Inseparable
A
love & dating
storygame by
Mizal
Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/21/2019 9:17:33 AM
Player Rating
6.06/8
"#87
overall
, #7 for
2017
"
Based on
354 ratings
since 11/05/2017
Played 19,275 times (finished 539)
Story Difficulty
1/8
"No possible way to lose"
Play Length
2/8
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
Maturity Level
6/8
"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably be between PG-13 and R.
Tags
Contest Entry
LGBT
Romance
Serious
Socially Important
It doesn't matter what they say...
Player Comments
Inseparable was a fantastic story!
Unfolding different parts of the story as you visit different locations in the village was a really effective storytelling technique. Inseparable tells the story of 2 lovers, Mirk and Mondy, giving us a short glimpse into their lives. We play as Mirk, who's exploring his surroundings and as he does so, thinks about his past.
The start of the story was captivating, as we are immediately thrust(pun-intended) right in the midst of a sex scene, which is a bold choice but the author pulls it off.
From there, we find out that Mondy has an incurable disease, and is weak and bed-ridden. This is an interesting premise that immediately grabs the audience's attention. Right from the get-go, we're already invested in their love story.
As Mirk travels from place to place, we learn more about him, Mondy, and their lives through his stream of thoughts. Some places bring up memories of sadness, other places bring up memories of his love with Mondy, and so on and so forth.
This was a risky approach, primarily because switching back and forth from the past to the present could cause lags in the story because authors might focus too much on the past, resulting in the audience losing interest as the flashback drags on and on. But that was not the case here. The author keeps the flashbacks short and poignant, with each sentence really hitting audiences in the feels.
Each place in the village carries different memories, and each place really seems authentic. I could really imagine and envision what these places must have been like within the context of the disease wreaking havoc on the village. We see how the different locations were before the disease and after, which is really hard to pull off as a writer.
This story game was also a fantastic example of LGBTQ+ representation. There are very few LGBTQ+ stories on the site, and Inseparable is easily one of the finest examples of a gay relationship done right. Mirk is a 3-dimensional, fleshed out character that isn't just a stereotype or token representation, but a real gay man. The author took some care to show the depth of love Mirk has for Mondy.
Another really fascinating aspect of this story is how the author showcased the very real phenomenon where communities ostacrize marginalized groups when disaster strikes. This is something that has happened throughout history, when a group of people go through significant hardships, subgroups that were historically treated with disdain are now painted as the scapegoats and receive much more hate. This was a really important theme of Inseparable, and is also a really interesting instance of verbal irony, since the title of the story is "Inseparable", yet at the first sign of hardship, everybody from the priest to the housewives in the communal kitchen ostacrized the 2 lovers. It's really tragic how the village has a communal kitchen that, even in present day after the plague already struck, still had hot stew and potatoes available for the taking, yet that small bit of compassion couldn't be shown to 2 individuals who had done nothing wrong besides be gay.
I really enjoyed the insertion of the Emily Dickinson poem, the presence of items in this story was few and far between, so the one item that appears(poem) must be of significant literary significance. "Years had I been from Home" is a famous poem by Dickinson that beautifully offers a thematic parallel to Mirk visiting the village in the first time for a long time(for he and Mondy had moved to a home removed from the rest of the village after Mirk sold his stuff to pay for Mondy's treatment) as this poem is also about a speaker who comes back to home after a long time and experiences fright at the change that happened while she was gone. The poem shows how the narrator is more and more frightened of the home, with Dickinson making the home into a character of its own, questioning and accusing the narrator of what business they have there, until the narrator runs away out of fright. That was a masterful and intentional choice of poetry to enhance the overall story, because the plague/sickness wrought great change in the village, because so many people had left so the village became dead and as a result, the survivors were intolerant and homophobic.
I really enjoyed the suspense that the author builds when you try to visit the abandoned house, where the author keeps rerouting you back to the village by saying "You don't want to visit this place", naturally making us keep trying to get there. That was a unique piece of storytelling that led us to the final piece of the puzzle being revealed, how Mondy and Mirk got to where they are now, because Mirk sold his family home, business, furniture and everything to keep Mondy alive, at least for a bit longer.
Finally the multiple endings. They were all tragic, but tastefully done. Ultimately the endings were bittersweet(barring the one where you choose to abandon Mondy and then commit suicide, that was really sad), and they really stayed with me even after I finished the story.
I'll give this one an 8/8. The writing was incredibly well done, it was a very believable and heart touching love story with deep and complex themes. I don't know how it could be improved, it was really well done.
view more...
—
RKrallonor
on 12/1/2024 5:38:47 PM with a score of 0
The following sums up what the core of the story is: ... warm memories of the time you had together flood your brain. You take them with you when you go.
Visiting the detailed locations in the story's setting, each location told a story of its own and you can appreciate the detail that went into crafting how each piece fit together to form the whole.
The search mechanic rewards the player by allowing them to discover even more in each location and this is a good devise to impart the little details that make such exploration worthwhile.
