In the news

There are...a lot of words just to say that the street is quiet. But the first page does have a lot of detail, which is really great.

This storygame read a lot like one of the Famous Five or Secret Seven books by Enid Blyton; it had that feel of a children's mystery to it. Sadly, though, I actually found myself somewhat bored reading the storygame. There was an awful lot of information dumping, and it would have been better to have the information revealed throughout the storygame. For instance, the player character's relationship with the adults in their life could have been shown through interactions with the other characters, or even with flashbacks, rather than just saying something like, 'The police officer was like a big brother'.

I would have liked to see more of a mystery. The storygame did fit with the theme, to an extent, although there didn't feel like a big, triumphant payoff even when I reached the 'good' ending.

With some more work on this storygame and a bit more control over the events given to the reader, I do think this could have been a lot better.

It is fine. The writing blends together, leaving me not necessarily excited to solve the mystery. The characters exist to press the story along but that is it. (Even the names of the characters do not help to characterize them. At times I was not sure who was who.)

There is promise here though! More practice, character work and some style can go a long way! The plot itself is just not very intriguing. And I hate a boy protagonist but that may just be my problem.

I liked the prose! The small scope of the story made this feel like a quick snack. Sometimes longer isn't always better!

It's a good game considering the circumstances it was made in, but still slightly lacking. 5/8

Decent writing, but the branching left a bit to be desired.
It was a fairly linear storygame.

If this was a published storygame I'd give it a 4 or 5, but considering the circumstances, final score: 6 out of 8.