The Emerald

Well, it's not bad, but it's just too silly. I mean I found a screwdriver after falling from the roof. How does that work exactly? And you needed that screwdriver too. It's a shame because there is potential in making a story about a thief. You could've made it into a strategic story where you need to plan out your route, get necessary equipment, find potential allies, and put them into action later on. Something like what Grand Theft Auto V did with its heist missions. Instead this is a 'click a link and hope for the best' kind of situation

Ha Ha Ha Facts!

Ha Ha Ha Bad Rating!

I get the humour in this will appeal to some people, the kind of people who need to know what "fence" and "launder" mean but already know exactly what the Elysian Emerald is and all the history of it. I'd suggest avoiding modern culture references like Elmer Fudd voices in what seems to be a heist story in a fantasy setting (as a general rule Elmer Fudd references probably wouldn't work in most Fantasy or Heist stories :D).

Take more time writing, give us more details and get more people to proof-read it and the next story will show improvement :)

No descriptions, poor implementation of items, and a horribly short length. Also a few "false" choices, which force you into picking the previous one presented.

I have no idea who my character is, what his motivation is, and also was annoyed that I didn't see the outcome(s) of my actions.

As it is, very lackluster. 1/8

... Describe, dammit. Describe, explain, show us the world you've created and the character we're playing as and motive and atmosphere. Stories need DETAIL and games need ATMOSPHERE and this doesn't have either.

Eh, not bad writing, but there's like 2-3 sentences on each page. You don't describe any motives for to want to steal the emerald, just that I think I can. And the ending is just half a sentence. "You get out and live the rich life."

I mean the grammar was okay and I didn't find any broken links, and you made only one use for the item on the next page that you find the object on. 2/8