
Another thing you need is a comma after "mother".
As soon as I said the words their faces flashed with annoyance
Comma after "words". "As soon as I said the words" is a dependent clause, and when a sentence starts with a dependent clause, there always needs to be a comma. You know it's a dependent clause when it can't stand alone as its own sentence.
Their reaction shocked me, this was a low blow even for them.
I personally think you should separate "even for them" off with a comma or an em dash to increase the drama, but regardless you do definitely need to make that comma you've already got into either a period, semicolon, or em dash.
Then, looking between the two I realized, they weren't mad at me, jeez they weren't even disappointed, they were just frustrated at me like I was a difficult customer.
This is just kinda a mess. I'd suggest reformatting it like this:
"Then, looking between the two, I realized: they weren't mad at me. Jeez, they weren't even disappointed. They were just frustrated at me, like I was a difficult customer."
The way you've got it set up is missing commas in some places and using too many at the same time. Try varying your punctuation for both interest and clarity.
I quickly realized they weren't going to say no "Fine, but don't expect me to treat this man like I'm the one who chose to marry him".
Unless you have it there as part of the character's voice, I'd remove "no". If it's meant to color the narrator's own way of speaking, I'd suggest sneaking in a few more things like that.
My father hands over a resume, like this stranger is applying for a job instead of marrying me, I look down at the paper, expecting to see a man with cold eyes like my father.
I would switch "like" to "as if" here. That one's heavily semantic though.
The sentence is, however, a comma splice. Need to separate "I look down at the paper" from the rest.
There's something familiar about him, like his freckle pattern or something, but I dismiss it as deja vu.
"or something" doesn't really fit here, but if you really want to keep it I'd suggest a comma after "pattern". I also just don't like the sentence. It's weak.
"Something familiar" and "deja vu" both mean the same thing, really, and it's redundant. I also think it's too obvious that you're setting up for him to be someone the narrator already knows, and I'm not a fan of the character actively telling us she's dismissing something.
In short, your sentence over-explains and kills the tension.
Positives
Becca's pretty reletable, if a tad simplistic. You establish her values well.
You also do pretty well at establishing setting and using it to help paint the vibes of your story, with "warm family dinners" and the like.
You've certainly set up stakes and a conflict early on, which is good.
The pacing is alright, too.
There's also some foreshadowing, though I'd like it a little more subtle.
I didn't see any typos; that's actually impressive, even on something as short as this.
Closing Notes
A comma splice is when two complete sentences are joined with only a comma. To fix it, you either separate the two clauses into different sentences, use a semicolon or em dash (both of which should be used sparingly), or add in a conjunction (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so).
Show, don't tell. Pay special attention to this when writing in first person. Yes, your narrator is "telling" the story. But that doesn't mean she has to directly state everything. Let the reader have to pick up on cues and hints and use their brain, too. And really try not to have your narrator ever directly state her emotions.
