Cows vs. Aliens!

COWS VS. ALIENS!: 98%

SHOULD I READ THIS?
Yes, it's an entertaining poker simulator.
Preview: Aliens are trying to steal your cows. The fiends! The only way you can keep your herd safe is to beat those aliens at the great galactic game, poker. Are you up to the challenge?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

RATINGS:

Basic Plot & Coherence: 2/2 (usually /5)
Shockingly, this does manage to have a plot. Basically, this game is a very good poker simulator with an entertaining storyline and amusing graphics.
The plot is highly entertaining, especially because the game as it is doesn’t really need one. On its own, this game is already a clever poker simulator. The plot just takes it the extra mile.

Characters & Development: 0/0 (usually /5)
As compelling a heroic figure as Farmer Brown is, we don't get to see much of his inner conflict. This category is unweighted for obvious reasons.

Grammar: 5/5
I noticed no mistakes.
Mastery of Language: 1/1 (usually /5)
What plot there is is written in an entertainingly campy style that fit perfectly with the tone of the game.

Mechanics & Coding: 5/5
Wow. An entire poker game is coded into choose-your-own-adventure format. That’s highly impressive. As far as I can tell, the coding is seemless, glitchless, and impressive in terms of versetility.

Branching: 0/0 (usually /5)
There’s no real branching, so this category is unweighted.

Player Options/fair choice: 2.5/3
A lot of the game is just based on hoping you get lucky with what cards you draw. In real poker, the entertainment of the game tends to come from judging your opponent’s cards, which is admittedly hard to do in an online version of the game (it’s a nitpick, but it’s my nitpick). That said, considering this is a poker simulator, the options you do have are surprisingly flexible.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I died after a couple rounds (curse those aliens!). I don’t know what the ultimate victory ending is, but I imagine it’s very well deserved.

CONCLUSION: 15.5/16 = 97.88%

Wow! This was great! I got addicted and really enjoyed both the funny story and the game play. The scripting and art was really well done! Everything about the game was polished and fun. The story was just enough to frame the poker simulator and add to it, without being cumbersome. The jokes were good. The cheating and other antics made it more fun than just standard poker. I was going to say the game was too easy (I am decent at poker), but right when I thought that the Aliens cheated me out of all my cows! It ended up being the perfect difficulty (in my opinion). I clicked and expected a cheesy story about karate cows, and found something way better.

This game is just first-class awesomeness. Sure, the author could have written all the tons of scripting and manipulation to make a poker-playing card game and that would have been enough. But instead, this author went way beyond that and included hilarious pictures on the cards and even a story about aliens who somehow know how to play poker in the first place!

I loved the way that it kept going for a long time, forcing you try and beat more and more aliens as the game progressed. I’m not sure how I was able to beat so many so easily, and I wonder if the game might be slightly tipped in my favor (or if the AI behind the aliens is as dumb as the aliens or even non-existent). But it was still absolutely tons of fun. I don’t know why this isn’t rated eight by everyone who plays it – I’m guessing those are alienphobes or something.

This is a really great example of some of the extremes that are possible with this site and the scripting languages and variables that are available to authors. Yes, you can write some great stories here, but if you learn more about how these things works, you, too, can create masterful games like this. Thanks so much for taking all the time it took to write this thing and for sharing it with the site!

It's hard to grasp how much smart thought and tough work went into this. It's not a perfect game, but it's still a pretty satisfying time sink. The aliens being able to raise the bet was a great feature.

There was a moment when I said to myself, "I guess I'm betting the farm." I bet 30 and the aliens raised. I had no choice. When I won the hand it came with a victorious feeling. This game can be kinda tough, especially if you have the discipline not to cheat it.

A feature that would have been cool was a way for your character to cheat, within the confines of the game. Maybe a way to keep a card hidden behind your ear. As only a common man though, I'm not sure how much more scripting that would have made necessary.

This is pretty fun with a great sense of humor. I'll be suggesting this to friends.

cow again

stop poking cows, you will be arrested for attacking out mooing overlords, you develish feind

Very cow, very poker

Played this because of another comment laid down recently.

As others have indicated, it's a great poker simulator, along with some surprise gameplay twists! There isn't that much in terms of a story, but the old narrative trope of aliens abducting cows is more than enough to entertain the player as he tries to make the best hand possible.

I really like how the presence of the aliens also affects the gameplay mechanics. Some rounds can randomly end with cheating, such as having your cards be swapped or having to construct a new hand out of your opponents' cards. This storygame would get points for the poker simulation alone, but creative ingenuity should always be pointed out and admired.

Managed to completely humiliate the aliens. It was a fun game, and it has great replayability!

hi mr person that I don't know, your game is actually more fun than homework. And please, if you play call of Duty, my name is Tuestrate - and if you have any card points, please donate all of them to me, otherwise I'm gonna leave a skunk in your bathroom and give it your bathrobes to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. And instead of toilet cleaner there will be skunk juice ;-P Fresh and tasty just the way you like it! I will haunt you to my last breath ;-) Love you, bye

Your own mother says that your game sucks