Gay and Depressed: The Snowbunny Society

Like tcat said, there were some funny moments, but it was all a little overwhelming, especially the overly negative endings. This is a gay and depressed story, so negative endings are to be expected, but I think these endings were a little too extreme. You want to have a balance between funny endings and edgy, and sometimes it felt more edgy without the counter balancing humor.

But other times the humor did work.

I think the dog scene was pretty shocking and funny, in a dark humor sort of way. I also got the ending where they go to wendy's, that was a good callback to Fresh's story, where Peter and Dergo go to a Wendy's.

And I found the idea of a "snowbunny" society to be really funny. I think you just went too hard on the humiliation of the protagonist so it didn't feel as funny.

Also, this story and terrorist are both really edgy, but i think i liked terrorist better because in that story, the reader was constantly on edge waiting to see what would happen or what crazy thing the kid would do next, but here it just felt incredibly depressing. Which I know is the point of the gay and depressed stories, but at times it felt too depressing, when it should have a mix of depression/humor. I did think it was a worthy continuation to the gay and depressed series, and I think it was better than the original and mine. I did like Fresh's more.

I found the alaska ending to be funny, and the ending to the art exhibit. you showed me that passage at the end, and it was just as shocking and funny as i remembered. The art exhibit ending was definitely the funniest ending.

I think the main critique I have is that with gay and depressed stories, I think you want to keep it more tight and crisp. This style you have of writing longer pages works better with Terrorist and fleeing the forest, since in both of those stories, they had more of a plot with a character who controls his destiny and is trying to acheive an objective, but here since the protagonist's fate is to just die in a really gay and depressing way, I think the pages could have been shorter, and the story a bit more crisp to take out some of the redundancies.

This is not to say I didn't like it, it's just at times it felt a little like it dragged and got too depressing to watch Tyrone humiliate these people. I think it would have been better to leave the shocking parts while trimming out of some of the less shocking parts.

I also thought the dad's reactions were really funny at times, and i liked the way you cut from seeing the ground rush in front you, directly to the aftermath of the character jumping out of the window.

Overall, good job on submitting for the contest and thank you for continuing the "Gay and Depressed" tradition. Hopefully, this series takes over the entire site.

I'm not sure if it's people being overly negative because they hate you, or the fact that this type of thing **is** my bag baby, but I liked this a lot more than the others are saying.

It did feel like it was trying too hard, but eh.

It's kinda like a walmart discounted Endmaster post. Or like if you took Tales from the Basement, wrote it in a shittier way and went too hard with it.

Either way I did like it.

I was very, very disappointed that we didn't get to see BigChoc tear up dat ass. If you're going to go this route mang, you can't half-ass it. You have to clap them cheeks till they're black and blue. No "just the tip" bullshit. You need to go balls deep. Otherwise, it's just a sad mix of flaccidity and anticlimax.

Well this sure was something. Maybe the humor just missed the mark for me.

Sorry to all the writers whose stories I could’ve read but chose to insult by reading and posting a review to this instead. 0/8

It's... gay. I told myself I'd comment on every story for this contest, so here I am. Commenting. On... this. Not much I can say, lol. Congrats on avoiding SHAME

Imagine if you had spent this brain power on something new and imaginative.

Womp Womp

Ben I wouldn't call this family friendly

I won't lie. Alot of this feels like you just looked back on that "EndMaster’s Edgelord" Contest from 8 years ago and just tried to copy Endmaster's trashtalk. Whilst it was kinda funny then because it was almost ironic and Endmaster had the colourful vocabulary to back it up. This story doesn't really have the same affect. A lot of it feels like its just feels like the embodiment of early high school to middle school humour. Whatever humor that is derived from the first page will have already soured by the time you hit the "next page" button. Filled with the same predictable joke, I can't exactly help but feel like I'm watching a clown telling the same joke for 30+ pages. I've seen better work from you.