Player Comments on Years Gone By

Spoilers Ahead

I stumbled upon this storygame randomly while I was bored on the CYS website. I looked at it, and figured out it was worth reviewing. Here are my thoughts:

"Spooky" Factor: 2/8
Being a horror story, I thought I would rate this on how unsettling this story it is. It fails to unsettle people, but the theme is around a lonely person dying, reflecting on their lives. Some of the bad writing and lack of character development makes this storygame difficult for anyone to be unsettled.

Plot: 1/8
The plot is very confusing. It's about someone who has an imaginary friend named Ana, which would be their only friend. It's relatable at the beginning of the story, but why does she still there during the protagonist's teen and adult years? and why does she come back and kill the protagonist at the end? It just doesn't make sense the further you get into the story. I need some explanations.

Characters: 2/8
The characters are not that great. All of the characters are not that developed. The protagonist was lonely for all of his life, but why? Do they have autism? Do they have depression? Do they have ADHD? Again, I need explanations. The mother was just some distant figure, and the father was a drunk guy. I can see a bit why that affects the protagonist, but does not make sense. Ana was just no one but a friend. She does not develop at all, being an imaginary friend until the very end. Still, her decision to kill the protagonist was still illogical and needs explanations. WHY?!?

Grammar: 2/8
The grammar here sucks. Is probably why all the things I've mentioned before has gone downhill. I see no reason why you should space out all of your sentences. It makes the story very painful to read. Also, don't forget to put a period at the end of a sentence!!!

Gameplay: 3/8
The gameplay is okay. I was able to see all the different events that happened over the protagonist's life, but we do not control the protagonist at all, except when we choose their gender. Branching is very limited, and even choosing whether the protagonist is a boy or a girl does not change anything at all. The author should've gave the readers more control over the protagonist.

Closing Thoughts:
This is a pretty bad Horror storygame. It does not unsettle me, the plot and characters are not put into detail, the grammar is bad and there is one ending. The author hasn't been active for the past three years, so I doubt anything will change from him. Overall, do not recommend.

Final Rating: 2/8

So, eh... many problems.

First, how it was written. Some of the sentences were so bad they didn't have periods. Little to no commas, and every sentence is very separated when you can tell them apart at all. For this, I would suggest reading some books like Harry Potter, just to see how they are written. Grammar was OK, but, like always, it could definitely be better.

Second, pages and the choices. They were very short, and there were hardly any choices. The girl or boy choice only changed one page, and that was hardly at all. The other choices did nothing to the story, and, all in all, I would just write a short story about it since there aren't many. I would suggest just trying to make every (or almost every) choice make a difference, and putting some effort into it. I know that in many stories people do this, but that is mainly to develop it.

Third, there is no way not to lose. Not the other way around like the Story Difficulty says. Again, the choices made no difference to the end. Sorry this one was short. There's just not much to elaborate on.

Fourth, no background or detail. Could you, maybe, have explained how you looked? Maybe what the person did on Facebook? Possibly you could have at least made up a pet or done something with school. You could have done a whole thing about a curse history with Ana if you wanted to. Please add more detail, and to put it a different way, this story could have much more meat on it's bones.

But now the good things. You are probably better at writing by now. If you don't write like this anymore, don't take anything in this seriously. This has potential of a much greater background, if you cared to un-publish it and edit more in.

I hope you put some effort into using my tips, because it took effort to write this review.

While I often complain about people not using the enter key enough, this story is one of the few that fall squarely in the other extreme.

Good job on being unique in that regard.

Sad story, I really liked this. Scary at the same time.
Make more like this!

multiple choice?

Not enough choices. Spelling/grammar issues make difficult reading at times. Let it branch out more...

NO CHOICES.

I loved it. one problem...
2 short
but since the main characters dead I assume there's not gonna be a part two. RiP. great job though! I really enjoyed playing it.

Wow!
This story surprised me when Ana (friend) attacked me and killed me in the end.
Anyway, this story is very good, I liked the past lives and decisions you made in this story.
But I am thinking this story is short, you need to add more pages and more words to the pages, and then it will be a good is story.
(Of course do some photos and do proof read)
Final rating: 4/8

Very well-written, proper grammar and the works, which is always nice to see. I liked it, but was slightly confused. But definitely recommend.

Cool story

That story was understandable and felt like it led to something good but the ending was quite pointless and your decisions do nothing

Ehhhh.

1000 words, full of punctuation errors, no choices, kind of a generic abusive childhood that I guess is supposed to work in place of character development to make the character sympathetic...but then they break down in tears because someone is mean to them on Facebook, which is just lol.

The ending is (I guess?) you being randomly murdered by your imaginary friend, while she rambles about a 'wish' that's only referenced in an option you're never required to click.

This was well-written and the story made me feel just somewhat confused and sad for some reason, it definitely inspired some strange emotions in me while reading it. So, in short, I liked it.

This is a good poetic story but... its a little predictable

poetic, but weak in my opinion. I didn't really feel any sympathy for my character. 3/8

It is not even a game! You have no choices.

It was kinda confusing but all in all it was just ok.

It's so sad :<

She's imaginary! How can she kill her if she's imaginary, Ana is only a figment of her imagination.

Whait what????

It wasn't a Choose Your Own Adventure story, and I was also sad that there was only one ending. But it was a very interesting idea!

I like it! I have a TERRIBLE soft spot in my cold, melted steel blood for poatry.

Interesting idea and good writing. Felt a weird lack of closure though as first I thought the main character was schizophrenic and by the end it seemed a bit supernatural. Enjoyable read though :)

Good. It made me cry silently but it was really short too. Overall, nice work!

There wasn't really much of a storyline, and it felt a bit confusing at times. Keep writing though, I look forward to reading more from you.

That. Was. Creepy.
I didn't really get it. Why did she kill her/him? Why would she be with her soon? It was very interesting, and really only the end didn't make sense. Good game!

Good plot line but slightly short so I give it a six.

Was she a real imaginary friend? I HAVE TO KNOW!!! I'll explain it later if she was real.

I liked the story, especially the ending. Is Ana really an imaginary friend, or is the narrator schizophrenic? There were a lot of questions left unanswered, but I felt that it really opens up your story to reader interpretation.

You could do very well here if you put in some more time and thought.

Wow...

Had to play again! It was so beautiful!

Nope, I was right.

I recommend providing alternative endings and twists in the story, rather than having the Imaginary friend [insert plot details here] after you [insert plot detail here].

It was certainly an interesting concept, but there are LITERALLY no choices, just sections to look at, and then continue the story until an inevitable ending.

Either that, or I didn't check for alternate endings, BRB, checking again.

Beautiful.

Wow... Why are there very few happy stories?

I feel a bit... depressed now.

I'm sorry. I should have added the part about lacking choices in my comment in the forum but...you need choices in order for it to qualify as a CYOA story. At least you did well in the other categories.

Pretty much what the others said-- good, but not very much a 'choose your story'.

That was pretty cool. Never read a ghost story where the ghost is an imaginary friend before ^_^

Nice shock value there; however, it needs way more choices to be considered anything but a string of free verse poems.

It was a good story, but hardly a CYOA. I still liked it, though.
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