The Leacher: Complete Edition

Congratulations, this is very well written and you should be very proud of this :D There are a few minor improvements that can be made: here and there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes so be sure to read over your writing when you have finished it (it's an incredibly boring task but necessary to make sure the writing is correct).

Also I like the Credits at the end but as this is a story rather than film they are probably not necessary.

Overall this is great though: it's imaginative, there's a plot and the characters are interesting. You have a whole fantasy world here and you can write more adventures set in this world with some of the same characters, you can definitely expand this into a series of adventures if you want. Good Work :D

I admit, I am a bit of a stickler, so when the very first page has a misspelling, that’s tough. Unless, of course, you meant for the start to be the beggining… And hey, what’s up with the weird quotation marks at the bottom of the text line to start quotes? I generally liked the writing and the fight scenes, though throwing a sword and slicing someone’s throat? And there’s a technical error, I think, if I throw the sword at Ms. Cloydayes – there are two paragraphs with the sword killing someone. There were a few other minor grammatical errors, but I really did like the story. I liked the development and the journey, that was fun! I also liked the different monsters and challenges.

good story it is realy intreging

it was cool. both acts i: and "ii" were cool, it was worth the time for me anyway! keyp the great work

"“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”
-Dr. Seuss"

Right, so make life more interesting a reality? ;D

I appreciate the length, but...what happened with your formatting? Double commas at the beginning of sentences? Links which don't translate well and show a bunch of foreign symbols at the top? Chapter 5 is listed as Chapter 4.

This needs a lot of proof-reading. Quite a bit of it dragged, there were several pages with no links for some time, the grammar was flaky in a lot of places, and the paragraphing was very blocky as well. It just detracted from the writing and made it difficult to enjoy.

Liked it! I would give a higher rating if the grammar and spelling issues were fixed. There are a lot!

Use grammar properly, please. Also, the story is divided into too short chapters.

At least it was of decent length and features. :)

Good game but this is like a story tht we have to read the choices should be more on every field

The story could have used a few more choices, but it was good. Font was huge though...