It's Raining Again
love & dating
, #36 for
Played 2,128 times (finished 202)
"No possible way to lose"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"Aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
A short story written and scripted in about four hours.
This isn't meant to be a masterpiece or an attempt at being deep. Hopefully it shows that a competent 20 page story can be written in a weekend's time.
Contest entrants: there's no reason to garner SHAME when entering a contest on the site. Just sit down and write.
I thought the story was extremely well-written. It was short and simple, and yet the tone and general feel was something that drew me in. I realize that sentence was poorly stated so allow me to elaborate. This story is short. The author’s description states it. The play length is aptly set. It will take no time at all to get through the entire thing and that actually adds to it! But wait, how can not having a lot of words on a page actually add to the story? Great question, [insert your name here]. The general feel of the story is emptiness. Everyone is dead except you. The love of your life is dead. There are no other people. None at all! The pages were barely filled with words and it only reminded me of how lonely of a world this was.
The backstory instantly immersed me into this lonely world. You learn two things right away: there was a plague epidemic and witchcraft is punishable by death. It’s a grim, chaotic world and you get the feeling that death was abundant. It felt like unraveling a tapestry. The choices that you make reveal the picture little by little. Although it seems impossible to lose, there are multiple endings so the game element is included by searching for them all.
Things that stuck out to me:
- The first sentence is the title of the story. Well duh, anyone would notice that. No shit, [insert same name as above]. I like it when the title of a book or movie is mentioned in the content. I think we can all agree it’s oddly satisfying.
- The first page has a really long sentence that goes on and on and seems like it would be better off split into two because it read a bit awkwardly even when read multiple times. It’s actually not that bad, but I did find it awkward.
- Suspense is heavily built on the first page.
- There are plenty of references. I caught the mention of BerkaZerka, which made me think there could be more cameos of CYS members. You’d have live under a rock or be 5 years old not to catch the Rolling Stones reference. Not sure if “Muddy Waters” was meant to reference the blues artist. I’d like to think so. There’s a line that includes the phrase “more than a feeling” possibly referencing the song by Boston. Maybe I’m reading into it too deep, idk.
- When it rains in movies, something bad is about to happen. This kept the same theme.
This was a nice reminder that a good, well-written storygame doesn’t have to be a 500k page epic. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
on 12/14/2018 8:14:29 PM with a score of 0
Reading the story description, I’m not sure about how to comment, review, or rate this story. You’re mentioning that it’s not supposed to be much, but you did write with a number of endings in just four hours. With only 1,400 words, this is clearly going to be quite short, and with five endings, even shorter (unless all the endings are off one page). So I guess as I head into this review, my expectations are a bit low, which it appears you expect as well.
Okay, I’m not sure about the first four pages. They are all very short and have no choices. They aren’t even at really good breaking points, to be honest. If there were a scene change related to the breaks, that would at least make a little sense, but in this case I can’t really see why they’re not all one page, other than just trying to inflate your page count.
Next up is the “choices” page. I’ve seen this type of setup before, where the reader is actually forced to choose every option on page. I think it can work okay for a couple choices, but for four choices, well, there’s not really a choice there, is there? How different would the story read if there were simply four consecutive pages with that information? Of course, in that case, I’d likely complain that the story was too linear without choices. Then again, I think it is fair to call these choices false choices because it clearly doesn’t matter which one you choose or what order you choose them, you still have to choose them all.
I played it a few times and can see the effects of the scripting and the effects of that other actual choices. Yes, the scripting works. Is it a competent story? Well, there’s no glaring tense or grammatical errors, if that’s what you’re asking. Is it much of a story? Not really, but clearly you knew that when you published it. Is it decent for a four-hour attempt? I would say yes, it isn’t bad for four hours of work. Is it something people should feel a desire or need to read? Maybe not so much. So nicely done with the purpose you had in mind, but there’s not much more there!
on 5/3/2018 1:50:29 PM with a score of 0
What I think is most effectively executed is the tone. The world feels empty and cold, and the two endings I got felt consistent with the choices I'd made. Of course, it is rather short, but its time is spent well and I enjoyed my experience with it. Great job, Bucky!
on 5/20/2020 3:13:58 PM with a score of 0
Well, I rated 5 out of 8. It was more like a story than an adventure game, but it was very well written and it told the reader the lovers' feelings throughly. I would not be saying it's bad, nor it's an excellent piece. If I have to leave a little phrase for this....
on 4/26/2019 6:04:37 AM with a score of 0
It was amazing
— Hi on 12/18/2018 11:29:13 AM with a score of 0
I now feel a deep urge to paint my room black.
Anyway, it is a good, quick read that I enjoyed. The setting and description are very clear, and it is not hard to picture the world it is set in.
on 12/17/2018 11:31:04 AM with a score of 0
on 11/29/2018 1:19:32 PM with a score of 0
Well, the story was great. It’s incredibly well-written and very thorough for such a short piece. However, there weren’t really any choices. It didn’t feel like anything I did would have any effect on the ending.
on 11/28/2018 7:44:57 PM with a score of 0
Damn, this was good. I had it in my saves for a while and finally got around to reading it. Great writing Bucky!
on 6/22/2018 11:03:43 AM with a score of 0
I personally did not like this and I would not recommend this to anything. I feel attacked tbh.
on 2/9/2018 10:52:31 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Love & Dating
Mystery / Thriller
Puzzles / Games
News & Updates
The Parlor Room
Adv. Editor Forum
Bugs and Problems
Help & Info
Terms Of Service
Who Is Online
62 guests and
version 22.3 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2023, Halogen Studios Entertainment |