The Robot

Pretty crappy. Prime example of why you should not take 5 minutes to write a game.

I died

I gave a robot a muffin and now it loves me. OK then.

it was good but good use some work.

It was really boring...

2/8
Why?-The errors, the robot only liking bran, the fact that you get tortured if you eat the muffins, etc.

Haha my old comments XD

This game wasn't tha terribly bad, although it could be improved on, specifically with the writing and plotline. It seems like a good storygame for children perhaps.

This was so horrendously bad, I don't even know where to start.

The writing was terrible. I know I probably say this on a lot of CYS games, but this one really takes the cake. Every page probably has at least 10 words written only, with no describing words to map the scene at all. Also, I spied a few grammar mistakes here and there. Proofreading this story would be an amazing help, but also adding onto it would be even greater.

Okay, now for the story.

At so many points of the story, you just think to yourself, "WTF? Why?" Like some bad horror flick, except that this isn't horror and it has nothing to do with clicheness. Its more of a logic problem. Because I have no words to describe every one, I'm just going to give you some choice quotes from the actual story. I'm going to try my hardest here to not sound unprofessional.

1. But you don't see anything. Then you have a weird feeling. You look down.

-It would be nice if the author would describe us this "weird feeling" and how it makes the protaganist look down. I don't know about you, but I didn't understand how this works out and I was generally confused.

2. "So you care more about your email than the fate of the world?" it booms. "You. Shall. Pay. Now." Lightning strikes your house. You die. The end.

-*sigh*. In the story, after going outside, you meet a robot whom you give a muffin. It has absolutely nothing to do with the "fate" of the world. Also, this is a totally legit way to die.

3. It's an eerie voice, and it isn't really saying words, but you can feel what it means. Go outside, or else you're doomed.

-If the author would describe how exactly the protaganist is able to understand a threat message without it speaking words, that would be helpful.

4. the robot says, in a strange, mechanical, voice.

-But I thought Robots always speak in mechanical voices ...considering they're mechanical themselves...

Also, one last thing to mention would be the shortness of the story, which I think ultimately affected the quality as well. I only do this for very short stories such as this one, but here is literally the plot of this entire thing in points.

-Hear doorbell ring (and if you choose to ignore it)
-Go to the fridge, get muffins, go outside
-Hear a noise (which isn't described) and then see a robot
-Give him a bran muffin
-The End

So, as you can see, this story falls flat in writing. The author seems to be a either young or very inexperienced. Maybe this would be a good story for children, perhaps. However, I think that this story doesn't meet CYS standards.

1/8. Yes, I think this should be deleted.

Average.

this story was pretty cute. i liked it. it wasn't terribly long or short. Awesome!