Ophthalmophobia: A Love Story

I'm going to start with the things I feel held back this game and then move on to the good parts. Firstly, the story was, at times, dramatic and fast paced. I know the protagonist was a writer but I felt he could go on and on during some portions of the story. He kept saying over and over again how he loved Elm -which is fine seeing as he really liked her - but he did the same sort of thing in everything else, which was a bit over dramatic. Also, you tended to develop the plot and characters a bit too fast. The protagonist simply bumped into Elm, talked to her for a bit, and then he was lovestruck(Even though she didn't do or say much). This kind of thing popped up again with Joel. This guy was my best friend and then his mom dies and we stop being friends. We meet with him again, say hi, and that's it, suddenly we're friends again. I don't see why he was necessary to the story.

Now to the good.

It was very well written. Though the describing of the story was a bit dramatic at times it was well detailed. The characters were interesting and I liked how the protagonist had something unique about him other than the usual stereotypical quirks.(Like staring at the moon when he felt sad or something emo like that). I personally didn't know the definition of ophthalmophobia before and was surprised when I learned its definition. If there were more words in the story like that I would have greatly enjoyed the story more.

Overall, this wasn't a bad game by far. I would have definitely giving you a six if you made it longer, a little less drama(At times), and more fleshing out of the characters.

5/8

As a fellow linguaphile, I enjoyed the language and metaphors running throughout this story, which definitely gave it a bonus point in my book. However, that was offset by two things:
Firstly, on the "Steep Hills" and "Arrieta" pages, you use your instead of you're--which shatters the flow more than usual because of the linguistic motif that runs throughout this story. Secondly, the "Love..?" ending seems rather abrupt and doesn't seem to resolve the story other than making a decision--we never see the results of that decision.
Other than that, though, it was a cool twist on the classic love story. Nicely done!

uhmm...yeah, don't. not being bad, but yeah.

Are all the endings bad?

I LOVED THE OPTION TO NOT BEGIN!!! AWESOME!!

Lol, I liked the NO! Ending.

This was a nice story! i hope you make more!

kinda strange but interesting I guess?

could be better

could be better