Harry Potter...What if?

It's fine. Fine to be boring. Fine for you to finish. Fine for me to stay FAR AWAY FROM.

Why in the Abyss isn't it finished? There's an interesting concept of Harry Potter holding hostages but it is ruined!

This is the worst story I have ever read, you tell me I need to go and fight with the slytherin kids, but I reach a dead end on both paths! This is so bad I cannot believe it.
I would give it 0/8 if I could, but I have to give it a 1/8.

I have to admit. My game sucks. Still. I'm still working on it. If anyone gives, me a chance, It WILL get better.

This story is unfinished. You force us to choose "stay and fight" but that page has no links to continue. The only option is to refuse to fight and get killed by a rock.
Unpublished, since it breaks site rules (no posting unfinished stories.)

This was awful.

I don't usually write comments, but I'm trying to contribute more, so here goes:

"The First Page": What? To be honest, we know it's the first page, and there's not really a point to naming the first page "The First Page."
Also, there's just two options here. It would be much nicer to read a sentence, even if it is, "Please select your gender."

"boy": No capitalization for "boy?" Also, on this page "continue" appears twice, I'm not sure why.

"continue": Okay, now the story starts. What is going on? Where am I? Why? What castle? And that's leaving out the grammar errors...

That's all? Maybe there's a story here, but I didn't see it yet. Were you planning on writing more? One thing about story games here: Yes, you want to get your story published. I get that. But please, WAIT! Wait until the story is done. There is really no point to publishing it before it's done, ever.

Fantastically brutal!

It's bad, but not WC bad. So well done in a way, but at the same time it was pretty terrible.

I can't even fend for myself....absolutely terrible.


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