Player Comments on Damn Zombies!

It could have been better. There were a decent amount of options but they all ended up in the same place which kind of took the choice out of a choose your story game. The plot was not the best in that you didn't explain why the zombies were there in the first place. The only thing I liked was the spelling but you used a bigger font than normal which was weird.

3/8

Not bad for your first attempt, a few pointers.
- I think it would have been cleaner for you to allow the player to pick if they were a boy or girl in the beginning, and then just have different pages. All the (he/she) parts kind of got in the way.
- You should make pages that are longer than a few sentences, otherwise people won't get into your story. Also I don't know why you choose to have a font larger than normal.
- It had its funny moments, but the story was kind of lacking. I also never even got the condoms back from the zombie, which makes me sad :(
- Had no real issues with grammar or spelling

So...yeah. Not bad for your first attempt. Also if this is a demo like you said, you should put a demo tag as one of the tags so people don't think this is the complete version of it.

Not much substance to the story. The protagonist is a cardboard cutout of a man or woman but it doesn't matter. The author is obviously not confident in their ability to write a cohesive narrative given that one of the endings literally says "This sucked".

The story is linear so there is not much choice in what you are able to do. There were definitely not enough explosions or mowing down a bunch of zombies with multiple weapons. I ended up clicking until I found an ending because "deaths" by the zombies would loop you back to the previous page. Also, there's an extra space between "your and cock" in the description so if you ever come back you should probably fix that.

funny af, I liked it

laughed my ass off

It's definitely has potential but overall was a entertaining game for your first game keep up the work and you'll make it :)

It's really just a series of nonsequential events. Nowadays, this story would have been taken down.

This was pretty damn good for a first story game- though it's been a while since I was on this site, so take what I say comparing this to others with a grain of salt.

The first thing I noticed is that you can only go one direction, and there is only one ending. You can't have another ending unless you die, and I tried every route. The second is that most of the choices are based on luck. One gets you killed, one doesn't, and some of the choices don't make any difference to what you find on the second page. I would recommend that you try to make at least two endings, or maybe just have a few paths branch out for more than two pages that just lead to the same place for a bit of variety. The other things I noticed are that there isn't much detail. It's not a big problem, since this storygame obviously isn't supposed to be too serious, but it is a thing. The last bad thing I noticed is the punctuation. Remember the periods after sentences, including speech in quotation marks, and add commas in the pauses.

Now for the positive! If this is your first storygame, like I saw in some comments, it's pretty good! It's better to make a fun, and goofy one not meant to be anything like Dead Man Walking and get light criticism, improve, and know how toxic the comments can get than try to make a masterpiece on your first shot and get beaten down by everyone who finds a tiny flaw.
I personally enjoyed this, if not for the plot for the goofiness. It was fun.

Another thing- if I seemed harsh, know I'm trying to help with the limited writing knowledge I have. Constructive criticism.

5/8

Pretty funny XD Like how it reperesents a lot of zombie movies lol.

nice but why did i have to die by falling lol

not bad for a first story not the best but it was fun

WHY CANT ALL CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH BE LIKE THIS??!?!

Nice story

again again

lets do it again

wxwqdc

wild and entertaining. make longer.

Really Funny

it was fine

funny

cool

good story

It isn't the most detailed or anything, but it did get a few laughs out of me, so it's worth the few minutes to go through it.

It was short :/

Could have been better but good for your first time.

It needs to be bigger

three letters. l. o. l.

i love you make a secone one

i thought it was funny and a short little game to play if you need a good laff

This was hilarious. I think it would've been better longer though.

i loved it

This game is crap poop all over the title got a little excited but when playing I got fucked all over!

I saw quite a few grammatical errors, but I won't be a grammar nazi. Funny enough, but the game didn't give me a load of options. It seemed like there was only one (obvious) correct path and the rest were just, "death"

Needs to be longer...

It needs to be a lot longer, I foun pad it a little bit too easy to win. You could add (just a suggestion) lots more zombies, and in the beginning you could let the player choose their gender, instead of putting (or him) after every time that it has an option for a husband or wife.

This game literally gave me cancer

I really recommend that you take time in to your work. My first game "The Wolves" was a very short game but it went into great detail.

You have some potential from what I can tell, however, there were so many grammatical errors I nearly died

2/10

this is short. i understand but you could at least put like "u escaped the zambies"

I understand trying to make it funny, but you could've put more work into making this.

I didnt entirely like it...but i have to admit the condom thing was funny this might not be the best but it was funny ill rate it 5/10 since it was an alright story

Meh... It was okay.

