Love then death

its so bad

Trash

Marvelous text walls. You should put them on the U.S. & Mexican border.

You finished this story a month ago, I wish you'd used the extra time to do more proofreading or at least add line breaks or something.

I described it as 'emo and pointlessly tragically' when you originally posted the sneak peek link and that still stands, but this is unique enough I'd like to see it preserved for various reasons. Unfortunately the grammar and formatting will probably mean it doesn't make the cut.

This was rather difficult to read.
Not only was it in a very monotonous style, but it also had no indents.

However, it did make me wonder what the hair of ten angles looks like.

Next time, don't use the same kind of sentence every time, and work on making smoother backstories.

Never clicked the option to kms sooner.

This was an affront to the English language and you should be ashamed.

I will suggest learning to indent your paragraphs.

All of the bunched up text makes this a bit unpleasant to read in all honesty.

Writing wasn't the best as of yet, but I'm assuming you'll be making edits. Too choppy as well.

I killed myself, just so I could finish this shitty game. Try running stuff through Word at least to help with spelling and punctuation errors.