BerkaZerka, The Million Word Malkavian

Member Since


Last Activity

3/17/2024 11:00 AM

EXP Points


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Storygame Count


Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses


Lauded Sage Exemplar



Mind's Eye USA





Trophies Earned

Administrative contributions. Having 4 Storygame(s) Featured Having Infinite Points Posting 13335 Forum Posts Rated 92.5% of all Stories Given by alexp on 02/22/2013 - For being all-around awesome! Given by BerkaZerka on 01/09/2017 - In memorial of mustache wars long long ago~ Given by EndMaster on 05/31/2013 - For Dead Man Walking, Dungeon Stompage and whatever other cool stories you end up creating. Given by JJJ-thebanisher on 10/14/2013 - Great site presence and top notch AE usage Given by Killa_Robot on 12/10/2019 - For showing everyone what the advanced editor was capable of and being a pretty cool dude Given by madglee on 04/04/2014 - Exceptional stories and great moderator! Great work, BZ! Enjoy. Given by mizal on 01/07/2020 - For some of the greatest stories on the site, many years of thankless modding, Ansonia, and being the last bastion of wholesomeness. Given by Sethaniel on 06/14/2014 - Great moderator, amazing game-maker. Given by Will11 on 01/15/2017 - For the fantastic stories, amazing scripting and overall contributions to the site


Chuck Norris Quiz

How well do you know the Incredible Facts About The Awesome Chuck Norris?

25 Questions with Scoring

Featured Story Cows vs. Aliens!

Farmer Brown is on vacation and it's up to Fernando El Fantastico the Bull (that's you!) to save his Herd when Aliens come to harvest them!

(by playing draw poker against a horde of moronic alien invaders!)

Special Thanks to Killa_Robot for playtesting feedback - This Meep's For him! ^v^

Crab Arena!

You are Crab Trainer X! Choose your Crustacean Combatant and Battle for Glory in Crab Arena! The Championship Belt is within your Grasp! Can You Do It? Hell Yes You Can!

Now GO!!!


How To Play

Fight 3 Round Battles with 4 Opponents; and then a 5 Round Battle with the Final Opponent. Each Round you choose an Attack and an Elemental Focus to power it.
CLAW HAMMER beats Body Slam / BODY SLAM beats Double Snip / DOUBLE SNIP beats Claw Hammer
FIRE consumes Air / WATER puts out Fire / EARTH soaks up Water / AIR blows away Earth
A Color-Coded Bar shows the results between the Attacks and Focuses: Green = Win; Yellow = Draw; Red = Lose
Your Attack determines who Wins the Round; the Elemental Focus determines how much Damage you will take and how many Power Points you will gain. Your Wins and Losses at the end of each Battle determine whether you advance or go down in flames.

Featured Story Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)

Can you survive the Zombie Apocalypse? While challenging, it's not as hard as the movies would have you believe - where they always make the worst possible decisions for the sake of drama. At least here, you will be offered logical choices amid the foolhardy and your character cares about survival even more than you do. A serious game with gory detail.

Cameos (try to find them all!)
Aman: Hairy bearded sledge guy
applegirl: Coffee mug zombie teen
Betaband: Neighbor’s fish tank brought to you by Betaband
CovElite: The Cannibal Gaunt Zombie
EndMaster: A survivor tells about seeing a black hooded man walking among the zombie hordes and directing them like death itself
Fireplay: A madman with a taste for fire
JMgskills: A zombie wearing a red shirt with the logo “YOU DIED – END GAME.”
Marmotlord: A School Mascot on the run
playa988: A rather short, buzz-cut, zombie in a baggy white t-shirt and jeans that gets sniped
simplesabley: Tomboy survivor girl
SindriV: A mysterious corpse in the street
Solxd7: A police officer shit out of luck
Swiftstryker: Zombie in a speedo
ThisisBo: An oddly “talkative” zombie not terribly interested in eating brains
ugilick: Karate kicking conquistador

Special Thanks To:
Aman; AtomicWaste; blob; Briar_Rose; HoraceTorys; MBrock; playa988; ugilick

(For their invaluable feedback and playtesting efforts!)

Featured Story Delve!

Slay Monsters and Loot the Bodies!

100 levels of Classic Dungeon-Crawl Hack & Slash!
Can you survive all the way to the end?

A CYS "Flash Game" Featuring -
Weapon Upgrades, Magic Items, NPCs, and more!

Featured Story Dungeon Stompage!

An Item and Character-Stat driven Dungeon Adventure Challenge! Can you survive the perils, defeat the monsters, and win the game?


Special Thanks To:

JMgskills, simplesabley; betaband; Swiftstryker; madglee; October; & urnam0 (who found a second solution to the puzzle chest)

(For their invaluable feedback and playtesting efforts!)

Kill Aman's Mustache

Do you have what it takes to survive the Wrath of Aman's Mustach of Doom?

Are you clever enough to outwit a Penguin with a mallet? Are you man enough to wear a phony mustache? Are you Anime enough to put on a Pikachu suit and head to Vegas?

Find Out Now, In: Kill Aman’s Mustache!

A horror(ble) puzzle of hairy implications with a side of lice...

Note that embedded audio requires windows media player plug-in to hear. You will likely be prompted to allow it if you don't already have it installed.
(Please don't be mean and Rate this game poorly just because it’s a worthless piece of crap. Seriously - you will totally hurt the feelings of the thirteen year old orphan schoolgirl from Korea that I hired to write this and who has very little grasp of grammar and doesn’t speak any Engrish and is dying of toenail cancer – you heartless brutes.)