Good... TO POOP ON.

IK this is your first story, but the thing is is that if you do something you gotta do it right.

cool and funny

really funny and exiteing :)

XD
Aaron and I couldn't stop laughing.
This is amazing! XDDDD

Wtf is this shit? Even for a first zombie game its complete shit. Its all my fault though, since I read the shit plot summary and still played it. Dont ever play this shit CYOA game ever in your life, okay?

very short and you don't get to kill any zombies

Not that bad

It is pretty good ps that does not work

i saved my lover and his condoms

it was better than i thought it would be

Wait... I am a girl.. aren't men supposed to be the ones saving women?
Well.. yeah.. but you are just too much of a kickass girl to let him save you first!
XD

It was... interesting. It definatly needs more details though, and more ability to choose what you want to do. So far as I can tell, there is only one main path.

It was a great game I dont see whycevery one eles dosent eprshated like I doo

...

It's funny if you have the same sense of humor as the writer (I do). Also, it's super short and their first game.

It was ok. It was one of those light entertaining reads. Writing in more detail might have done this game some good. ALso, it's a game about zombies but you can get through the whole thing without even encountering any? That was a bit of a disappointment.

Funny, but short.

The storygame is good, except that it feels like it's pushing you in this direction. You wanna buy the assault rifle? Nope, too bad, you stick with the zombiedecapitator (or whatever it was)! I give it a 3/8. This would be more fun if it actually had a CYS premise.

ah nah

that was awesome, but the beginninbg was creeping me out. and its way to short, just saying

was fairly good. Kind Disappointed at the gun store choices.. You should have an option to stick with a $500 gun, instead of making the person buy the zombinator 5000.
Other than that, good story! Glad you posted it

While this shows some promise, the story practically forces you to play through the same path. You could definitely improve this story, I'm sure you can make something great.

you have potential but get off the wierd stuff and actully good choices

Well, you acknowledged the game sucked, and I have no reason to believe that you will try to make any improvements. So, I give this game a 2/8.

holy crap, i couldnt think of something as that, it was so bad it was good.

It's completely linear, if you make the "wrong" choice, the game just returns you to the previous page. Not very well written, lots of run-on sentences and sentence fragments. I guess it's supposed to be humor, but it's only funny if you like potty jokes.

5/8 its good make more and add inventory dogs explosion and other stuff like morgan freeman

Nice effort - good fun and well done if its your first attempt at storywriting.

Regards

"Yeah but you're a kickass girl..."
Nice story, and This is a rather easy one bcause if you lose you restart to the action before!
But its too short and I haven't tried the pizza...
7/8

Still fun

It was good for your first story.

this is stupid and offensive to wemen that pizza from the hospital was poopy

Are you a boy or a girl, if you are a boy,
Nice work DUDE
I gave you:
6/8
:D

It was funny and short. It was good for what it was. I give it 6/8 why the heck not? It was his first story.

Pretty good!

There's so many games on this site about humans trying to survive a zombie apocalypse. Someone should make a game about a zombie trying to survive in a human apocalypse! ^_^

Chose your own boredom. CHOOSE IT!

Not much to be said except that the writing wasn't great, but it wasn't as bad as the plot.

Nice randomness. Shouldn't't this be in modern adventure? Just 'cause ther's zombies, doesn't make it fantasy. They're out there. Somewhere. Lurking…

...Uh. I commend you on the option to be male or female. That's about all I can say.

nice story but i think if it is more exciting it will be better

BRILLIANt

this was lame

I made their hell!

Totally ridiculous. Also, entirely linear.

pretty good for your first game. Should be in modern adventure

i love zombie games

IT was good could have been longer but i liked it

Haha funny sh**, easy and straight forward but fun haha.

Were the story longer, with 4 or more endings, it would have been many times better. You only gave the illusion of having control of the story.

i ran outta ammo but still shot my gun?wtf?suck my duck.eh....condoms.

yay

awsome but whats with da condoms?? 6/8

you should have made a gender variable, and making such a fuss about the condoms seemed pretty weird.

I'm actually surprised that this is a demo, I couldn't tell at all. I like it but there are few things like that whole thing about he/she, you should really just 1. Make our character permanently a girl or a boy or 2. give the option of weather we are a boy or girl. And you should make your pages more detailed. I don't really mind that you used a bigger size because as long the story is good I don't really care what size it is, as long as I can read it.

Almost as good as my first game. It came out today