I do think the story would benefit by having the ability to circle back around each location, in case the player wants to revisit some of the warm and caring memories that all come together in the end.
If I had to go negative, it would be that I wanted more. More about the procedure done, more about the debt collectors and more about the special relationship between mother and son-in-law.
This might have made the story a bit larger, so I realize this suggestion may be out of the scope for its intended audience.
view more...
—
Eiwynn
on 2/22/2020 3:54:24 AM with a score of 0
I can just imagine the angry puritans from the church, all gathering outside the poor men's house with torches and pitch forks, chanting, "It's Mork and Mindy, not Mirk and Mondy!"
Got to say, I was very surprised by the twist at the end. I congratulate you for giving End a run for his money in terms of edginess... Still, I found the relationship between the two men to be very sweet, and for some reason I couldn't really think badly of Mirk, even at the end. Poor little bugger. :(
Also, incredibly impressed with Mirk's stamina, since at the beginning, you have the option to just repeatedly make love to Mondy as many times as you like in a row without stopping... I guess when you love someone that much, your passion just goes on forever. (Also, very impressed with how well he was... "preserved"... Both inside and out. They must be some potent embalming oils.) ^_^
I think my favourite part what the abandoned building in the woods... By the third time I had to click on it, I was practically ripping my hair out with anticipation. I was like... "What? What's in there? What happened? This had better be fucking good!" ... And it was. I definitely didn't see that coming.
Reading through the comments has got me having second thoughts about the whole story now. I mean originally, I assumed the church and the mother turned against Mirk and Mondy's relationship because "God hates fags" and all that... But now I'm wondering what order everything happened in... I mean, after your son brings his recently embalmed lover over for Sunday dinner, even the most understanding mother is going to raise an eyebrow. :p
Any way, to sum up... Not exactly sure if it's what you intended, but this was a really sweet love story... I mean, yeah, it was incredibly fucked up, yet still, while the relationship wasn't described in a massive amount of detail, it came across very nicely just how happy the two of them were together... And I'm sure Mondy would have appreciated knowing that their love was strong enough to transcended even death itself. ^_^
view more...
—
Avery_Moore
on 8/6/2019 9:54:53 AM with a score of 0
WHAT. I laughed, cried and was kicking my feet all within like 10 minutes?! that- that was art.
view more...
— Depresbian on 10/25/2024 10:08:05 PM with a score of 0
🥀
view more...
— Adeline on 10/21/2024 7:01:20 PM with a score of 0
7/8 - I really loved the sad ending which I got.
view more...
—
Fire_Of_The_Universe
on 10/7/2024 5:28:05 PM with a score of 0
The writing was relatively simple in this story, the chapters were short, but everything which was said was efficent, i feel like mizal put her soul into this one. It like like this story was personal to her, like she can identify with some of the themes within the story, the writing wasnt complex, but i could just feel mizals energy and seemingly state of mind which she wanted us to feel while writing this, and maybe the one she was in while writing it, ooze through the screen and into me, which is what writing is all about, and she accomplished that perfectly here, grammar, writing style doesn't matter, if you can accomplish that, affect the guest emotionally, you've perfected your art.
This story wasn't really a choices matters story, despite whatever you pick to happen, they all end the same, with you with mondy. Oddly enough, i wont take any points off this story for that, as it feels like it shouldn't or couldn't have been any other way. This is my favourite story by mizal so far. The themes presented in it, of social rejection, the poem which represents perfectly peoples fears of going home, not feeling like its home anymore, so so beautiful.
overall, it was a short story, but i think that ended up being in its favour, it wasnt dragged out, it wasnt anything but it was meant to be, a story about two guys in love, loving each other to the end. Overall i gave it a 7/8
Mizal made me feel things from this story, it affected me emotionally, and for that it gets a 7/8. Best romance story ive read!
view more...
—
mrcrimsonclean
on 7/18/2024 8:54:07 PM with a score of 0
I think I read this on Wattpad one time.
view more...
—
Suranna
on 2/20/2024 11:40:58 PM with a score of 0
amazing
view more...
— laura on 7/4/2023 10:59:51 PM with a score of 0
Does it only have 4 endings?
view more...
—
Josh010
on 4/11/2023 12:46:11 PM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Home
Storygames
Random
Search
Newly Created
Top Rated
Fantasy
Grimdark Fantasy
Sci-Fi
Modern
Horror
Love & Dating
Mystery / Thriller
Family Friendly
Historical
Puzzles / Games
Edutainment
Fan Fiction
Forums
Newbie Central
The Lounge
News & Updates
The Parlor Room
Creative Corner
Writing Workshop
Reading Corner
Adv. Editor Forum
Wishing Well
Bugs and Problems
My Stuff
Storygames
Pictures
Messages
Notifications
Duels
Saves
Comments
Points
Commendations
Notepad
Profile
View Profile
Help & Info
CYOA History
About Us
Privacy Policy
Terms Of Service
Logon
version 23.22 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2024, Halogen Studios Entertainment |
contact us