So You Want To Join A Cult

Which Cult is right for you?

Take this Cult Placement Quiz and find out!

HINT: A Leader needs to be willing to put in a long day.

The King's Logic Puzzle


The king has proposed a contest of intellect.
You have a balance scale and twelve identical looking spheres of gold - except that one is either heavier or lighter than all the rest. Using the scale and only 3 measurements, you must determine which is the 'odd ball' and whether it is lighter or heavier.
If you fail, you get to be court jester for a month. The king has a terrible sense of humor - trust me; you don't want to be court jester (even for just a month). It's part of the reason he holds this contest. It's the only way he can get anyone to 'sign-up' for the job.
If you can correctly guess the 'odd ball,' but not whether it's lighter or heavier than all the others, you get to go free.
But if you can get the right ball AND figure out whether it's lighter or heavier - you get to keep all twelve spheres of gold. They're worth a small fortune - enough to buy your own keep - which would raise you up from lowly Surf to rich Landowner in the blink of an eye.
What do you have to lose - except your dignity...


A Penguin's Fairy Tale

You are 'Penguin,' a small stuffed toy owned by a little girl named Sarah. You love Sarah very much and Sarah loves you. You know this, because Sarah says so quite often. You are Sarah's favorite toy.


Bane Treasure Of The Vampire King

What do I know of cultured ways, the gilt, the craft and the lie? I, who was born in a naked land and bred in the open sky. The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing; Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

Epic pirate adventure in the world of Conan the Barbarian. Sail the savage seas in search of a legendary treasure cursed by the gods!

Dungeon Stompage II

Sixty nine years after Raven's grand adventure, Tempest, the half-human child of the Succubus Lilianthea, takes up the quest to find the lost treasure hoard of the Great Dragon Serpentfang - wherein lies an artifact with the power to destroy the Oblitterum Nomeno once and for all.

Battle even more fearsome monsters and your own half-demonic nature, to recover the artifact in time; before the book of damned souls draws you in past the point of no return!

Five Pin Code

The following is a 'How To It Guide,' for building a Five Pin Pass Code into your game for the purpose of pass-coding Unlockables, Game Sequels, or the like.

Legacy of Dracula's Castle

It has been almost a year since the rumored death of Count Dracula at the hands of strange foreigners. Since then, the dark and foreboding Castle Dracula has remained abandoned and empty.

Some say that the castle is still haunted by the Count’s malevolent will. Others, that untold riches are there to be found within.

So far, none dare to actually go up to Borgo Pass and test the many rumors. Will you be the first?


  • Original Illustrations by MadHattersDaughter
  • Experience the story as a Vampire, Werewolf, Ghoul, or Slayer!
  • Engaging Tactical Fight Interface
  • Play it Straight or full on Deviant


A little ambiance…


Articles Written

Advanced Item Manipulation
You don't have to have Items specifically tied to pages or use $ITEMSTATEXX to pick them up and drop them.

How to Shuffle a List with Scripting
You can use Advanced Editor Scripting to randomize the order of list (without duplicates) using the following method.

How to use On-Page Variable Tricks
The following discusses the use of the On-Page Variable Code (it literally goes right on the Page in the Story Editor, as opposed to Scripting, which goes into the Scripting Boxes).

Recent Posts

feels good on 3/17/2024 10:55:34 AM
Cool Beans Mizal!

Hatter's Sketchbook II on 8/21/2023 4:06:31 PM

Hey all!

It has been more than two years since I last worked on Legacy of Dracula's Castle, and life has not gotten any less busy since then (nor have I gotten any younger). The sad truth is, I may never get a chance to return to working on it, and I think it would be a shame if all the great artwork MHD had done for it was never seen by the rest of the site.

So here it is in all its macabre glory! I want people to see these awesome pieces of art! And MHD, if you see this, feel free to add these to the portfolio of the commissions you have done, or use them for other projects.

Thanks again! And while Legacy of Dracula's Castle may be dead on the vine, I still think these commissions were 100% worth the effort!

Lastly, I have put Legacy of Dracula's Castle on Sneak Peak for anyone caring to see how far into it I actually got. It might be worth a quick read for some. I also included a number of pictures in the game that I did myself, while trying to keep the style and atheistic of the work MHD had done. I'm not including them here, as this thread is a celebration of MHD, and you can see my cheap knockoffs in the game lol!

I still want to finish Legacy of Dracula's Castle some day... Perhaps I will...

New here! on 5/21/2023 7:36:22 PM
Good Luck~

Interesting Comments 8 on 5/21/2023 7:33:14 PM

Sentinel's ULTIMATE ANIMAL ABUSE COMPENDIUM on 3/23/2023 1:37:50 PM
Fun fun!

A brief introduction on 3/23/2023 1:30:22 PM
Welcome to the site~ I find EndMaster's parting comments on these contests to be some of the more interesting highlights here on the site.

CoG staff pissing their pants AGAIN on 3/17/2023 6:14:26 PM
Too true.

Free publicity (and infamy!) on 3/7/2023 7:51:46 PM
Tsk, not even a word about (2 Minutes Hate: Now with omnidirectional vitriol!) - F

CYS Prophet has spoken on 12/11/2022 9:11:44 AM


Hatter's Sketchbook II on 11/5/2022 6:09:12 PM
Love the shark costume! These are such a treat ^v^